This excellent book, written by Temple Grandin, a Ph.D with an autistic spectrum disorder, is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand autism/Asperger's Syndrome, and for any parent who wants to maximize their ASD's child's potential for success - as an ASD adult. This book, however, is not about "curing" autism.
For that reason, I didn't enjoy Temple Grandin's writings years ago, when my now 11 year old son was first diagnosed with ASD. I didn't want to hear about a successful adult autistic person, I wanted to hear about adults and children who had been CURED of their autism.
Back then I believed that autism could be cured. I'd set goals - "he'll learn to talk, then he'll be fine." "I'll mainstream him in kindergarten, then he'll be fine." "I'll set up playdates for him, then he'll be fine." All these goals helped significantly, but he still has autism.
He'll always have autism. He is very intelligent, very "high functioning", but he looks at, and perceives the world in such an "Aspie" way. And now that I've fully accepted that, I want to know how to help him have a full, meaningful, and productive life.
The book is a collection of short, insightful essays grouped under various headings, such as "Diagnosis and Early Intervention", "Teaching and Education", "Adult Issues and Employment", and so on.
Grandin really hammers home the importance of early intervention, of getting an ASD child to connect to the real world. She doesn't insist on certain interventions such as ABA or Floor Time, as much as she insists on keeping the child tuned in at least 40 hours a week.
She also insists on high expectations, even for young children who may be non-verbal. Non-verbal does not mean unintelligent - she describes the fascinating story of Tito, a non-verbal austic man who can type for short focused bursts and thereby provide glimpses into his beautiful mind.
Grandin says ASD children "need to be exposed to many different things to stimulate their continued learning in different areas of life. There also need to be expectations for proper social behaviors....my mother made me do a number of things I did not like, but these activities were really beneficial."
The book includes a number of essays on strategies for motivating kids, enhancing problem solving and flexibility, and coping with the numerous sensory issues that people with ASD must contend with.
And Grandin writes extensively on the importance of obsessions - how they can be harnessed as motivating factors, used to expand learning in other areas, become channels for friendships, and so on. But on the other hand, it is perfectly acceptable to limit the time a child spends on his/her obsession because it can also become a distraction from learning other necessary skills.
She also discusses behavior issues, and how behavior doesn't occur in a vacuum - it is the end result of an interaction between a child and his/her environment, including the people in it. So she says that if a child's behavior is horrible, that parents may need to change their own behavior first before they change their child's behavior, a la Jo Frost the supernanny. In addition, bad behaviors need consistent and meaningful discipline.
The book also includes chapters on socialization, drug therapies (she has taken an antidepressant for over 25 years), and employment. I found all of these chapters extremely interesting, particularly the one on employment. Many intelligent ASD adults have problems holding jobs. She feels that is more true nowadays than it was years ago - she has worked with many older people she classifies as ASD. She believes this trend is directly related to modern parenting.
She emphasizes how important it is for high functioning ASD kids to get used to doing things they don't want to do. "As I see it, some of the problems these teenagers and adults exhibit - being constantly defiant and not doing what the boss tells them -- goes back to not learning as children that compliance is required in certain situations. They never learned when they were six or eight that sometimes you have to do things that parents want you to do, such as going to church or having good table manners. You may not have liked it, but you still did it."
As a parent, it is 10 times more difficult to teach your ASD child an appropriate behavior than it is your typically developing child, but it is also 10 times more important. My daughter can accidentally break a rule, then read the situation and explain/apologize whatever is necessary to diffuse the situation. My ASD son can't do this -- he is his own worst enemy sometimes, because he lacks that ability to read others and see which response is the most appropriate, and so he inadvertently escalates things. He needs explicit social skills training.
Grandin is incredibly blunt, too, about the role parents have in getting their kids ready for the world. "Parents hold primary responsibility in making sure their children learn basic skills that will allow them to function within society as adults. This may sound harsh, but there's just no excuse for children growing into adults who can't do even basic things like set a table, wash their clothes, or handle money. We all make choices in our lives, and choosing to make the time for a child with Asperger's to learn functional skills should be at the top of every parent's priority list."
Grandin should be forgiven for not empathizing, at least a little, with the challenges facing parents who are raising a child/children with ASD, and possibly other children as well, and all of the other pressing and valid demands of modern life. She is writing on behalf of KIDS with autism, after all. And her point still remains incredibly valid -- as difficult and challenging as our children can be sometimes, we OWE it to them to give them the life skills they need to cope and deal with the real world.
In order to make them receptive to learning, we may have to address the sensory issues and anxiety issues first, through SI integration, diet, therapy, medication, etc... - but we still have to figure out how to teach them. We can't give up on them, or leave them to the experts, we have to keep trying, so that they, too, will keep trying.
Temple Grandin is quoted in the introduction as saying "I'm the person I am today because of all the experiences I've had, and the opportunities those experiences offered me to learn, little by little. It wasn't easy; sometimes it was really difficult. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I just kept going until I got it right. And I'm still learning today! That's what I want other people on the spectrum to learn: You just can't give up. You have to keep trying."
Well anyway, I love this book for giving me some real insight into what I need to do to help my son be an independent, fulfilled adult. Highly recommended.
