The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more



or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering
More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Start reading The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Color:
Image not available

To view this video download Flash Player

 

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study [Paperback]

Judith S. Wallerstein , Julia M. Lewis , Sandra Blakeslee
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (106 customer reviews)

List Price: $15.99
Price: $11.37 & FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $4.62 (29%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Usually ships within 10 to 14 days.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $8.49  
Hardcover $16.88  
Paperback $11.37  
Audio, Cassette, Abridged --  
Unknown Binding --  
Audible Audio Edition, Abridged $11.95 or Free with Audible 30-day free trial
Image
Save on Popular Books This Summer
Browse our Bookshelf Favorites store for big savings on popular fiction, nonfiction, children's books, and more.

Book Description

September 19, 2001
Finally in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that has fundamentally changed the way children of divorce see themselves as adults -- updated with a new preface by the author.

Divorce is at once a widespread reality and a painful decision, so it is no surprise that this landmark study of its long-term effects should both spark debate and find a large audience.

In this compelling, thought-provoking book, Judith Wallerstein explains that, while children do learn to cope with divorce, it in fact takes its greatest toll in adulthood, when the sons and daughters of divorced parents embark on romantic relationships of their own. Wallerstein sensitively illustrates how children of divorce often feel that their relationships are doomed, seek to avoid conflict, and fear commitment. Failure in their loving relationships often seems to them preordained, even when things are going smoothly. As Wallerstein checks in on the adults she first encountered as youngsters more than twenty-five years ago, she finds that their experiences mesh with those of the millions of other children of divorce, who will find themselves on every page.

With more than 100,000 copies in print, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce spent three weeks on the New York Times, San Francisco Chronicle, and Denver Post bestseller lists. The book was also featured on two episodes of Oprah as well as on the front cover of Time and the New York Times Book Review.


Frequently Bought Together

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study + Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce
Price for both: $24.76

One of these items ships sooner than the other.

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

During the last 40 years, our society's views on how families are created and how they operate has undergone a tremendous shift. In The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, authors Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee have assembled a variety of stories from people of different ages and life stages. Some are children of divorce, some are from families that stayed unhappily intact, but all of them offer valuable information important to all of us as parents, children, and members of society at large. Separate chapters focus on the different roles children take on in the event of a divorce or unhappy marriage, ranging from positive role model to deeply troubled adolescent. In many cases, the people interviewed continue to define themselves as children of divorce up to 30 years after the occurrence; this is described by one subject as "sort of a permanent identity, like being adopted or something."

Both encouraging and thought-provoking, the final chapter questions how we maintain the freedom made possible by divorce while, at the same time, minimizing the damage. The authors' response to this question begins with pragmatic suggestions about strengthening marriage--not bland "family values" rhetoric but practical how-to ideas combined with national policy initiatives that have been making the rounds for years. With fascinating stories and statistics, Wasserstein, Lewis, and Blakeslee have illuminated the improvements within reach while our society experiences these massive changes in it's most fundamental relationships. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Twenty-five years ago, when the impact of divorce on children was not well understood, Wallerstein began what has now become the largest study on the subject, and this audiobook, which McIntire reads with compassion and warmth, presents the psychologist's startling findings. By tracking approximately 100 children as they forge their lives as adults, she has found that contrary to the popular belief that kids would bounce back after the initial pain of their parents' split, children of divorce often continue to suffer well into adulthood. Their pain plays out in their relationships, their work lives and their confidence about parenting themselves. Wallerstein argues that although the situation is dire, there is hope to be found at the end of good counseling and healing. Unfortunately, in her desire to communicate a lot in a highly accessible format, Wallerstein verges on oversimplification at times. Nonetheless, hers is an important contribution to our understanding of what is a central social problem. Based on the Hyperion hardcover (Forecasts, July 17, 2000).

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 351 pages
  • Publisher: Hyperion; 1st edition (September 19, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0786886161
  • ISBN-13: 978-0786886166
  • Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.9 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (106 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,931 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

I highly recommend for adult children of divorce AND their parents. McCullers  |  27 reviewers made a similar statement
All of the books are "must reads" for those who are considering divorce or have divorced. Thomas M. Loarie  |  15 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
112 of 112 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Myth #1 - The Children Will Do Fine June 23, 2005
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Having suffered through an unwanted divorce twenty years ago, and having taken on the full responsibility for raising my two children (ages 10 and 13 at the time), "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" was a welcomed book by me and my children.

My children have continued to experience divorce related issues as they have moved into adulthood. Maturity, relationships, marriage, and parenting have been catalysts for the emergence of feelings that were buried and denied. Judith Wallerstein's excellent book provides the context and structure for my adult children to explore and understand their "new" feelings (and behaviors) enabling them to move-on, happier and emotionally healthier.

My children, their spouses, and I have all read "Unexpected Legacy of Divorce." We have and will continue to use the book as a resource in our on-going effort to get closure. We have all come to understand that the feelings and behaviors that are surfacing are not unique but, rather, are quite "normal" for children of divorce. This has been of great comfort for them - allowing them to cleanse the shadows of divorce and move forward with greater confidence that they are not weird.

Wallerstein has conducted a longitudinal research study of divorce dating back to the late 1970's. "Unexpected Legacy" is the third and most recent book based on the study. In previous books, she has studied the effects of divorce, not only on children, as she has in this book, but also on the divorcing parents. All of the books are "must reads" for those who are considering divorce or have divorced.

Over the years, I have had a number of people confide in me that either they or their spouses were considering divorce.
... Read more ›
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
118 of 122 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read! September 14, 2000
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is the latest in a series of books written by Wallerstein about children and divorce. It provides excellent insights into what children are going through. As the child of divorce myself, I found myself thinking "YES" when reading each page. Her observations about what kids are feeling were brilliant and right on target. It's an uncomfortable book -- many parents won't want to know what they're putting their children through, and children won't want to live again through feelings that they might very well not wish to examine. Nevertheless, this is an absolute must-read for anyone who cares about a child of divorce. Since adults are so much more articulate and well-connected than children, it is often only their perspectives that are heard when divorce is discussed. But children must be heard too! Wallerstein's comparisons of the children of divorce and the children of "intact" families who grew up in the same neighborhoods is also invaluable, highlighting the unique problems children of divorce face. I recommend that anyone who finds this book useful should also read THE DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD and THE NARCISSISTIC FAMILY. Both books deal with similar themes, and can be similarly useful in dealing with children of divorce, adult children of divorce, or adult children of dysfunctional families.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
84 of 88 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
The brand new 352 page book really spells out with great insight how children are affected by divorce. Written by a true authority in the field, Dr. Wallerstein's book should be required reading for parents in troubled marriages. Kids of such marriages are OWED this information. Through her many interviews with children of divorced parents, she has learned how they really feel, how they react to divorce and how it has affected their own married lives and their children years later. Just a few of the topics covered include: When a Child Becomes the Caregiver, What If They'd Stayed Together- and What If They Can't, Family Ties, Growing Up Lonely, Court-Ordered Visiting, the Child's View, The Stepfamily, and much, much more. Dr. Wallerstein shows how many children of divorced parents actually overcome their fears and sorrows, and become loving partners and parents. Of great importance is her coverage of whether parents should stay unhappily married or to divorce, a question routinely faced by couples. This is a great book that should be read not only by parents, but all of those dealing with potential divorce situations. A very important book, that can only help the situation.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
46 of 47 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The Mother Lode of Divorce Books October 17, 2000
Format:Hardcover
A long but worthy book recommended for anyone touched by or considering divorce. I read it as an adult child of divorced parents, looking for further clues to heal the past and become a more emotionally secure person. This book helped. It offers four in-depth case studies of two women and two men, relating the childhood and teen experiences of these four to each other and to additional observations about divorce. This manner of presentation demonstrates the kind of close personal attention and genuine interest in these children and their development(over a 25 year span) that I always wished had come from my parents. The authors do a good job of being clear about the need of children for secure parenting and give tips on how to provide it without making pronouncements about whether divorce or staying together is definitely better in a given case. (Though they do state that divorce is ultimately more detrimental to children, especially as they come of age and attempt to form their own committed relationships, than we have thus far believed.)

In addition to the compassionate voice of the authors, the real benefit of this book is the longevity of the studies undertaken. The passage of time in these children's lives and the lessons learned therefrom are a perfect counterweight to the impatient tendency of some parents who divorce to say "oh, the kids will adjust," and go right ahead doing what they think will satisfy themselves. In a tangential way, the book also opens for discussion the topic of who should be a parent, given the sacrifices and ability to put another above oneself that it almost always takes....

Two small criticisms of this book. The time format as far as when the children were interviewed is unclear, and at times possibly inaccurate. This may be to keep people from being identified, but it detracts from knowing precisely at what age certain conversations or events happened. I kept stopping to try to figure out, well if you saw him when he was 12, and then five years later, he would have to be 17, not 21....etc. Getting these details clearer would have increased the impact of the stories. Secondly, the book's concluding chapters seem underdeveloped, especially in light of the implications earlier in the book that "we'll talk about that topic later" and then not seeming to get around to address it. Perhaps a summary list of important conclusions would have helped.

Though not the final word on the critical subject of divorce, this is certainly a landmark book which I hope many will read and take to heart. Read more ›

Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating, though somewhat limited
Beginning in 1971, Judith Wallerstein began to interview the parents and (especially) the children in families that had recently filed for divorce. Read more
Published 11 days ago by Kurt A. Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
A true eye opener. Very real and touching stories that I can relate to as a child of divorced parents and also as a woman going through an unwanted divorce. Read more
Published 16 days ago by Lovely L
5.0 out of 5 stars The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
It should be required reading by the state with a mandatory class, before anyone should be allowed to file for divorce who has children!!
Published 1 month ago by RD
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book on Divorce
I READ THIS BOOK IN JUST A FEW DAYS. AS A GRADUATE STUDENT WITH A CONCENTRATION IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY, I BELIEVE IT IS AN ESSENTIAL READ FOR ALL!
Published 1 month ago by Shirley K. Schulte
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book - very useful
I highly recommend it as a way to gain a better understanding of the impact of divorce on children, especially from the perspective of children who have been through it. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Morris A. Moore
5.0 out of 5 stars Identified strongly with this, wish I would have read it 10 years ago
I almost never write product reviews on Amazon. However, this book impacted me so strongly, I feel the need to add to the chorus of 5 star reviews. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Ryan Seabury
5.0 out of 5 stars Divorced?
Required reading. It will let you know some of the things to keep in mind and consider when dealing with your divorce, how to help the kids best, and some really important things... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Ruqayyah
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book on long-term effects of divorce, but light on advice
This book is the most monumental analysis of the long-term effects of divorce on children you can find. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Adam J. Wiederman
4.0 out of 5 stars Much to Ponder
While Dr. Wallerstein doesn't take a position on the desirability of divorce itself, she presents a powerful argument that we all should be paying a great deal more attention to... Read more
Published 12 months ago by T. Brownfield
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful Book
This was a powerful book. It reminded me of Home Alone America, by Mary Eberstadt. Both these books are willing to actually look at some things that many parents do to their... Read more
Published 15 months ago by I. Traylor
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews


Forums

Topic From this Discussion
I am hoping this book may help me somehow...
Dear Gingerbread,
I speak to you with 51+ yrs of life experience. I also grew up in a wonderful loving home - with parents that adored each one of us. I knew our home was special and truly felt that richness from age 4. I married into a family where for generations that was not true (divorce... Read more
Dec 7, 2007 by AM-Ohio |  See all 3 posts
Have something you'd like to share about this product?
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions




Look for Similar Items by Category