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The Supportive Foster Parent: "Be there for me" Hardcover – April 8, 2011

5 out of 5 stars 9 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"This book really helped me. I have learned how to deal with different types of situations...how to show love when punishing, all the support systems that are available and so on.."  Ms. Yinga, first time foster mother
--Foster Parents

"I enjoyed reading about anxiety, what I should do and how and what to expect. I understand clearly that children will love their parents NO MATTER WHAT." 
LaDonna Baker, Foster mother
--Foster Parent

"As a foster parent for the past 9 years I was moved and felt very understood by your book.  The advice given will make positive changes for many of "our" children." Thank you!
--Mary Jane Nowdowski, Foster Parent --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Author

This was a book into which years of clinical experience of working with foster, blended, and step- families has been shared to reach out to more families than I ever can in independent practice.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 136 pages
  • Publisher: FriesenPress (April 8, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 177067425X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1770674257
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,093,684 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Kalyani Gopal is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience in diverse clinical settings. Dr. Gopal was trained as a clinical psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences in India. She began her doctoral training in clinical psychology in Vanderbilt University and completed her training at Alliant University. Her interests are in parenting, foster parenting, child and adolescent psychopathology, attachment issues, foster care assessment, adjustment, and training, child forensic assessments and treatment, juvenile delinquency, expert witness testimony, long term sequelae of child sexual abuse, media relations, and immigrant experiences. Dr. Gopal is on the Lake County Child Protection Team and provides consultation in handling complex foster care issues. She is also on the Lake County Child Fatality Team and was the recipient of the Outstanding Service to Lake County award in 2002. She currently holds the position as President/Clinical Director, Mid-America Psychological and Counseling Services in Merrillville, Indiana and supervises three outpatient clinics in Indiana and Illinois, and is a credentialed and preferred provider for the Division of Children and Families in Illinois, contracted provider for the Department of Child Services in Indiana, and a Disability Evaluator for the State of Indiana. Dr. Gopal is the President-Elect of the Clinical Psychology of Women (Section IV), Division of Clinical Psychology (12), American Psychological Association and Illinois Psychological Association Statewide Advocate for severe mental illness. Dr. Gopal has been an invited speaker for seminars for foster parents and agencies, and is an international speaker on Child Sexual Abuse on which she has conducted workshops across the country and internationally on the Impact of Child Sexual Abuse. Dr. Gopal is the author of 'The Supportive Foster Parent' (April 2011) and co-author of 'Americanization of New Immigrants'.

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
This is an invaluable book filled with all the basic information needed by prospective and current foster parents. All those who are contemplating, or have already taken on, the momentous responsibility of fostering a child, not to mention several children, should equip themselves with this book.

Dr. Gopal is an experienced clinical psychologist and has specialized knowledge on child sexual abuse, parenting, attachment issues and other related fields. Her wisdom and understanding shine through this book.

Stirring, in fact shocking, quotes from foster children are aptly provided at the beginning of the book. These will give you direct insight into how neglected and damaged these children are. They are not removed from their birth parents for no reason.

Those who take on the charge of fostering must thus be particularly mature, well-balanced and responsible, and be educated as to what to expect from these children and how to care for them and tackle their problems in the best possible way. The purchase and reading of this book would be an important first step in the way of educating foster parents.

All stages of the fostering process are dealt with, from the preliminary one of contemplating one's motivations for fostering, planning to do so, the welcoming stage, the educational stage, the empowering stage and the letting go/adopting stage.

One section deals with how to ensure good relations between your birth children and your foster children. Information is provided regarding common behaviour seen in foster children due to neglect, physical and/or sexual abuse. Another section deals with attachment/bonding issues, where both avoidant, resistant and disorganized attachment are explained. (These are forms of insecure attachment that often occur.
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Format: Kindle Edition
The Supportive Foster Parent: Be There For Me by Dr. KalyaniGopal, assisted by Shifali Singh is perhaps better named The Complete Guide to Being a Good Foster Parent. The author is a renowned clinical psychologist with years of experience of helping abused and neglected children and dysfunctional families. She enumerates the problems and difficulties foster parents will encounter with children placed in their care, due to the ill treatment of these children by their biological parents. She gives excellent how-to tools for coping with bad or dangerous behaviour in foster children and gives ways that are proven to work in changing these behavious and making the foster child feel secure and overcoming the tremendous load of horror he or she has been dealt in earlier life. This book is a MUST for every foster parent, those with or without children of their own. It is a guide worth its weight in gold and more! IF you are considering becoming a foster parent, or even if you have years of experience of being one, you need this book. It is an excellent tool for almost any situation you will encounter.
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Format: Paperback
This book was filled with so many great resources for any person thinking of being a foster parent or any person who is already doing this today. The book goes through any and all of the issues that potentially could come up over the time as a foster parent. What I loved about the book was how thorough the book was, giving both the positive and negative things to consider as well as things to watch out for in any foster child.

The book is raw and open and provides an eye-opening account with easy to read bulleted points that were also easy to follow and understand.

If you are looking into this or are already a foster parent you should pick up this book today!
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Format: Paperback
As a special educator who has worked with special needs foster children, I found The Supportive Foster Parent to be an excellent, practical source of information and advice for potential and experienced foster parents. Foster parents seeking to improve their personal knowledge will be able to easily read and digest this well-organized and concise text. Professionals who work with foster parents will find the text invaluable as a tool for training and on-going support. The text will also provide teachers and caregivers of foster children with a family perspective of the fostering process.

Dr. Kalyani Gopal, a clinical psychologist whose years of experience working with foster children and their families is clearly apparent in the text, takes the reader through the life cycle of fostering. The text begins with a list of quotes from foster children so realistic and thought-provoking that one can nearly sense the children's physical presence. What will their emotional futures be? How can I, as a foster parent, turn the tide of despair for these children? From here, the reader is guided through stages of fostering: Motivational; Planning; Welcoming; Adapting; Educational; Empowering; and Letting Go. Readers are asked to think about themselves (e.g., intentions, desires, behaviors) in relation to being a good foster parent; given factual information about what to expect from children put into foster care (e.g., examples of typical behavior from children who have been neglected or abused); and provided with sensible advice for coping with difficulties (e.g., ways to help the anxious child/teen). An especially good section of the text is on school-oriented issues where Dr. Gopal explains conditions that often result in the foster's child need for special education services.
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