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The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World Hardcover – August 25, 2009


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The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World + Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys + Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow (August 25, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0061707821
  • ISBN-13: 978-0061707827
  • Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.2 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #943,271 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Rao, a psychologist who has worked with young boys for two decades at Harvard Medical School as well as in private practice, claims that very young boys are being misdiagnosed with disorders such as ADHD and Asperger's and are often unnecessarily treated with medications that, he believes, should be a last resort (some boys, he notes, have even been thrown out of preschool for unruly behavior). With writer Seaton, Rao argues that many young boys who grab, kick, fidget, act out in school or refuse to make eye contact are simply being true to their brain development and hardwiring; in the vast majority of cases, Rao claims, these behaviors are healthy and normal, and shouldn't require medical intervention. The authors explain that boys do best with tactile, hands-on learning and more physical movement than most schools provide. Rather than rush to label and diagnose, Rao recommends a wait-and-see approach, noting that most behavior problems are temporary developmental glitches (with the exception of autism, which benefits from early intervention). Rao offers strategies parents can employ to help their youngsters learn to communicate, socialize and deal with anger and other issues. Though a bit heavy on the case studies, Rao's text is a valuable resource for readers determining whether to seek a medical diagnosis and a prescription or opt for a behavioral plan and a strong dose of patience. (Sept.)
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Review

“Rao deftly admonishes quick fix psychiatrists and anxious parents to more patiently deal with children’s growth and problems even if their youngsters are not developing at the speed of light...Rao’s practical book...is filled with case by case examples of children trying to find their way.” (Global Province: The Martketplace of Ideas)

“Parents are often overhwhelmed when struggling with the behavior of growing boys. Dr. Anthony Rao provides the kind of customized wisdom that comes from decades of clinical practice and—most important—success for boys at home and at school. This book is an invaluable contribution for those families in need.” (Jerome Groopman, MD, Racanati professor, Harvard Medical School; author of How Doctors Think)

“This book offers clear understanding of the various and varied ways boys grow and develop into healthy, well-adjusted adults. Many of the modern obstacles to this development—and the parental confusion they cause—fall away after one reads Dr. Rao’s compassionate, specific, problem-solving book.” (Michael Gurian, author of The Purpose of Boys)

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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I recommend this book for all parents, not just parents of boys.
tachi1
This book is very helpful in understanding developmental behaviors of young boys especially.
liz
I have found myself nodding to the author's common sense advice, backed up with research.
Mom to 2 boys

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Mom to 2 boys VINE VOICE on September 1, 2009
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
Being the mother of 2 very different little boys, I own plenty of books about child development and a few books on raising boys. This is, by far, the best book I have seen on raising boys. Not only does it explain how little boys are different (which many books do), but it gives extremely helpful advice about how to help boys practice social and emotional skills. I have found myself nodding to the author's common sense advice, backed up with research. Boys WILL be boys, darn it! As a society, we must stop overdiagnosing and overmedicating our young children. We must adjust our expectations. Not lower them, but adjust them to fit with the development of little boys.

I have found the book to be mainly geared to parents of young children (mostly ages 2-8 or so). However, I think this book would give mothers of any aged boy some extremely helpful background information on why boys act the way they do. They could also tailor the advice to fit older children.

Bravo!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Beth DeRoos HALL OF FAMETOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on August 31, 2009
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
This is one of the books I want every parent of a boy, friend of a family with a boy, teachers and simply concerned people to read.

It is rich beyond words with wisdom as well as common sense. Sure, as the Mom of a son and seven foster sons, I know boys and how special they are and how the politically correct and sexist backlash has effected young males. And how being physically active during the day and allowing boys to be boys and get dirty and sustain skinned knees and other badges of courage from playing sports, building forts, riding bikes can be better than all the expensive high tech gadgets.

Am so pleased the authors wrote extensively about how we label boys and have teachers who demand they be tested or drugged in order to control their boyness. My Mom was concerned about this back in the 70's when as a second grade teacher she saw 'experts' suggesting boys were hyperactive. She knew better since she had sons and six grandsons. and we lived in a neighborhood where I and one other girl were the two amongst dozens of great boys of all ages.

Buy a copy for your local library!!
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Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
This book completely surprised me because I agreed to accept a pre-publication review copy of this book from the Amazon Vine program and at the time didn't know much about the book other than the title and subtitle. I was thrilled at what the content actually was but worry that some readers who are looking for this information may not think the book is about that topic. My interest was to read a general parenting book about raising boys in this world that is so different than twenty years ago when I was a tween. I'm the mother of two boys aged 12 and 9 and thought maybe something here could be of use for me with my homeschooled boys (who do not have ADD or ADHD).

The book is written by a psychologist in private practice who works with families and especially, boys. In a nutshell the book is about the change in tide of our culture, namely, the re-labeling of what is normal boy behavior or a developmental glitch, a bit of a delay in maturation of young boys which has led parents, school teachers and pediatricians to label it an abnormality and seek prescription medication as a first line or only approach to stopping the behavior.

To be specific, this book is about the author's belief that too many children are being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and that too many are on prescription medications. In his practice, Dr. Rao uses behavior modification techniques with his patients including plans with parental involvement and sometimes also the school teacher's help to solve problems without the use of medication. The book discusses the various issues some boys may have and the root cause and the treatment plan (a behavior modification plan).

Something of interest to me is that Dr.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By katrin on August 27, 2009
Format: Hardcover
If you have young boys and have been worried sick about their energy level, their lack of focus or their tantrums... and then in the middle of the night a nagging voice says, but he's just normal, isn't he? Haven't boys always been like this??? then you should read this book. Trust your instincts. Often, your boy will grow out of his problems. Often, parents and doctors are making mountains out of molehills. Often, our boys don't need medication or punishment or tutoring, they just need TIME.

This book really helps put boys' behavior into perspective. It is calming and sensible. It will change many lives for the better.

Katrin Schumann, co-author Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too: Its Good to be a Little Selfish--It Actually Makes You a Better Mother
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By M. Lovett on January 3, 2011
Format: Paperback
A friend suggested this book after my almost 3 year old son was flagged by a well-intentioned but uninformed day care teacher as having possible developmental delays. After consulting 3 different experts - including a behavioral pediatrician who declared my son autistic after just one hour of observation but then retracted the diagnosis two weeks later - I felt like everyone was over reacting. In my heart, I knew my son was developing on track but felt pressured by his daycare teacher to get services for him. After just one session with an occupational therapist, she questioned why she was seeing my son. After just one session with a speech/social therapist, she also questioned why she was seeing my son. Of course the therapists were happy to keep taking my money, even though they both expressed doubt as to why my son was in need of their help. This book gave me the courage and reassurance to reclaim direction of my son's development. From literally the first page of this book, I felt massive amounts of relief for the first time this horrible saga started. Dr. Rao's book helped confirm what I knew in my heart all along - my son's only "problem" is that he is a B-O-Y. After reading this book, I "broke up" with all of my son's therapists - both of whom actually admitted they thought he didn't need their help, and one even said to me - "Well, I'm a hammer and everything looks like a nail to me." For any parent who has questioned whether their young son is truly autistic, read this book. Young boys in this country are facing an over-diagnosis of autism, ADD, and ADHD at near crisis levels. Dr. Rao talks some sense into that well-intentioned but hysterical over reacting. We live in the Bay Area where this hysteria is out of control.Read more ›
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