Customer Reviews

Theodore Rex [VHS]

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Watching this film sober - and even under the influence - is like giving birth out of your ear while simultaneously having a stroke, getting a root canal, and walking in on your parents having sex. In your bed. And as you walk in on them, you step on a rake and it hits you in the face and drives a splinter into your eye.

Yet at the same time it triggers a visceral, masochistic response somewhere deep inside, and you can't help but take pleasure in every mind-numbing attempt at a joke, every sudden idiotic plot twist, and every glimpse of Whoopi's gross spandexed rumpus.

A real treat.

Turning Edmund Morris's 500+ page book on the presidency of Theodore Roosevelt into a 90-minute feature film was surely a Herculean task, but the makers of "Theodore Rex" rose to the occasion. Granted, some things are lost in translation, such as Roosevelt's masterful handling of the coal miner's strike, and his controversial actions in regards to securing the Panama Canal, but for the most part, the important details (talking dinosaurs) remain intact. A wonderful tribute to the life and accomplishments of our 26th president.

This flic is high in the running for worst movie ever. If you are a fan of the cinematic disaster this film is every bit the contemporary of Battle Field Earth, Leonard Part 6, etc. You really feel sorry for Whoopie Goldberg (whom desperately did not want to make this movie -- she was forced to in a lawsuit).

Also makes a great gag gift :)

...on whether you have a brain-numbing fever or have just consumed an entire pan of your Aunt Edna's marijuana brownies. If your brain proteins are falling apart or the pan was large enough, then yes, it can be a fun good-bad movie. Just think Plan 9 From Outer Space with Whoopie in spandex pants. If not, then think big dude in dinosaur suit wearing spandex.

This movie is as bad as everyone says. Boy, I wouldn't want this on my resume, but obviously Whoopi didn't care.

That said, I disagree with people who say, "It's so bad it's good." If that is true, you should be giving it one star. People who want bad movies are looking for one-star films.

And people who think "poor Whoopi" should remember 1) She cashed the check, 2) She lives in a mansion, and 3) Stars are associated with the properties they are in, and that's part of the arrangement she knew about and has profited from, so it is fair to hold her accountable for junk like this. In doing this movie she was ripping off moviegoers, even if she didn't think so. This is a comment on soft-hearted reviewers, not the movie.

Still, I got my money's worth in renting a wretched piece of Hollywood excrement on purpose to laugh at it.

I'm guessing Whoopie Goldberg's really embarrassed by this movie. I can really feel the same way, because this poor excuse of a movie absolutely FAILS. "Theodore Rex" is about a talking dinosaur who eats only cookies . . . COOKIES?! Did they have to make it all so kid-friendly?! Well, I guess so, since this film does look like it was targeted for people under the age of 6. Anyway, Theodore pairs up with Whoopie, who stars as a fearless detective, into finding out who's killing innocent dinosaurs here and there.

Forget about the plot. Forget about the characters. In fact, forget about this entire movie. There's nothing good going here. Even the music goes to waste. Not as awful as Batman and Robin, but it's still awful in many levels.

Grade: F

These reviews that claim this movie is so bad its good are going way overboard with that one. This movie does not have the guilty pleasure badness that Leonard Part 6, Battlefield Earth and Gigli had. Those movies were entertaining in their awfulness but this pile of dinosaur dung is so bad its painful. I haven't been in this much pain watching a bad movie since I watched Baby Geniuses and Superbabies. Before I start the review let me tell you the story. Theodore Rex is a $35 million dollar bust The New Line Cinema refused to put in theaters. They cut the losses sending it straight to video making it the most expensive straight-to-video movie in decades. Whoopi caved in to be in this disaster after a huge paycheck.

Plot: a millionaire clones dinosaurs so he can launch missiles at the sun which would kill mankind and start another Ice Age. A female cop named Katie Coltrane and an idiotic dinosaur named Theodore Rex reluctantly team up to stop him after the death of a buddy dinosaur.

The plot is given to you in the beginning of the movie which robs the movie of all its mystery. Then you have to deal with the fact that this movie is actually quite awful. Whoopi looks agitated and is trying to wing it with her performance but to no avail. Theodore Rex is flat out annoying and his bumbling behavior wears thin after five minutes on screen. Most of the jokes revolve around him threatening to bite people and hitting people with his tail(on accident and on purpose). I thought Burglar was bad but it takes a backseat to Theodore Rex: the worst movie of Whoopi's career.

Dont let anybody tell you this monstrosity is bad enough to be enjoyable. I didnt see that when I watched this movie. All I saw was a train wreck that was written by people that must have had some sick admiration for movie Howard The Duck. The humor is on that level and Theodore Rex looks like the inbred cousin of Barney. Utterly painful from start to finish.

I pretty sure there's only one good moment in this film, and it's with "the guy from the bag." I bought this movie just for that. Overall, its definitely one of those late night, I need to get to sleep, but would like to watch something as my mind drones on, kind of films. Don't buy it unless, like me, you REALL REALLY REALLY want it, just to watch that part over and over. lmao :)

Whoopi Goldberg, Oscar-winner and co-host of ABC-TV's The View, stars in the 1996 family comedy Theodore Rex. In this film, Goldberg plays a police officer in the distant future investigating a murder, when she is partnered with talking T-Rex named Teddy(voiced by George Newbern, Justice League), they started off by driving each other crazy but eventually they work together to stop an evil plot by a madman to start another ice age. This DVD includes a trailer of the film and trailers of other New Line family films. Theodore Rex is perfect for kids and grown-ups to enjoy. FYI Whoopi had since regretting appearing in this movie, I did not see why, this is a hilarious film. :)

I ordered the DVD because we had the tape years ago when the kids were little. Woopie was not at her funniest, but the movie appealed somewhat to the kid in me. I've seen worse, I've seen better.