The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible [Paperback]

Ali Binazir MD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 14, 2010

The #1-Rated Dating Book by Readers on Amazon for 88 Weeks, Since July 2011

This is what readers say:

'I have read many books about relationships and dating, but The Tao of Dating is one of a kind, so different and mind-blowing in its common sense and simplicity that it is impossible to put it down once you start reading.'

'Well, where shall I start? Mind blowing? Life-changing? Truly opened my eyes? No words can express how much I love this book. I wish I had read it much earlier.'

'I keep this book in a small, carefully chosen, boxed collection of 'indispensable advice I wish I had written' that I will pass along to my children as they navigate through teens, twenties, early adulthood and beyond.'

'This turned out to be one of the most transformative books I have ever read much more so than I thought it possibly could be.'

'The content is intelligent and compassionate and enriching far beyond anything to do with dating. In essence, this book somehow, magically, alchemically, brings you back to yourself. Everyday TV and other media specialize in portraying women as cheap and disposable. This book is the antidote. Just by reading it, one is restored to one's own heart. I can think of no better praise.'

'1.5 reads of the book in and I can honestly say that I not only have a clear sense of the basic things that I was doing that were completely throwing off the dynamic with these men, but that I now have simple, quite beautiful little tools in mind when I'm interacting with men that make me properly excited to date. I'll admit that I bought a few books in this vein in one lump...but 'The Tao of Dating' just completely blew them out of the water.'

'This is the most helpful dating book that I have experienced! At the time of my purchase I also downloaded two other books and after reading this I can't even get through the first chapter of the other ones.'

'Thanks to this specific book, I went from having a nonexistent dating life, with empty weeks stretching ahead to being booked every night of the week and in some cases, having two or three dates per evening... the results, for me, were dramatic: I now feel like I have my pick of the litter a slew of fabulous guys who all clamor for my attention.'

Can You Have it All? Hell Yeah!

I believe that smart, successful women CAN have it all -- both a great career AND a rich, warm, fulfilling love life. Do read on if you agree.

See -- smart women like yourself were having unfulfilling love lives on an epidemic scale when I was an advisor at Harvard. They either couldn't find the right guy, were with the wrong guy, had relationships that didn't last, or had given up on dating entirely. So I wrote this book to remedy the situation.

This is not your grandma's dating guide. Partially because I'm not your grandma, and partially because the 21st century poses unprecedented challenges to the modern woman. With a high-powered career, it may seem that there just isn't time for love. And nowadays, lots of guys are less educated & affluent than you. What to do?

Ancient Wisdom + Modern Science = Lasting Love & Happiness for You

This book combines ancient wisdom with modern science to give smart, successful women like yourself a heart-centered, science-based, practical guide to finding fulfillment in your love lives -- and far beyond. I give it all to you in a progression of small, easy steps that put the fun back in dating, plus the science and reasoning behind it so you can trust where it all comes from.

Click on the 'Read first chapter FREE' button above and to the right, or use the 'Click to look inside' button to read the full table of contents. Also some juicy tidbits for you in the 'About the Author' section below.

Editorial Reviews

Review

'The Tao Of Dating offers smart, successful women the ultimate dating road map. For those seeking a lifetime of deep love and fulfillment, this intelligent, spiritual, practical and wise approach provides much-needed guidance.' --Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with The Law of Attraction and Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships

'Dr Ali offers so much practical wisdom, and delivers it with deep humor and heart. The Tao of Dating is a profoundly helpful manual for women who want to feel their best and be truly fulfilled in love.' --Katherine Woodward Thomas, bestselling author of Calling in 'The One': 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life

'Dr Ali has given us in The Tao of Dating the gift of the goddesses, reminding us that we women are the ones who hold the keys to our fulfillment in relationships -- that when we claim our feminine power of simply being who we are, we cannot but find the happiness we want. It's up to us to navigate the ship to the safe harbor we so desire. Thanks Ali for honouring women so deeply!' --Agapi Stassinopoulos, author of Gods And Goddesses in Love: Getting the Life & Love That's Right for You and Conversations with the Goddesses

'The Tao of Dating is, simply, the book that I wish I'd written myself. I couldn't help but marvel that one man had compiled such a wealth of dating experience and spiritual wisdom into one slim tome. I have already bought copies for my private coaching clients and could not recommend Dr. Ali's work with any greater enthusiasm. Smart women who sometimes struggle with dating have found their Bible.' --Evan Marc Katz, Dating Coach and author of Why You're Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad

About the Author

Hi there! Dr Ali Binazir here, and I'm thrilled you're paying a visit. Relevant credentials:
--I've got a bachelor's degree from Harvard College. This means I can put two thoughts together and express them in a way you understand. More important, I also know how smart people (i.e. you) think and behave since I've been around a lot of them.
-- I have an M.D. from the University of California San Diego School of Medicine. This is where I learned how to diagnose and treat problems, including those relating to the human mind.
-- I have an M.Phil. from Cambridge University and was also a former consultant at McKinsey & Company. That's more training on how to diagnose & fix problems.
-- I'm a certified clinical hypnotherapist. This means after figuring out what someone's doing wrong, I have tools to actually change their behavior.

Much more important than all of that: I've been on hundreds (hundreds!) of dates. And I've had thousands (thousands!) of men write to me for the past six years, telling me what turns them on (and off) about women. Translation: I know how guys think and what they like. And in clear, practical terms, I can teach how you can be the thing they like -- even love.

I'm committed to helping you become the most deliriously happy and fulfilled version of you, and am glad to be of service.

Some topics of interest that I cover in The Tao of Dating:

*The dilemma of the career-oriented woman
*How to embrace your inner goddess
*Why men are so damn horny
*Why you need to kill the prince
*The perfect guy vs. the perfect guy for you
*The big secret about how men relate to female beauty
*Your secret gift as a woman
*Why good women get involved (and stay) in bad relationships
*How to spot bad boys
*How to love your body now
*Thirteen places to meet great men
*Long-distance relationships: why they suck
*Internet dating: perils and opportunities
*Meeting men: should you initiate or not?
*The Tiered Approach
*Fail-safe ways to make men approach you
*The Three-Man plan
*Rejection-Proofing yourself
*Use your Unfair Advantage
*The Magic Question
*How to be irresistible
*The Passion Formula
*3 ways to make a man fall in love with you
*What drives men away
*Getting the second date
*Balancing desire and empowerment
*The right time to have sex with a man
*How to keep a man worth keeping

Product Details

• Paperback: 280 pages
• Publisher: Elite Communications (February 14, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0977984575
• ISBN-13: 978-0977984572
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (217 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,858 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I love books! Libraries and bookstores are like temples to me, and every time I visit one, I'm awash in wonder at the power of the written word. If I could pick one superpower, it would be infinite reading speed.

I always thought that someday, I'd write books, too, but after medical school and corporate America, I was on a path far from writing. After my last consulting job, I decided to spend my time writing, teaching and doing hypnotherapy, which I've been doing since 2005.

In my spare time, I like to travel, attend interesting conferences, do yoga, go to classical music concerts, cook and read. I'm particularly interested in science (especially neuroscience and physics) and Eastern wisdom, and my writings combine these interests. One of my books is 'The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible', which as of this writing has been the highest-rated dating book on Amazon (4.8 stars) for over a year. The other is 'The Tao of Dating: The Thinking Man's Enlightened Guide to Success with Women'. If you'd like more of my writing, you may find it on my blogs and on Huffington Post.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

51 of 52 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars for all women, however smart.... May 2, 2010

By Ruth

Format:Paperback

Dr Ali's style is no nonsense, but gentle - like a kind brother or friend. The book uses both a scientific and spiritual approach. There are lots of good practical suggestions - for example on where to meet potential dates, and how to spot men who ultimately won't be able to measure up but also there is the spiritual Tao side which helps one to let go a little and trust in the abundance of the universe.
I thought the book had two main themes - one is to be the best version of yourself you can be for your own sake and working towards that. The other is the insight into the way men think and what is important to them and appreciate it is different from women, but no less valid. Knowing what matters to them helps you interact differently and more successfully - and to be prepared if things don't go quite as you hoped.
Like one of the other reviewers I don't fit into the professional, IQ off the chart model - but the advice and ideas put forward by Dr Ali will apply to all sorts of women. The book has helped me to understand how important it is to be myself and that being authentic is so much more attractive.
There's lots of great information in the book, and I have read it through more than once - in fact writing this has reminded me of so many good bits that I'm going to read it all again.

46 of 47 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Everything you could ever want or be, you already have and are May 11, 2012

By Andrea Vann

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I loved the Tao of Dating: the Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistable. I've read a lot of relationship books but this one seemed to resonate with me the most. It's kind of hard to describe what it is about this book that makes you feel so special, so sensual, so...womanly. It's about harnessing the inner goddess, the one who is downplayed because in our society we have to be strong and stand on our own, and we don't need a man! But...we still want one. It's hard to find the balance between the yin(feminine) and the yang(masculine) when our yin is muted so much. It's time to remember what it means to be a woman and stop worrying how to get a man. They will come. Men want women. Period. Stop caring so much. The idea of being detached and expecting no outcome was incredibly uplifting to me. Imagine the freedom of not having to worry what a man thinks of you...who cares! This book shows you a new perspective on how to look at these situations. For instance, say someone doesn't like champagne, that doesn't mean that champagne is bad, maybe it's just not for them. This approach will make it easier, not to mention you will learn how to stop feeling rejected. You can let go of the striving to be more, you already are everything you want! A metaphor from the book that I truly enjoyed-(paraphrased)...A sapling of great redwood is still a redwood, even when it is just a sapling. At every point of its journey, it is a great redwood, it just keeps growing.

One aspect of this book that I really loved was the thought that I shouldn't ask for something because it affirms that it is missing in my life. Replace desire with gratitude. Instead of focusing on the fact that I don't have a good man, car, etc...I am thankful for what I have and I seek to serve others.... The world, in turn will seek to serve me. I am a server and I have been practicing this when I get bad tips. I am grateful that I have more money than I did when I came in, and I am continuously repeating to myself that I am grateful for the abundance in my life. It makes the bad tippers not matter as much and the good tips reaffirm the abundance. I have been making a lot more money recently! I also have been practicing the embodiment of characteristics of femininity. I mostly focus on feeling radiant and everyone I work with has been saying that I have a glow about me that wasn't there before! It's amazing.
I really liked the idea that pain is wishing the world is different than it is. Now I understand the Buddhist thought that desire leads to suffering. Focusing on the positive brings more of it your way, if you focus on negativity, you will get negativity. "When you have gratitude for something, you are accepting its presence into your life and affirming it to the world. In return, the world will do the same and manifest the object in your life."

So now, I am thankful for all of the witty, creative, handsome amazing men in my life!

You will also learn 5 behaviors that send men running, as well as ways to keep them around. One of my favorite thoughts from the book- "Women control the depth of the relationship, men control the direction." Stop directing ladies! Let men be men! You be a lady! Enjoy your wonderful sensual self and others will follow. Read more ›

66 of 71 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best dating book ever October 30, 2011

By Amazonilla

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I have read many books about relationships and dating, but the Tao of Dating is one of a kind, so different and mind-blowing in its common sense and simplicity that is impossible to put it down once you start reading. To be honest, I can't understand why there aren't 200 reviews instead of the poor thirty something that can be found here.

It is by chance that I came through the Tao of Dating and I purchased it. One of those days that you feel like pressing too often the "buy with one-click" button for kindle, or any online shopping button, just because it is, well, one click. I am not a religious person at all or into new age mumbo-jumbo, so this would have never been, in theory, my first option nor the book I was looking for. Moreover, being as rational as I am, I thought, jeez just 35 reviews is not much for a dating book!

But, alas, here I am, so very much impressed and affected by this book. In fact, the book has already produced a mental shift in me, an internal one. This is so because it makes sense, and most importantly, empowers me as a woman.

I love the fact that the book is written by a man who loves and respects women, clever women specially, and understands we are wired differently from other women. Besides, most of the NLP exercises he proposes are excellent, very fulfilling and enjoyable per se, so even if they don't help us to find a man, they will still be cool to do. The sort of exercise that I/you could do to get rid of stress, for example.

The main difference between this book and most of the dating literature out there is that The Tao of Dating goes inside our head and your heart and helps you to unlock those doors that, without we knowing, we alone have locked.... If they were unlocked, more good men would be approaching us and, we would see more of them immediately approaching.

Most clever career/intellectual women, the ones still single, are emotionally autistic. I have always recognised that and asked myself, where are the clues? How do I send clues? How do I read clues from/to men? Why despite my talent, mystique and femininity I am single? Why aren't a bunch of hot men at my feet? This book helps you to understand yourself/myself better and to change within, to bring the best of us, still being us, Mary, Josephine, Alissa or whomever you are.

This is the book that any good woman, with brains (or without) should read because, no matter what, it will produce a better version of yourself. To me, just that, is priceless. Read more ›

47 of 53 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars SPECIFIC TIPS THAT WORKED FOR ME, NO FLUFF April 28, 2010

By dragonfliez

Format:Paperback

Here's an example of one of the best things I learned from Alex that got AMAZING and IMMEDIATE results from men I actually wanted!

First, I have to tell you that I despite beautiful, smart, successful, well off, fun, funny, and sexy, (and I'm NOT exaggerating or just being positive here), I found myself constanty frustrated to no end with only men I didn't want pursuing me and treating me like I wanted to be treated, but no interest, no pursuit from the ones I wanted!

I felt dating was hopeless. I was always irritated with the ones pursuing me, wishing "now why can't so-and-so, who I actually WANT, treat me like this???" I had read all of Paige Parker's e-books and listened to all of Christian Carter's CD books (both excellent companions to Dr. Benazir's work, but no substitute!) and found that what Ali had to say in much more succinct terms was not only the missing piece, but the main meat of what all the others were trying to say in their dozens of more expensive products.

Everything changed for me because of a few things I absorbed from Ali's material. (One of these things that I reiterated as my own belief, had the man of my dreams "joking" about eloping just two weeks into it!)

THE FIVE THINGS A GODDESS GIVES A MAN by Dr. Ali Benazir

1. Give him his Freedom

2. Give him your Faith

3. Give him your Bond (be there for him, be reliable, show up on time, do as you say, be a true partner)

4. Give him your Praise

5. Give him your Grace (your forgiveness)