on December 2, 2004
"Surrender is trudging through darkness toward the faint glimmer of light in the distance," writes Barbara Snow. "Giving up is closing your eyes to hide from the darkness."
Snow was on her honeymoon when her new husband suffered a stroke. He got hooked on alcohol and other drugs and within a year he was dead.
A lesser person might lapse into depression for years, or even for life. Snow didn't give up: she surrendered, forging gamely through the muck-or, as she says, she "stayed in the soup while it simmered"-and emerged on the other side, spiritually reborn.
Make no mistake: Caregiver is a tear-jerker. Snow sidesteps the trap of maudlinism, plunging you with her into the depths of her anguish and desperation, all the while riding the edge of that fine line between compassion and self-pity.
Only exceptional writing can do that. Caregiver is rich in lyrical wisdom: "Boundaries are rarely smashed by an overwhelming event. More often they erode like the walls of a sand castle gently lapped by an incoming tide." The book is an emotional aria, resisting the temptation to hit crescendo upon crescendo and striking just the right note in the midst of all the sturm unt drang.
This is a woman who loves deeply-perhaps too deeply. Tied as with a rope to her drowning husband, she learns late in the game about co-dependency. Caregiver offers as much insight about unhealthy boundaries as about love and inner strength.
It is, as she describes it, "an attempt to find the pony under all that manure." It also captures an extraordinary journey by an extraordinary woman.
on July 20, 2004
The Sudden Caregiver is a story of one woman's search for self, as well as her search for her place in the world. Barbara Snow the author is truly a person who inspires us to not just settle. Her life started out in a very typical and fairly normal way. Her trials were no more or less unusual than countless numbers of individuals you might have come into contact with. But then it all changes. Finding love with the man of her dreams, quickly becomes a cruel joke of sorts when her new husband has a stroke during a routine medical procedure. Unfortunately this is only the beginning of her problems as he sinks into self destructive behavior and chemical abuse. Barbara experiences the gamut of emotions all while attempting to care for her husband.
Guilt and anger, sorrow and frustration are only a few of the wide range of emotions she experiences as ultimately she finds that she can only save herself and no one else. Her journey of self realization and her place in the universe is inspirational to all who will read the book as she finds her place in this world and devotes a great deal of her life to assisting others in finding their way.
Unconventional in many ways, her story nonetheless is one of the relentlessness of the human condition to first survive and then to use the knowledge acquired in a way that will help others in their struggle to deal with the things of life that are beyond our control.
on December 23, 2004
Barbara Snow's new book, The Sudden Caregiver, Surrendering to Enlightenment is a courageous portrayal of her own experiences coping with the sudden debilitating illness of the man of her dreams. She leaves nothing out of this vivid portrayal of her own life and the foibles and issues she encountered within herself as her husband gradually succumbed to both the handicap of a stroke and the incessant pull of addiction. Her compelling story is one to inspire, guide and validate anyone whose path leads them into a way of service.
There is tremendous risk in putting oneself in the public forum as she does. Rather than pontificate, she dodges the dogmatic paradigm and simply states her life as it was. It is this objective self-analysis that makes the book so compelling. Once the last page is completed, one feels that one knows the heart of a true healer, and the reasons for which she took the path through an indigenous and very technical form of transformational healing work, as she did. Her experiences have led her into a busy career of educational and life-affirming seminars, working with hospices and hob-nobbing with some of the most powerful shamanistic practitioners the physical world enjoys.
But this is more than just a story of a healer. Through the eyes of someone truly facing the extreme edge of what might be called "unfortunate circumstance" she gives a glimpse into the practices she now employs with humility, insight and grace. The reader comes through the experience with a deeper understanding of what this kind of transformational experience is really about, how it helped her and leaves us with a taste of the holiness underneath the outer skin of each of us. Her book encourages us all to take the leap, and begin the search within. Anyone with the astute sincerity to take a good look around and seek the truth in their own lives will find this one a true page turner, right to the end.
on July 12, 2015
A riviting book about the many challenges the heroin faces when her beloved has a stroke. She provides insights to the struggle between wanting to remain supportive to her husband who becomes self destructive and her own values.
it also provides the perspective of her patient, her husband in griping detail. It is a triumpial journey for the author as she struggles through her grief and transforms into an empowered woman. A page turner
on August 12, 2005
This book is a masterfully written, candid and sobering reflection of life and living, pain and bliss, loving and caring, death and dying. I am convinced that the often in-your-face realities portrayed in this book will resonate at some level with each that chooses to venture past it's cover. I had the distinct sense as I read that I was an invisible observer - yet more than that - at times I simply had to put it down and compose myself once more in order to continue.
Very well done, Barbara Snow. My your words continue to touch the lives of many. And may each benefit from the insights contained herein.