Customer Reviews

There Must Be More Than This: Finding More Life, Love and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addictions

5 star:		(31)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I am skeptical of "Psychobabble" self help books but this
was an exception. Ms Wright's approach is practical and
workable. I realized quickly what situations triggered
my soft addictions, like checking my email every minute or
so. The book provided techniques for being aware of what
situations trigger the zone out mode that characterizes
soft addictions. Instead of drifting unconsciously into
fiddling around on email, checking discussion boards or
bids on ebay, I can step back and ask myself "What are you
avoiding by doing this?" The technique has definitely cut
my time wasting.

Lisa N

If you feel adrift and dissatisfied in life, Judith Wright's "There Must Be More than This" may be just what you need. Ms. Wright is co-founder of the Wright Institute for Lifelong Learning where people learn to fulfill their potential in all areas of their lives -- work, relationships, self and spirit. She offers you new ways of thinking about life and new ways to behave. These could make a world of a difference. The core of this approach is that you are thoroughly coached on how to make "the One Decision." The process is one of soul-searching and commitment in which you discover what you really hunger for in life and begin reorienting your thinking, feeling and behaviour. The One Decision becomes your rudder in the stormy seas of life. By giving you a firm "heading" your commitment becomes the foundation for a new, conscious, purposeful life. Once you make your One Decision, then you can begin studying your life and eliminating your "soft addictions." Soft addictions, simply, are patterns of feeling, thinking or behaving that keep you from experiencing what you really hunger for in life. Examples are excessive TV watching, Internet, video games, compulsive reading, over-exercising and indulging in moods that distract you from the beauty of life that lies around us. None of these is necessarily a "soft addiction." The test is what effect they have on your search for what you hunger for in life. By helping you to find a purpose for your life and to redefine thinking that does not work for you, this book can help you to make a breakthrough by building a new, more complete life. Its usefulness is enhanced because it contains the stories of many people who have successfully used this approach to build a far richer life. Just by reading these stories carefully, you can begin to understand the power of this method and can gain increased commitment to fulfilling your One Decision. There seems to me to be follow-up work that you may also do after reading this book. Ms. Wright hints at it, but has not yet helped you to go deeper. Several times, Ms. Wright hints that her clients have decided to meditate. That is, of course, a time-honoured way to find purpose in life by accepting sheer being, without any need to "do" anything. In my life, meditation provided a direct experience of what can only weakly be described as the God within. Meditation led me to experiences that go beyond words. It also produced visions and insights that sprung from the depths of my being and have provided an anchor that does not require that I create a verbal definition. I hope Ms. Wright will fill this gap by producing a follow-up book on self-discovery through meditation.

There are some interesting ideas presented here. However it isn't a book for everyone: it is written from a devout Christian point of view.

If the authors were more clear about that on the cover and in the description, then that would be fine. But there weren't any clues until I started reading the text.

Here's an example from page 139: "We are meant to be addicted to God, but we develop secondary addictions that temporarily appear to fix our problem."

As an alternative, I'd suggest an awareness practice. They tend to be based on the same core material, and can work hand-in-hand with any set of spiritual beliefs.

Who'd have thought I could be "addicted" to my gloomy moods? This book helped me understand something I always knew but couldn't articulate: I want more out of life, and don't know how to get it. Or at least I didn't know how before I read the book. With everyone around me seeming to be chronically cynical or lazy or despairing about how anything could be different, who was I to be wanting more? Judith Wright's book identifies that yearning as a "spiritual hunger" and explains it in a way that helps me feed that hunger and feel more fulfilled. I have practicied the "seemingly harmless habits" of soft addictions like daydreaming through stacks of catalogs or eating to feel better or going over and over in my head about what I should have done. And now I see those habits for what they are: distractions from feelings. Through anecdotes and exercises, this book will shift your thinking, and put you on a path toward making bettter choices about how you spend your time. It will help you stop wasting time on things that are unfulfilling, and start living a life filled with what really matters.

I have read my share of self-help books. And with each one, I have found a cache of concepts and ideas but little guidance for a practical application that would really impact my life. "There Must Be More Than This" is a true exception. Certainly, the concepts (and realities) of "soft addictions" and "stinking thinking" may at first seem to be both too obvious and too overwhelming to even begin to consider conquering them. But, I found Wright's approach to offer an amazingly simple process for me to stay conscious, aware, and responsible of my choices and the effect that they have on my world and how I experience it. While the section on the costs of remaining unconscious to our soft addictions was maybe the most eye-opening and valuable, my favorite chapter was "Fulfilling Your Spiritual Hungers." Simple and profound at the same time, it left me sold on Judith Wright's message and wondering what life would have been like if my `true' hungers had been what counted all along; and then, the thought "what if they counted now?" Now that I have finished reading this book, it's seems crazy to want life to be any other way.

This book makes such big changes seem natural and easy. The truth of Judith's Math of More is apparent to me as I survey my life-- I have only ever given up a deeply ingrained bad habit by replacing it with something more fulfilling. I am starting to put these practiced into my life in a conscious way, and looking forward to the results!

Picking up this book and reading any page has been helpful for me to connect with myself and to other people. I have noticed my mood becoming lighter from reading it. I love the message, especially since I work inthe substance abuse field - everything we do to cover up our feelings that prevents us from being with ourselves can be seen as an addiction. And it is the human condition - not just hard drugs or alcohol are addictions. I think the sooner that we see this, the sooner we can feel less ashamed and be able to "come clean" about the crazy stuff we do.
This book has really helped me in my personal life and as an addictions counselor in terms of having more love and compassion and purpose in my life.

I'm an engineer, a manager, and a guy and I have to admit that I'm not always open to "touchy feely" approaches to solving problems. This book talks about "soft addictions," the idea of which at first seemed a little fuzzy to me until I learned what they are and started seeing how prevalent they are in both my workplace and my own life. Eating junk food, drinking 10 cans of diet soda, working late just because it's easier to stay than to leave, and totally zoning out on the internet. These things waste time - which I think most people would agree with - but they also keep people from dealing with their feelings - like eating something out of the vending machine instead of dealing with a problem. As a manager I am seeing more of that kind of pattern at work after reading this book. Especially the concept that people can be addicted to moods, like being angry or grumpy all the time - this describes some people at work to a tee and I really didn't have an angle to explain this until now (and it also makes me way more tuned in to when I'm being grumpy for no good reason or avoiding dealing with what made me grumpy to begin with). So as a manager I think this book is valuable for learning more about myself and also more about patterns at the workplace. And as an engineer I was surprised that the book has some pretty bottom-line information, techniques, and exercises in it (not just the "touchy feely" stuff I expected) about how to replace time-wasting things with better activities. One definite thing I learned from this book is that after I do something like procrastinate or eat too much, if I feel down and kind of empty afterwards, it probably means I was doing a soft addiction.

Wow! Judith's book helped me identify and change, compassionately, those things in my life that seemed small, annoying but previously not controllable. I found actionable steps I can take to overcome the things that zap my time and energy, like collecting and clutter. These always seemed like impossible and inevitable obstacles in my life, but with the Math of More, I'm clearing away the web of my soft addictions. Already, I have found more time. None of these things appeared to be too big to handle, but they were never resolved, and they persisted in my life and take up energy. As I unraveled the web, I'm finding more love for myself and time for the things I really love, like my favorite hobbies and recreation. I even cancelled my cable TV and find that I get enough news to keep current, but I read more, write more, listen to more music, and feel more rested when it's bedtime. The more I noticed these soft addictions, the more I felt the power to change for the positive, and I am on my way. Oh, did I mention Starbucks? A few years ago, I tracked my coffee expenses and discovered I spent $1200 per year on coffee drinks! Time, money, emotional waste, all the cost of soft addictions. Judith's book is helping me to add More to my life.

Motivational speaker and writer Judith Wright insists that the minor harmless habits are the dangerous ones that hold people prisoners within "soft addictions" that keep an individual from enjoying love and meaningfulness in life. These time filling disillusioned ruts like watching TV or surfing the Internet typically leave a person unfulfilled. Ms. Wright offers a program to eliminate or at least reduce the "soft addictions" in order to gain a more harmonic lifestyle shared with loved ones. The author espouses live everyday with the expressed purpose of achieving your goals and stepping closer to attaining one's vision rather than hide within the socially acceptable rut.

This self-help book is well written and easy to follow once the reader understands the underlying hypothesis fostered by Ms. Wright, who makes a strong anecdotal case defending her belief. The difficult part remains disciplining one's self because these "soft addictions" are so hypnotic even when one is left feeling empty afterward, but Ms. Wright offers small steps as a plan to achieve a more satiated life shared with loved ones. THERE MUST BE MORE THAN THIS: FINDING MORE LIFE, LOVE, AND MEANING BY OVERCOMING YOUR SOFT ADDICTIONS is solid advice for those who seek greater harmony within themselves.

Harriet Klausner