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The Warlizard Chronicles: Adventures with Vodka, Women, & War Paperback – March 9, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 234 pages
  • Publisher: Warlizard Ink, LLC (March 9, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615461875
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615461878
  • Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 7.9 x 4.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (103 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,169,546 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

People always tell me I've had a crazy life and it's true. Every single time an opportunity was presented to me, I took it, good or bad. Sure, I went undercover to bust a guy selling C-4, but I also won a kissing contest, alienating the towns of Woodstock and Saugerties in the process. I jumped through every door with my eyes wide open, hoping for something fun on the other side. You don't do that, you may as well be dead.

About the Author

People always tell me I've had a crazy life and it's true. Every single time an opportunity was presented to me, I took it, good or bad. Sure, I went undercover to bust a guy selling C-4, but I also won a kissing contest, alienating the towns of Woodstock and Saugerties in the process. I jumped through every door with my eyes wide open, hoping for something fun on the other side. You don't do that, you may as well be dead.

More About the Author

People always tell me I've had a crazy life and it's true. Every single time an opportunity was presented to me, I took it, good or bad. Sure, I went undercover to bust a guy selling C-4, but I also won a kissing contest, alienating the towns of Woodstock and Saugerties in the process. I jumped through every door with my eyes wide open, hoping for something fun on the other side. You don't do that, you may as well be dead.

Customer Reviews

This book is full of grammatical mistakes!
Kawasaki
He gives advice, tells good stories, and makes you want to get out and enjoy your life.
Kb
I highly recommend this book to anyone that needs a good laugh.
cottontail

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By rockeh on March 13, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
You know that guy, a friend of a friend of yours, the one who always has all those crazy improbable stories that he tells at every party? Yeah, that guy. Warlizard is not that guy. Warlizard is the guy that guy got his stories from.

"The Warlizard Chronicles" is a collection of some of Warlizard's exploits, the sort of things that don't normally happen to people. But taht's because most people aren't like Warlizard. Most people tend to avoid situations which can land them in jail, the hospital, or in front of an altar (see "Leaving DLI" -- the short version is, in his own words: "I meet a girl, become her boyfriend, get engaged, get married, get divorced, and hook up with another girl, all within 4 hours.")

Upon reading this book, you may be inclined to call shenanigans. You may doubt the veracity of these hilarious tales. That's okay. Just read it as fiction. But let me tell you this: people like Warlizard exist, and the world is a better place for it. Or, at least, a more interesting one.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Back From Ashes on March 11, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
Having read this masterpiece I suggested it to my wife. Upon her completion of this book she now questions everything about me. I quote "What on earth made you think that I would like this" to which I replied...did you read the whole book? She answered with a yes. That is exactly why I suggested it. It's like a natural disaster. You can't take your eyes off the pages. It is fantastic, surreal, sickening and amazing all at once. How does one top that? This is a must read for anyone looking for an adventure that is so over the top that it would take a truly sick mind to make this kind of stuff up! Well done Warlizard...well done.
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful By TrumanZi on March 11, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
When reading this book the first thing you notice is how well it flows. Like a story being told over a pint in a pub it has an atmosphere of charm and the inappropriate.

Buy this book, its worth a read
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Debraz13 on March 15, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
I had met Warlizard on a forum site through reading some of his posts, all of which ended up getting me to crack a smile. We ended up commenting back and forth for a while and the guy seemed honestly pretty cool. Little did I know the awesomeness hiding behind the screen.

Skip to a few months later when he sends me a link asking me to review a autobiographical novel for him. Thinking to myself that this would probably be a trail in patience and a test in my editing skills I agreed. I figured, what the hell right, us internet creepers have to stick together. So, I poured myself a stout drink and started reading.

Now, I am a bit of an insomniac but when I looked up to see sunlight creasing the horizon I realized that the book was far from an infantile attempt at writing greatness. Warlizard has the uncanny ability of tailoring his writing style with the tone of conversation that you ease into at a bar with an old friend. The stories read smoothly and are varied enough to never bore from one to another. Needless to say, when I realized the time rather than go belatedly to bed I made myself some coffee.

The change in pace at about halfway when he goes to his "bad advice" from his personal stories is an interesting modification in delivery of his personality. It provides a more succinct message than the others and whether the logic is flawed you cannot help but feel swayed by his opinion.

I personally was affected by the book while reading it. A few short hours after having read his chapter "Always Buy a Ticket" I was chatting with a loose association in Baton Rouge where in the conversation she invited me to visit. Rather than justify the reasons not to I packed a small bag and left.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Sidzilla on March 12, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
And when it does, Warloizard can tell you about it in a way that will leave you laughing for hours.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By KingDork on March 11, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
This is awesome! Whether you're the type to sit down and read a whole book in one sitting or the type that will read chunks at a time, you'll love this book.

If you don't know what/whom Warlizard is, he started on a site and instantly had a huge following (myself included). Now, all those stories and more are all collected in one easy-to-follow spot without having to hunt. EPIC!

It's good! Buy it.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Dave on March 13, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
This book is worth way more than three dollars. It's as entertaining as anything I've read, and while it is certainly vulgar, offensive, and all sorts of other unsavory adjectives, to me it's been an inspiration to never miss an opportunity and never turn down a chance to make something happen.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Eli Coyle on March 16, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
From the moment of purcase to the last page, I couldn't put it down. A great read from an even greater writer. War can hold his own with a story, and his personal commentary adds to the book,making it feel like a great friend is telling you a story over a drink. Not to mention that he's just an awesme all-around guy, and definitely NOT from the Warlizard Gaming forum.
Long story short, this book rocks and it comes highly recommended by me.
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