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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire [Kindle Edition]

David Deida
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (464 customer reviews)

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Book Description

The Ultimate Spiritual Guide for Men

What is your true purpose in life? What do women really want? What makes a good lover? If you're a man reading this, you've undoubtedly asked yourself these questions-but you may not have had much luck answering them. Until now.

In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida explores the most important issues in men's lives-from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality and relationships-to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. Join this bestselling author and internationally renowned expert on sexual spirituality for straightforward advice, empowering skills, body practices, and more to help you realize a life of fulfillment, immediately and without compromise.

"It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart," writes David Deida. "It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine." The Way of the Superior Man presents the ultimate challenge-and reward-for today's man: to discover the 'unity of heart and spine' through the full expression of consciousness and love in the infinite openness of the present moment.

 

Contents

Part One:  A Man's Way
Part Two:  Dealing With Women
Part Three:  Working With Polarity and Energy
Part Four:  What Women Really Want
Part Five:  Your Dark Side
Part Six:  Feminine Attractiveness
Part Seven:  Body Practices
Part Eight:  Men's and Women's Yoga of Intimacy

 

Excerpt:

This book is a guide for a specific kind of newly evolving man.  This man is unabashedly masculine-- he is purposeful, confident, and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor-- and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.

This newly evolving man is not a scared bully, posturing like some King Kong in charge of the universe.  Nor is he a new age wimp, are spineless, smiley, and starry-eyed.  He has embraced both his inner masculine and feminine, and he no longer holds onto either of them.  He doesn't need to be right all the time, nor does he need to always be safe, cooperative, and sharing, like an androgynous Mr. Nice Guy.  He simply lives from his deepest core, fearlessly living his gifts, feeling through the fleeting moment into the openness of existence, totally committed to magnifying love.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I keep giving this book away; I think I've owned 30 different copies already. I tend to pass it out to anybody, man or woman, who has made a commitment to-or even has a passing interest in-the art of loving. David Deida gets it, like no one I've ever read, and he writes about it forcefully, honestly, and downright poetically."
-Michael Tucker, actor and author

"The Way of the Superior Man is quite wonderful. Finally, a guide for the noncastrated male. This book will offend and infuriate some, inspire and test others, but challenge virtually everybody. I found it wise, insightful, occasionally brilliant, and always resourceful. To transcend the body-mind means to transcend and include its sexuality, not transcend and evaporate it. Few are the books that discuss strong sexuality within strong spirituality, instead of tepid sexuality diluted by a mediocre spiritual stance. This book steps straightforwardly into the challenge. Love it or loathe it, it is a shout from the heart of one perspective of the eternal masculine."
-Ken Wilber, author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; No Boundary; and Grace and Grit

"At last! A book that explains the heart and soul of a woman to men. As a woman, I've never felt so understood and validated. This book is a key to helping men and women take their relationships one step further. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships."
-Marci Shimoff, co-author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul

"The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. I invite you to live in the moment, to love openly, and to step up to the plate with this book in your hand."
-Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

"David's work speaks to the core of our work as men. He offers a bold view of men, and challenges us to stand up and lay claim to the beauty and power of the masculine. He does not advocate superiority as in 'superiority to women.' He speaks of superiority as the Greeks might. The challenge is strictly internal. The invitation is to rise above our mediocrity, to let go of making excuses for our own laziness, to stop apologizing for who we are, and to stop blaming others or our childhood for how we've become. He asks that we step into the fullness of our being-intense, focused, powerful, clear. And directly connected to our hearts."
-Dennis Mead-Shikaly, Executive Director: The ManKind Project / New Warrior Network

About the Author

David Deida is internationally renowned for his revolutionary insights into mens and womens consciousness and his commitment to deepening genuine spiritual and sexual practice. Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative spiritual teachers of our time, Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually.  Deida is known worldwide as the author of hundreds of essays, audiotapes, videotapes, articles, and books that bring to light an integral approach to spirituality.  His books include the best-selling underground classic, The Way of the Superior Man; several practical texts on authentic sexual spirituality, including Finding God Through Sex and Blue Truth, and the autobiographical novel about highly unconventional spiritual training, Wild Nights.

David Deida's books are published in more than twenty-five languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses, source texts used in men's and women's groups around the world, and are considered important resources for spiritual transformation and sacred sexuality by everyone from achievement coach Tony Robbins to philosopher Ken Wilber to minister and spiritual spokeswoman Marianne Williamson.


Product Details

  • File Size: 779 KB
  • Print Length: 218 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1591792576
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004A8ZWM4
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,824 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
142 of 163 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Lots of good, lots of bad June 30, 2012
By Janus
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
First of all, if I wasn't already familiar with the good ideas in this book, I would have summarily dismissed the whole thing as feel-good spiritual nonsense. Deida's writing looks like mine when I just start writing what I feel without really trying to make any logical sense. The effect on me while reading was that even though I knew in my head that the words were gibberish, I knew exactly what he was trying to say and which important concepts he was trying to impart. It was an odd experience.

The good:
- Not only does the book start from the premise that there IS a desirable middle ground between being a timid wuss of a man-boy and being a knuckle-dragging, chauvinistic thug; the whole book attempts to be a manual on how to become that middle ground. I would say it's even a good start at succeeding.
- Emphasis on living in pursuit of your own purpose. Not your dad's, not your girlfriend's, not that of disembodied pop culture. Yours.
- The fundamental principle of giving to the world instead of taking.
- The focus on rooting out insecurity.
- The discussions about fundamental differences between masculine and feminine. If you take away nothing other than the realization that there are in fact big differences, the book is worth the read.
- Discussions on things like ego death, living consciously, and the notion of "emptiness." These are basically repackaged Buddhist and samurai concepts. They aren't new, but they are important.

The bad:
- If I read the words "truth" or "love" one more time I thought I might try to reach through my Kindle and choke the author. I disagree with the top positive reviewer: the writing got repetitive VERY quickly.
- The spiritual slant of the writing probably alienates a lot of readers, including me.
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48 of 58 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I first saw this book on my husband's bookshelf before we were married, and I borrowed and read it. My thoughts at the time: Wow, if this man really believes and lives the principles in this book, he is the one for me! Four years of married bliss and a 3-year-old child later, I still think this. David Deida's basic premise: there is a "Way of the Superior Man" that both includes and transcends the "tough" concept of masculinity of our ancestors, and the "sensitive man" concept of more recent years, that frees a man to be both powerful and purposeful, and also feeling and spiritually alive. This has profound effects in all areas of a man's life from work to sex to relationships with women. I can attest to the value of this premise from my husband's success in his career, our marriage/sexual relationship, and as a father and a spiritual being. Being a superior man is not necessarily an easy path, but hugely rewarding. I highly recommend this book to women as well as Deida's books "Dear Lover" and "It's a Guy Thing" to better understand healthy masculine/feminine dynamics and deepen their relationships with men.

For those who feel an author must be "credentialed" (MD or PhD or whatever) to offer this type of advice, or who are looking for hard data research to back up the claims he makes, this book may disappoint. I would just encourage such readers to suspend judgement long enough to give the book a read, take what they find to ring true and useful and leave the rest. There is a lot of value here, and I have found it to be "proven" in my own experience with men and as a woman.
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148 of 192 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The Way of the Dysfunctional Relationship July 16, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I read this book after seeing it enthusiastically recommended by various sources online, with some ringing endorsements from a few people, like Ken Wilbur, who I respect. I bought it in spite of knowing that it's big with the PUA community. I was very excited to get the chance to read it, but I must admit that I was extremely disappointed. I never sell my books to the used bookstore when I'm finished, but with this one I just might.

As others have pointed out, Deida has no real professional credentials to fall back on, and his official bio is vague. He considers himself "an entertainer," much like the scam artists who masquerade as "gurus" in other fields. His book comes across as little more than the egotistical blovating of a narcissist who's out to bilk his followers for all the love and attention he can get by regurgitating quasi-spiritual pablum.

Deida's prose is sometimes called "poetic," which is a nice way of saying that he's cheesy, vague, and likes to spout trite New Age cliches as if they were ancient wisdom. This was an immediate turnoff as I began reading. What do phrases like "give your gift" mean, exactly? I still don't know, even after seeing this phrase repeated several hundred times.

There are also a ton of problems with Deida's "masculine/feminine polarity" thesis. Yes, there is something like that going on in relationships between men and women, but Deida's concept is far over reaching and very msyogonistic. For exmple, his "feminine essence" is embodied in a woman who's young and physically attractive... and a mindless basketcase of flighty emotions totally incapable of consistency or controlling herself.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
recommended by a radio talk show host in seattle. this book is pure rubbish!
Published 16 hours ago by Vance A. Carroll
3.0 out of 5 stars insightfull yet repetitive
Good information with deep insight...but the concept or logic will repeat itself after several chapters. Read more
Published 3 days ago by Javy
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow.
David just plain nails it. Raw, loving, honest. Any man can benefit from this book, if he's willing to take off the masks and truly live his core purpose. Read more
Published 7 days ago by Greg Ory
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommend
Yes some of what the author offers is a little 'out there' but I would gauge 85%+ to be spot on. I've referred back to it a few times, and lately have been meaning to re-read it... Read more
Published 8 days ago by SSPEDN
5.0 out of 5 stars game changer for all guys to read
At 1st I thought it was to black and white masculine feminine, not it has become a go to source for guidance
When in fear or doubt. Read this book
Published 9 days ago by pollypharmacy
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great book
Published 9 days ago by Gerardo
5.0 out of 5 stars Yes
I read with interest the negative reviews of this book. They seemed most concerned with the author's lack of academic credentials, and with this book's supposed... Read more
Published 9 days ago by T. Bachman
4.0 out of 5 stars This was an excellent read for me it helped me make some difficult ...
This was an excellent read for me it helped me make some difficult decisions regarding work, women and sexual desires. Read more
Published 9 days ago by ricky hodges
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing! (and I'm a woman!!)
I felt like this book really, really got IT. I have previously been a woman who operated mostly out of the masculine for fear that being feminine was a liability - I now feel... Read more
Published 13 days ago by Anna
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
A great approach to life.
Published 13 days ago by sdgolf
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More About the Author

Known internationally for his unique workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy, Deida has designed and developed a remarkably effective program of transformative practices that fully addresses spiritual awakening in mind, body, and heart. He is a founding associate of Integral Institute and has taught and conducted research at the University of California Medical School in San Diego; University of California, Santa Cruz; San Jose State University; Lexington Institute, Boston; and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France.

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