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The Tender Bar: A Memoir [Paperback]

J. R. Moehringer
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (323 customer reviews)

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Book Description

July 26, 2006
The bestselling memoir that captured the hearts of readers and critics nationwide is now available in paperback

In the tradition of This Boy's Life and The Liar's Club, J.R. Moehringer's The Tender Bar is a raucous, poignant, luminously written memoir about a boy striving to become a man, and his romance with a bar. A national bestseller that was named one of the 100 Most Notable Books of 2005 by the New York Times, The Tender Bar will reach an even larger audience in paperback.


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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"Long before it legally served me, the bar saved me," asserts J.R. Moehringer, and his compelling memoir The Tender Bar is the story of how and why. A Pulitzer-Prize winning writer for the Los Angeles Times, Moehringer grew up fatherless in pub-heavy Manhasset, New York, in a ramshackle house crammed with cousins and ruled by an eccentric, unkind grandfather. Desperate for a paternal figure, he turns first to his father, a DJ whom he can only access via the radio (Moehringer calls him The Voice and pictures him as "talking smoke"). When The Voice suddenly disappears from the airwaves, Moehringer turns to his hairless Uncle Charlie, and subsequently, Uncle Charlie's place of employment--a bar called Dickens that soon takes center stage. While Moehringer may occasionally resort to an overwrought metaphor (the footsteps of his family sound like "storm troopers on stilts"), his writing moves at a quick clip and his tale of a dysfunctional but tightly knit community is warmly told. "While I fear that we're drawn to what abandons us, and to what seems most likely to abandon us, in the end I believe we're defined by what embraces us," Moehringer says, and his story makes us believe it. --Brangien Davis --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

[Signature]Reviewed by Terry GolwayYou needn't be a writer to appreciate the romance of the corner tavern—or, for that matter, of the local dive in a suburban strip mall. But perhaps it does take a writer to explain the appeal of these places that ought to offend us on any number of levels—they often smell bad, the decor generally is best viewed through bloodshot eyes and, by night's end, they usually do not offer an uplifting vision of the human condition.Ah, but what would we do without them, and what would we do without the companionship of fellow pilgrims whose journey through life requires the assistance of a drop or two?J.R. Moehringer, a Pulitzer Prize–winning writer for the Los Angeles Times, has written a memoir that explains it all, and then some. The Tender Bar is the story of a young man who knows his father only as "The Voice," of a single mother struggling to make a better life for her son, and of a riotously dysfunctional family from Long Island. But more than anything else, Moehringer's book is a homage to the culture of the local pub. That's where young J.R. seeks out the companionship of male role models in place of his absent father, where he receives an education that has served him well in his career and where, inevitably, he looks for love, bemoans its absence and mourns its loss.Moehringer grew up in Manhasset, a place, he writes, that "believed in booze." At a young age, he became a regular—not a drinker, of course, for he was far too young. But while still tender of years, he was introduced to the culture, to the companionship and—yes—to the romance of it all. "Everyone has a holy place, a refuge, where their heart is purer, their mind clearer, where they feel close to God or love or truth or whatever it is they happen to worship," he writes. For young J.R., that place was a gin mill on Plandome Road where his Uncle Charlie was a bartender and a patron.The Tender Bar's emotional climax comes after its native son has found success as a journalist for the Los Angeles Times. On September 11, 2001, almost 50 souls who lived and loved in Moehringer's home town of Manhasset were killed in the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. One was a bartender we've met along the way. Another was one of the author's cousins.Moehringer drove from Denver, where he was based as a correspondent for the Times, to New York to mourn and comfort old friends. He describes his cousin's mother, Charlene Byrne, as she grieved: "Charlene was crying, the kind of crying I could tell would last for years."And so it has, in Manhasset and so many other Long Island commuter towns. Moehringer's lovely evocation of an ordinary place filled with ordinary people gives dignity and meaning to those lost lives, and to his own.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 370 pages
  • Publisher: Hyperion (July 26, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0786888768
  • ISBN-13: 978-0786888764
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 1.2 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (323 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,349 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Beautifully written and heartbreaking at times, JR Moehringer tells the story of his life. Stephanie Toland  |  90 reviewers made a similar statement
Simply one of the best books I've read in a long time. anonymous  |  50 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
152 of 155 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This is one of those books that paralyzes the reviewer in its beauty. What can I say to convince you to read this book? Ideally, I'd just highlight every single line and make you read it.

It is nearly impossible to pin down one theme Moehringer's memoir is about: Fatherless boys? Working class moms trying to make ends meet? The search for a father figure in a crowd of bartenders? The genesis of a journalist, of a writer? The life of a blue-collar Yalie? Determining one's purpose in life? An intense character study of men in a bar? The rebellion of a son against his mom's intense love and support? Society's love affair with alcohol? In the end, this memoir is all of this and so much more, told in marvelous prose.

The author biography in the back jacket flap reveals that Moehringer is a Pulitzer Prize winner and national correspondent for the Los Angeles Times. These facts will help buoy the reader when our author is failing out of Yale, failing at life, or struggling to get promoted beyond his hard-won copyboy position at the New York Times. Moehringer searches for purpose, reason, motivations, and positive reinforcement (other than from his mother). He especially struggles with his unpublished novel, which he worked on for close to a decade (and which I suspect became the basis for his memoir, since the novel was reportedly largely autobiographical).

This is one of those books one needs to own, for the underlining of critical passages and literary references to review again later. Be prepared to get intimate with the tough, ruddy-faced bartenders and barkeeps of Publicans (especially Uncle Charlie, who I have known in another body in my own life), and to put Steve's bar on the list of places to visit before you die.
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57 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A poignant, heartfelt, and absorbing read September 13, 2005
Format:Hardcover
Take one part CHARMING BILLY, a dash of Frank McCourt, add a shot of "Cheers," serve straight up, and you'll have the charming concoction that is THE TENDER BAR. J.R. Moehringer fondly reflects on his youth, however misspent, within the cooling shadows of the town's local bar.

In Manhasset, the place to go was Dickens (later renamed Publicans) on Plandome Road. Like the pubs of old, it was the place to celebrate, commiserate and pontificate. Sooner or later, everyone wound up at its door, thanks largely to its kind and commanding owner, Steve. In the mid-seventies, J.R. Moehringer was an adolescent badly in need of a father figure. His dedicated mother worked as many as three jobs to keep them on their feet. His grandparents were concerned but somewhat distant; his grandfather was downright abusive to everyone except little J.R., who was so named after his father, a radio disc jockey who has little to do with his son. Moehringer listens to his late-night radio broadcasts and refers to him only as "The Voice," a far away, unknowable being who flits in and out of his young son's life only briefly.

When he and his mother move to Arizona for better prospects and to be near their cousins, he finds himself lonelier than ever. His mother decides to send him back to his grandparents in Manhasset for the summer, and soon he gets his first taste of life around the bar. His Uncle Charlie, at his mother's request, starts taking little J.R. with him on excursions to the beach and to ball games, all of which culminate with a visit to "the Bar."

Finally, he finds what he has been looking for --- a family, albeit an unconventional one. Who wouldn't want to glean all he can from guys named Bobo, Joey D. and Colt?
... Read more ›
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84 of 92 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars 'Hall of Fame' Bartender says "Wow!" August 19, 2005
Format:Hardcover
Just finished reading 'The Tender Bar'.

"Wow" is not a strong enough word for this insight into humanity.

Maybe because of my friendship with McGraw, my growing up in taverns in southern Illinois, my over thirty years of international bartending and my over 5,000 Beverage/Literature library I might be a little more inclined to like this work that uses a drinking establishment as a vehicle to tell a story of growing up.

Moehringer reminds me of Pete Hamil, Art Buchwald and Malichi McCourt but with a more modern honesty for putting his gonads and family disruptions on the bar for all to see. Hopefully in another book my long list of questions about what happened to the great folks in his story will be answered.

Boy, did this old St. Louis bartender identify with Uncle Charlie.

If you are in the liquor industry or have ever been associated with saloons you will have one of your best reads in many, many years.

Thanks J.R., I'm waiting for your next books.
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28 of 30 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Genius. October 8, 2005
By Galen
Format:Hardcover
I can't remember the last time I was so spellbound by a book. No one could talk to me while I was reading it--and I took my time finishing, because I didn't want it to end. It's sad, it's funny, it introduces characters I will never forget. It's both gorgeously written and page-turning. I can't pick a favorite scene--Bill and Budd, the agoraphobic booksellers? The father-son breakfast? The mad chase on Camelback Mountain? Mr. Salty? And the Epilogue blew me away. Read it and make everyone you know do the same.
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27 of 29 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars an independent perspective September 1, 2005
Format:Hardcover
Unlike two other reviewers, I don't know the author, the bar, the characters or the town. But I did bring up a boy (teenaged now) as a single mom so I guess that's my big connection. I LOVED this book. Mr. Moehringer has written about his family and friends in a way that just rings true. Having read many of the painful memoirs so popular in recent years, I found The Tender Bar refreshing in it's honesty, simplicity and most of all in it's humor. No families are normal, all families give you something, we all must rise above and find our own way, just like JR has.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Overcoming the odds
A memoir about a kid coming of age where he recollects about the patrons and employees of a Manhasset bar, and the bar itself, as shaping his life. Read more
Published 11 hours ago by A&P
3.0 out of 5 stars The tender bar
I enjoyed the book but it was a bit tedious . I would recommend it to men as I think if would appeal to them better.
Published 14 days ago by Lily
5.0 out of 5 stars I'll have a double!
A well written, witty account of growing up, with excellent descriptions of the diversity of characters who walk right out of the pages into your heart.
Published 16 days ago by Wendy
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book in a long time
Very well written a great book to take on a vacation, easily brings you in as one of the characters, while you feel like your sitting right there at the bar, the smell of beer, the... Read more
Published 16 days ago by TUALA D HAWKINS
5.0 out of 5 stars Really good memoir
I heard this fellow when interviewed about his latest book but the discussion about this one intrigued me more. His story is not only wild but funny. Read more
Published 17 days ago by Dave of HV
3.0 out of 5 stars Okay?
This book disappointed me somewhat. I understood the reason behind writing it but somehow it dragged more than I think it should. Read more
Published 23 days ago by rubysuehoy
4.0 out of 5 stars Ok
This book is an interesting read. It's a true story of a boy from a very disfunctional family who gets a scholarship to Yale. I liked it because it is a true story. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Jan McManus
5.0 out of 5 stars One of best books I've ever read!
The storytelling reminds me of Angela's Ashes and the writing is amazing. Thought-provoking and emotional. Love this book!!! Highly recommend it for anyone.
Published 1 month ago by Julia L. Corcoran
3.0 out of 5 stars The Tender Bar
My book club read this book otherwise I don't think if would have read it. It's a boring subject and read.
Published 1 month ago by Christine Lind
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting Story, But Too Long
The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer is the true story of a boy raised by a loving single mother in a dysfunctional family, especially of male relatives. Read more
Published 1 month ago by 2LZ
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Does anyone have or had a "Dickens/Publicans" in their life?
Sep 5, 2006 by Joan Collins |  See all 2 posts
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