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The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You Paperback – October 1, 2009


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Product Details

  • Age Range: 12 and up
  • Grade Level: 7 and up
  • Lexile Measure: 910L (What's this?)
  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks (October 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0545202388
  • ISBN-13: 978-0545202381
  • Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 5.6 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,070,868 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

3.2 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

By RusticLemon on January 20, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Well I would have to say this is more for a teens view although they are dating full grown or older vamps which is strange. I didn't finish this book but it was funny.
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Format: Paperback
When it first came out, I loved He's Just Not That Into You. When I found out they had a vampire version, I just had to read it. However, I was disappointed. It was probably my own fault that I was disappointed. I didn't do enough research on the book before buying it. I thought the book was going to be a young adult book but it turned out to be middle grade. It was way below my reading level. I felt kind of silly reading it. Also, I thought it was going to be an actual novel, but it was more of a how to guide. Although He's Not That Into You was a guide as well, it didn't have all the charts and quizzes. I think the author thought that this would make the book more fun to read but it didn't. I'm not quite sure if the author was trying to be like Twilight, or make fun of it with all the references to it. It just did not work. It just made it seem like he was trying too hard to be funny. As much as I dislike the book, there are a few things that I did like about it. The cover is beautiful. I like how the cover is a spoof of He's Not That Into You, with more of a goth feel. Also when the author was using his humor in a non-twilight way, he was actually pretty witty. He made me chuckle a few times. However, the positives of the book don't make up for how much I disliked it.
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By Donna C on July 21, 2011
Format: Paperback
I both really liked this book for its satire and was leery of it because, well, I can see sparkly-eyed teen girls taking the quizzes like they do in Cosmo and holding themselves to the results. Poor boyfriends. I just can't tell if the satire wasn't strong enough or if it's just me reading a little too much into it.

Either way it was pretty funny. It's pretty much a total rip on TWILIGHT and tells you how klutzy to be in order to snag a sparkly one, among other things. The breakdown of normal boys, goth boys and vampires was pretty funny, complete with diagrams with zits and fangs (not combined, of course).

The voice was awesome and the tone was consistent. Vlad did a good job of getting his expertise across without slaughtering any of the testimonial reporters. I think. Good for him if he did.

It was a super short read, meant to be light-hearted and silly. If you're a diehard TWILIGHT fan you probably won't like it because it makes no qualms about ripping the Edward-ish a new butthole. It maintains its "integrity" until the end and I think that might be what holds me back from really loving this book. I want to but the satire is at times hard for me to swallow because I can't help but think that a couple parts might not be satirical. Kind of absurd but that line between reality and satire is blurred which makes me leery.

Still, it's a funny book and if you're looking for a quick break from the vampire inundation, this is a good break to have.
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Format: Paperback
"Vlad Mezrich" is a pseudonym for a team of Scholastic writers who pooled their satirical talents to create this fun little book (David Levithan is the editor). The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You parodies dating guides, teen-magazine quizzes, and most of all, current tropes in vampire literature. Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) gets the lion's share of Vlad's snark, but there are references to Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, and others as well.

Aspiring Bellas and Minas will learn how to tell a vampire from an ordinary goth or emo boy, how to attract a vampire, how to convince him to make you his immortal beloved, and how to recognize the signs of a relationship gone south. In true teen-magazine fashion, The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You features advice, quizzes, horoscopes, and "testimonial" quotes from bloodsucking fiends and the girls who love them. These sections are interspersed with notes from a vampire slayer, who has a very different perspective on things!

While this is a lighthearted, fluffy book, it actually does a great job of highlighting some disturbing vampire-lit tropes. Stalking is not romantic, and a guy who is torn between loving you and killing you is probably not Mr. Right. I can sit here as a curmudgeonly adult reader and blather about this till I'm blue in the face, but "Vlad" makes the same point much more effectively with humor.

The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You is a quick read and a great way to kill an hour or two. It reminded me a bit of Neil Zawacki's How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!, another satirical "how-to" book that gleefully skewers literary and cinematic clichés.
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