The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love [Paperback]

bell hooks (Author)

Book Description

Release date: December 21, 2004

Everyone needs to love and be loved -- even men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves -- and lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been the exclusive province of women. A brave and astonishing work, The Will to Change is designed to help men reclaim the best part of themselves.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A companion to We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity, hooks's 23rd book for adults is a fierce, quirky denunciation of patriarchy and a clarion call to the uncommitted to align themselves with visionary radical feminism. In 12 slim chapters, hooks examines the stages of a man's life, from babyhood through boyhood to the teenage years into manhood. She finds patriarchy plays a role in most socio-sexual ills, as boys and men seek alienating sex as a substitute for the love that often seems, because of demands on families that destroy them or keep them from forming, unavailable to men: "Sex, then, becomes for most men a way of self-solacing. It is not about connecting to someone else but rather releasing their own pain." The men who can lead us out of patriarchal chains are "men of color from poor countries, men who live in exile, men who have been victimized by imperialist male violence"-the Dalai Lama for example. While she calls Will Smith films such as Men in Black and Independence Day tools of the patriarchy, hooks saves her big guns for J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books, scornfully exposing them as foisted on us by "rich white American men" and no more than updated version of the British schoolboy books that fueled the fantasies of Victoria's empire. A better book to buy for children, she suggests, might be her own recent Be Bop Buzz. Hooks is always readable, but her takes on mass media here have a retro ring to them.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

George Weinberg author of Why Men Won't Commit Compelling study of the culture's unfairness to men.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Washington Square Press (December 21, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743456084
• ISBN-13: 978-0743456081
• Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #272,625 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Bell Hooks is a cultural critic, feminist theorist, and writer. Celebrated as one of our nation's leading public intellectual by The Atlantic Monthly, as well as one of Utne Reader's 100 Visionaries Who Could Change Your Life, she is a charismatic speaker who divides her time among teaching, writing, and lecturing around the world. Previously a professor in the English departments at Yale University and Oberlin College, hooks is now a Distinguished Professor of English at City College and the Graduate Center of the City University of New York. She is the author of more than seventeen books, including All About Love: New Visions; Remembered Rapture: The Writer at Work; Wounds of Passion: A Writing Life; Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood; Killing Rage: Ending Racism; Art on My Mind: Visual Politics; and Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life. She lives in New York City.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An evolutionary revolutionary work September 25, 2004

By BookLover

Format:Hardcover

"The Will to Change" by bell hooks is one of the best books I have ever read. bell hooks gets to the heart of the ways in which most of us (men and women, people of all classes and races) are harmed by patriarchy, as well as exposing the ways in which we unconsciously replicate it in our personal lives. Her ideas are big enough to include all people who are struggling with division, oppression, and/or general un-wholeness and unhappiness, not just women. She suggests that the way to freedom is for us to love each other and support each other on our journies to wholeness. She clearly and consistently frames the struggle as one of hurting people yearning to be whole and free. This is a theory that is accessible to everyone - anyone who searches their heart, or just observes the society around them, can see that what she says is true. As a feminist who is married and loves men, I found her advice to be full of wisdom, with a refreshing lack of intellectual elitism.

After reading this wonderful work, I am more convinced than ever that heart and soul are the primary components of our future evolutionary path. Hats off to you, ms. hooks!

44 of 54 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars a feminist assessment of patriarchal masculinity January 2, 2004

By Jeffery Mingo

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

bell hooks states that feminists have not discussed how to improve the lives of men and this is her attempt. In 11 chapters, she details her ideas that men must be open to feminism and feminists must be open to men, that patriarchal masculinity is the problem, not males, and that much harm comes to the life of boys.

Professional critics have called this book that non-race-based equivalent to "We Real Cool." However, I'd say it's the male counterpart to hooks' "Communion." This book is an ideal tool for feminist women raising sons. It also may be a good introduction to feminism for progressive men or men who want to be progressive. hooks cites many canonical men's studies texts and progressive books on boys and men that many readers will find useful. (Again, it's a shame that this book lacks a bibliography, just like most of her most recent works.)

While this book discusses romantic love, that type of relationship is not the main issue here. Readers that have already heard enough about hooks' views on love from her autobiographies and recent works will find this refreshing. Many loving dynamics are detailed here. Most importantly, hooks discusses the troubles faced by little boys. I'm impressed that a childless writer is so devoted to children. This almost reminded me of Rosie O'Donnell's autobiography the way a grown woman is so concerned about minors.

I would say that I have three major complaints/critiques of her book. First, as much as she constantly assesses and promotes feminism, what comes through is that anti-oppression books can help men. Her gender analysis just happens to be her angle. A civil rights activist could have said that organizing could help men or a Communist discussing anti-classism could make the same argument that hooks makes here.... Thinking about justice, breaking out of boundaries, and imagining utopias has never been the work of just feminists.

Second, hooks critiques feminist self-help books for not discussing politics and the larger superstructure. However, the majority of self-help books, even ones that she cites, are apolitical. She needs to critique the whole genre if she is going to find so many individual examples unsatisfying. People who feel that hooks was too hard on Naomi Wolf will be equally surprised at how she goes after Susan Faludi here.

Third, recently, everytime bell hooks mentions sexual orientation issues, she starts off with "Lesbians and gay men can be as conservative as anyone else, but here's one bit of info that I find useful from their activism......" If a white person started every comment on race with "People of color can be just as conservative as anyone else, but...." or a class-privileged person said, "Some poor people deserve the barrel they are in, but here's what I find useful on class-based activism....", etc., hooks would be livid, yet she does it with gays. I understand hooks' point that gays are just people just like straights. However, her statements are somewhat course and insensitive. I think this flaw still highlights how bell hooks has continually marginalized issues of sexual orientation while she champions issues of race, class, and gender. Her recent ability to add imperialism to the mix shows she can build on her theorizing, so her stance on gay rights is incredibly problematic. There's a great chapter in Carbrado's "Black Men on Race, Gender, and Sexuality" that discusses hooks' shortcoming.

At the end of almost every chapter, hooks presents cultural criticism. Her subjects are broad including the Harry Potter series, the film "Life as a House," and other popular works. I am curious as to whether she is trying to satisfy her fans that are most familiar with her cultural studies work. I wonder if she is trying to prove that her new march toward self-help writing is not meant to show she has lost her cult crit skills. Coming from an African-American woman who almost always discusses black issues, this book was pretty light on race matters. African-American readers, like myself, looking for that topic will find that the only chapter that is the exception is "Popular Culture: Media Masculinity." I applaud hooks for pointing out and proving that black authors have an array of writing interests.

Like always, this book is annoyingly repetitive. hooks comes close to admitting this in her introduction. If I remember correctly, she seemed reluctant to discuss domestic violence and war in her classic text "Talking Back." Now, she has taken those problems as a centerpiece of her work. The cover of this book shows that Renaissance painting where God's finger points down toward Man's (this was the basis for the cover to "E.T.," btw). The cover has a pretty shade of blue. I think readers will find the cover quite inviting. Read more ›

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars MEN WHO WANT AUTHENTIC healthy relationships MUST READ. . Changed my perspective on the world and my relationship for the better May 29, 2011

By Daniel Boutros

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Great book. This needs to be recommended reading for all men. I'll probably give my son this when he's a teenager.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Relevant and Unique April 13, 2008

By Flannery

Format:Hardcover

I am a big bell hooks fan. I consider Feminism is for Everyone to be essential reading for the budding "women's libber" (haha gotta love a throw back). This book delivered as expected even though it did not inspire me to the extent that hooks' previously mentioned work did. I appreciated her analysis of patriarchial male culture. Hooks' choice of words gets straight to the point. She never apologizes for her opinion but at the same time her work shows an astounding amount of forgivness. Hooks' understands that nobody trapped within in the confines of a patriarchal society can be fully well. Though some benefit from this construct of oppression, ultimately nobody wins. The empathy that Hooks' expresses towards men that have hurt her in the past is prove positive that she is a member of the rare group of authors who posses the ability to put their conflicting views on paper without sounding indecisive. Hooks' dreams of a world free of oppression. Her believe that we CAN transform our toxic culture into one that nurtures all of the people that it surrounds, is uplifting. Hooks' work inspires discussion. She clearly states her opinion but remains open to dissenting views. Her critique of the Harry Potter books is not to be missed (I KNEW there was a reason that I never liked that series)! This book has something for everyone. All people would benefit from reading it.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Totally Amazing April 28, 2009

By C.O.

Format:Hardcover

This book is incredible and bell hooks does an amazing job on critically analyzing the construction of masculinity in our culture. Defining the differnce between Patriachal Masculinity and Masculinity bell hookds articulates the amazing and critical roles masculinity plays in our culutre and the numerous ways that patriachry has prevented men and women from fullfilling their deepest desires in this world, which is the desire to love and be loved. This book has forever changed the way that I view and cherish masculinity, it is a must read.

5.0 out of 5 stars How to transform rape culture February 12, 2013

By Max Golding

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Rape culture is constructed on strange beliefs about love, or no beliefs about them at all. For rape culture to transform, if we want to see those numbers go down, the statistics change, the healing for survivors of sexual assaults to go down, we need to start with healing for the perpetrators. Mostly the perpetrators are men, who have been brainwashed to think of love as something we must take. This book will blow your mind.