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The Tender Heart: Conquering Your Insecurity Paperback – April 10, 2001


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Editorial Reviews

Review

Marcy Calhoun author of Are You Really Too Sensitive? The Tender Heart is an enlightened and practical book of wisdom for sensitive people everywhere.

Thomas Eldridge founder and director of the Center for Highly Sensitive People The Tender Heart offers a new way of understanding why people can have totally different experiences in relationships...A landmark step toward changing the way we see ourselves and the way we raise our children.

About the Author

Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D., is a psychologist at the University of Connecticut Health Center. The founder of the Institute of Interpersonal Sensitivity, he also has a private practice in Tolland, Connecticut, where he lives.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 230 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone; 1st edition (April 10, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 068487167X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684871677
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #278,944 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Joseph Nowinski, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist who is currently Supervising Psychologist at the University of Connecticut Health Center. He has held positions as Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco and Associate Adjunct Professor of Psychology at the University of Connecticut.

Dr. Nowinski is internationally recognized for his work in substance abuse treatment. He has a private practice in Tolland, Connecticut. Dr. Nowinski is the author of many books including Saying Goodbye: A Guide to Coping with a Loved One's Terminal Illness and Almost Alcoholic: Is My (or My Loved One's) Drinking a Problem?

Dr. Nowinski has been interviewed hundreds of times throughout his career and his books have been featured in The New York Times, Psychotherapy Networker, NPR, and many other media outlets. He blogs regularly for HuffingtonPost.com and PsychologyToday.com.


Dr.Nowinski's other recent books are:

The Divorced Child: Strenghtening Your Family through the First Three Years of Separation.

Stop Dating Jerks! The Smart Woman's Guide to Breaking the Pattern and Finding the Love of Your Life.

Dr. Nowinski's other books include:
The Identity Trap: Saving Our Teens from Themselves. This book won a Silver Nautilus Book Award in 2008.

Six Questions that Can Change Your Life: Dramatically, Completely, Forever.
The Tender Heart: Conquering Your Insecurity.

Dr. Nowinski lives in Tolland Connecticut with his family. His favorite place in the world, though, is Mt. Desert Island, Maine, where his family enjoys vacationing in Acadia National Park.

Dr. welcomes comments and questions about his books. For further information visit www.josephnowinski.com or email Dr. Nowinski at jnowinski@sbcglobal.net.

Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful By Jeannie Morezzi on June 6, 2002
Format: Paperback
The subject matter of this book is one which deserves serious exploration. In fact, the subtitle "Conquering Your Insecurity" was a big enticement (if only...). Unfortunately, this book explores and recommends very little. Once the premise is set forth, that tenderheartedness or toughheartedness is a congenital predisposition, and how it comes about, and how it manifests itself in daily life, (career, relationship, etc.) the book goes no further - just keeps repeating and attempting to substantiate that premise. The "case studies" used to demonstrate these ideas are WAY too long and utterly lack substance. It's like when someone says "to make a long story short..." you know you're in for a long, drawn out nothing. If you're looking for concrete self-help, thought provoking substance and engaging reading, this ain't it. See Marcy Calhoun's "Are You Really Too Sensitive?" It's substantive, meaningful and useful on this subject. Best wishes to all who are searching.
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28 of 30 people found the following review helpful By M. Kendis on May 3, 2001
Format: Paperback
The Tender Heart focuses on sensitivity as a trait a person is born with. A person is either highly sensitive or hard hearted, most likely somewhere inbetween, as described in Joe Nowinski's new book. For the first time, I feel this is an understanding of human nature that has not been explored before. I feel it puts into perspective, why different people react differently to the same situations, just by their very natures they are born with. It addresses why some people can be so disturbed by a situation, while another is completely oblivious to it. Then added is a layer of security or insecurity, and how it interacts with the sensitive or hard hearted person. This explains a lot of the interpersonal interactions of people. Human emotions are very much multi-dimensional and complex. By understanding the layers in which a person perceives a situation, colored by their emotional make-up, helps shine a light on easing many problems that exist in many relationships. What makes this book such a valuable tool, is that Nowinski is able to help describe situations and give solutions, not only for adults dealing with troubling situations, but to recognize sensitivities in children and how it affects their development. I highly recommend this book.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By timNardoni on November 12, 2002
Format: Paperback
The author explains and reexplains *where* how a person may develop tender-heartedness but does little to fulfill the promise of conquering insecurity. The first few chapers were a good overview, but there was not much practical advice for how to deal with emotional predators in, say, the workplace. I'm eager to check out some of the books other users here have suggested instead...
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 25, 2004
Format: Paperback
Yes - this book did have a great start... I was flipping through the pages reading each one carefully waiting to see where the author gets to the "conquering your insecurites"... I was left with a one page- three step recipe to acomplish what the book claims. The title is misleading... maybe it was done so purposefully to write part II?
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 24, 2001
Format: Paperback
The author had great insite to different types of personalities and reasonable explanations as to why certain people react differently to situations. What I didn't get was how to address the problems of insecurity. The author gave some very general guidelines, but nothing specific to work toward. That part was very frustrating to me. I was hoping to take away some good advice on how to approach these problems.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Mrs on July 6, 2007
Format: Paperback
I've read the other reviews claiming this book doesn't live up to expectations. Whilst I agree in some ways, and did find it often repetitive, I personally got a lot out of it. By taking the time to reflect after each chapter on how it applied to my life I was able to better process this. A big part of me wanted to jump straight to solution mode but by working through my own "stuff" and looking back on my childhood etc I was able to better understand my own insecurities. After that I basically came up with the solutions on my own - it all comes down to self awareness. Too often we rely on books to help us solve our problems rather than use them as a key to unlock our own ability to help ourselves. Dont dismiss this book as I believe it has a lot to offer and has helped me immensely.
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16 of 20 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 26, 2003
Format: Paperback
If only people were this concrete and would quit bothering others with their annoying complexities. In addition to the thoughts expressed in the other reviews I was confused by the author's idea that it is best to "get out" of a relationship with some one who is insecure (because they won't change) in a book that is supposed to help people who are insecure.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Book Addict on January 4, 2007
Format: Paperback
I agree that the author does not provide specifics on solving the problem of insecurity. However, I don't think that was his purpose in this book. He focuses on providing an understanding of the tenderhearted personality type. The information was very helpful to me, opening my eyes up to aspects of this issue that I had not considered previously. I learned a lot from this book.
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