The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles [Kindle Edition]

Ray Rhamey (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles upends vampire mythology when Patch, a calico tomcat, is turned into breakfast--and a vampire kitty-cat--by a starving vampire. Narrated by Patch in a deliciously snarky cat take on the world, Patch struggles to find a new life, as it were. In the process, he's almost skewered with a stake by a mob, tried for murder, just about shotgunned into undead pieces, comes inches from having his tail cut off and seconds from being fried by the sun, and kidnapped twice. Oh, yeah, and turned into a (shudder) politician. On the other paw, he does hook up with a sweet Siamese, and it looks like he's on the way to winning that election . . .

NYT bestselling author Tess Gerritsen says, "What a pleasure! Quirky and laugh-out-loud. Ray Rhamey takes the vampire novel where it’s never been before, into the realm of sheer hilarity.”

Midwest Book Review: “Just when you think that the vampire genre is pretty much exhausted and headed toward cookie-cutter, assembly line style repetition, along comes Ray Rhamey’s “The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles” to shake things up! Enthusiastically recommended for fans of the vampire genre — and anyone who would enjoy a terrifically original and thoroughly entertaining action/adventure fantasy yarn!"

Product Details

• Format: Kindle Edition
• File Size: 291 KB
• Print Length: 257 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0615261884
• Publisher: Flogging the Quill LLC; 1 edition (January 23, 2010)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0035RPFGO
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #312,205 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

More About the Author

Ray Rhamey was born and raised in Dallas, Texas. Leaving graduate school (psychology) at the University of Texas/Austin for the working world, he toiled in advertising/marketing communications for several decades, creating for national advertising clients and universities. Then he spent a few years working on scriptwriting in Hollywood. Then he took up editing and the writing of his blog on the craft of storytelling, "Flogging the Quill" (floggingthequill.com).

Now living in the Pacific Northwest and focused full-time on book editing and design (crrreative.com) plus writing (rayrhamey.com), Ray has published five books--nonfiction on writing, "Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells," and four novels: "The Summer Boy, a novel of Texas;" "We the Enemy," a speculative political thriller; "Finding Magic," contemporary fantasy; and "The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles," a humorous spoof of the vampire myth as told by a cat.

Ray has always been drawn to creative work, starting with a longtime desire to be a cartoonist and artist. He has done some cartooning, and now applies his visual talents to book cover and interior design, although he sees a graphic novel in his future. He loves mentoring other writers and does this by presenting workshops at writers' conferences.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars I tried..., February 26, 2010

By 

Elizabeth (United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles (Paperback)

I received an advance review copy of this book in December and eagerly started in on it, but about three chapters in, I had to set it aside. I glanced at it a few times in the past few months, the pressure to finish building like it was an overdue assignment, but I couldn't bring myself to pick it up again. Today I finally did.

I am a fan of Ray's Flogging the Quill: Crafting a Novel that Sells and I really wanted to like the vampire kitty cat story, I really did. But there was no joy for me. I searched hard for signs of the campy, quirky tale I'd hoped for, but all I got was a case of severe irritation.

Some of the major premises of the tale annoyed me so much they knocked me flat out of the story. The first sign of trouble for me was the severely-anthropomorphized protagonist. I couldn't make it past the first kitty high-five - I kept thinking of Toonces from the old SNL skits. The undead demanding their rights to social services and suing under the ADA to keep government offices open at night? Uhhh... no. Sorry. My left-brain self kept thinking about budgetary constraints. Arresting a cat and taking it before a judge? Really?

Plus, as the story went on, I had serious problems with the most of the main characters' flip-flopping between 'good' and 'evil' with little or no motivation just in time to create a new crisis. To me, these did not feel like part of the genuine, natural flow of the story arc. I don't think I once found myself 'lost in the story'.

I'm having a tough time pinpointing what was missing from this story for me. Maybe the style was way too stripped down, too matter-of-fact somehow, for the subject matter. I think maybe there is a huge disconnect between the wacky highjinks of the tale and the manner in which it was written, which was pretty bare-bones. The writing style was so simplistic that it almost felt like it was supposed to be a YA story, even though much of that material definitely was not. Another disconnect for me.

For the record, I read a lot of sci fi/fantasy and I enjoy a good vampire story. I usually have no problem suspending my disbelief if there is even a somewhat-reasonably-constructed framework for me to latch on to. But for whatever reason this story didn't provide that for me. I'm not a writer, but I know what I enjoy and I couldn't find a way to enjoy this, even though I really wanted to. And I'm sorry about that.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE THE BOOK!!!!!!!! SO FUNNY!!!!, February 19, 2011

By 

A Customer - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles (Kindle Edition)

i love this book, not only because of the new, fresh twist to the whole average vampire story, but because it is so funny! i would recomend this book to people of the younger age, but if you are an adult that just wants a light funny read, try the sample. patch gets turned into a vampire by a girl named meg, and the story is about how they deal with the whole proccess. there are lots of laugh out loud times, and it is a good deal for two dollars. i hope that my review can help you with your decision to buy the book, and if you do, it is worth you while!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars This One's Pure Fun, April 5, 2010

By 

Gary Bayer "Adventure Reader" (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles (Paperback)

There are lots of reasons to a read book. To learn something. To get wrapped up in a mystery or drama. To get insights into the cosmos. And, sometimes just for the pure fun of it. This one is for the pure fun. A terrific premise. (A vampire cat? With Groucho Marx sarcastic wit?) A fun cast of characters. (Including an over-the-top preacher who reveals phonies everywhere.) A non-stop plot involving vampires, phony wizardry and even a political campaign. (Complete with vampire fund raisers.) I enjoyed this from page one until the sun finally came up (kind of) for the vampire cat. You can try to find a moral here about prejudice or honesty or something -- but, for me, the pure fun was quite enough! Bring on book two, Mr. Rhamey!