This book reveals the origin of self-hate, how self-hate works, how to identify it, and how to go beyond it. It provides examples of some of the forms self-hate takes, including taking blame but not credit, holding grudges, and trying to be perfect, and explores the many facets of self-hate, including its role in addiction, the battering cycle, and the illusion of control. After addressing these factors, it illustrates how a meditation practice can be developed and practiced in efforts to free oneself from self-hating beliefs.
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About the Author
Cheri Huber is the author of 19 books, including When You're Falling, Dive and Time-Out for Parents. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center in Mountain View, California, and the Zen Monastery Practice Center in Murphys, California, and teaches in both communities. She travels widely and often, leading workshops and retreats around the United States and abroad, most recently in Costa Rica and Italy. She founded Living Compassion in 2003, a nonprofit group comprised of There Is Nothing Wrong with You Retreats (based on the book); Global Community for Peace: The Assisi Peace Project; The Africa Vulnerable Children Project; and Open Air Talk Radio, her weekly call-in radio show originating from Stanford University. She lives in Murphys, California.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
63 of 63 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
If you are reading this consider yourself one of the lucky ones- You have disovered gold- The end of suffering.
November 22, 2006
By Todd Huntley
Format:Paperback
Over my the past ten years, I have done a great amount of reading, research and soul searching in the effort to find treatment to my OCD, anxiety disorders, depression, blocks ETC. I have been to many psychologists "specializing" in anxiety disorders. I have established relationships with the top and most cutting edge specialists in the field of the treatment of anxiety disorders.
The common denominator that the world of psychology is just starting to understand is that these disorders are, in truth, just the tip of the iceberg of a deep seated rejection of self. The ONLY way to end the living hell of a life full of anxiety is acceptance. Acceptance is the key. A deep comprehensive acceptance of self. The "new wave" of the psychology world is just beginning to get it.
Cheri Huber's book is a very important and fun read to get the basics of the dynamics of the root to these disorders. What is important to understand is that the ideas given over in this book are the same ideas that people are paying $250.00 an hour to hear from the top-anxiety disorder therapists in the country. I recommend buying this book and doing some more Amazon searches under "self-acceptance" and beginning a library to educate yourself on these fundamental truths. If you are among one of the lucky ones-You will begin a life changing process of self restoration, one of spontaneity, intimacy, and life.
The common denominator that the world of psychology is just starting to understand is that these disorders are, in truth, just the tip of the iceberg of a deep seated rejection of self. The ONLY way to end the living hell of a life full of anxiety is acceptance. Acceptance is the key. A deep comprehensive acceptance of self. The "new wave" of the psychology world is just beginning to get it.
Cheri Huber's book is a very important and fun read to get the basics of the dynamics of the root to these disorders. What is important to understand is that the ideas given over in this book are the same ideas that people are paying $250.00 an hour to hear from the top-anxiety disorder therapists in the country. I recommend buying this book and doing some more Amazon searches under "self-acceptance" and beginning a library to educate yourself on these fundamental truths. If you are among one of the lucky ones-You will begin a life changing process of self restoration, one of spontaneity, intimacy, and life.
38 of 38 people found the following review helpful
By Katie
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I have read several of this author's books, and have found all of them to be full of insights and helpful reminders about various things we can do to bring ourselves back to the present, and find the joy within ourselves.
"There is Nothing Wrong With You" discusses the fact that many of us were conditioned as children to believe that we are not inherently good. Although those words may not have been said to us directly, we got the message everytime we were told that we "should have done this", "should be ashamed of ourselves", "shouldn't have done that", etc... And that it's these types of messages that led to the creation of the "internal committee" that exists within all (or at least most) of us - you know, that comittee in your head that judges you harshly, reminds you of the negatives about yourself and others, and basically drives you crazy whenever you're trying to make a difference in your life (smile)...
The author ties all of this in with the ego - that part of ourselves that thrives on the power that we give to our "internal commitee" each time we believe the negative self-talk going on in our heads.
Evolving through this idea of the ego & internal committe, the author provides several ideas of how to deal with, and overcome the belief that we're not inherently good - a belief which leads us to beat ourselves up within our mind all too often (we come to believe that this punishment of ourselves will somehow make us be "good" people - but does it really???).
One of the main things I got from this book is the idea of having compassion for yourself. To ask yourself, if my best friend said to me the same things I'm saying to myself, would they remain my friend? Or, would I ever say this to someone I loved? If the answer is no, than it's a good idea to stop the voices in your head, and choose to have compassion for yourself - we all need compassion, so why not give it to yourself?
Another good insight was Cheri Huber's "rule of thumb" which states: if the voice within you is saying anything that isn't loving & compassionate, it's your ego talking, and it's a lie - DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON JUST AS YOU ARE!!!
Overall, I found this book to be an interesting, insightful, easy read, and would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to silence the negative self-talk going on within your mind. Although this book is written from a buddhist perspective, you definitely don't need to be a buddhist to gain from all of the wonderful insights included within the pages of this book.
"There is Nothing Wrong With You" discusses the fact that many of us were conditioned as children to believe that we are not inherently good. Although those words may not have been said to us directly, we got the message everytime we were told that we "should have done this", "should be ashamed of ourselves", "shouldn't have done that", etc... And that it's these types of messages that led to the creation of the "internal committee" that exists within all (or at least most) of us - you know, that comittee in your head that judges you harshly, reminds you of the negatives about yourself and others, and basically drives you crazy whenever you're trying to make a difference in your life (smile)...
The author ties all of this in with the ego - that part of ourselves that thrives on the power that we give to our "internal commitee" each time we believe the negative self-talk going on in our heads.
Evolving through this idea of the ego & internal committe, the author provides several ideas of how to deal with, and overcome the belief that we're not inherently good - a belief which leads us to beat ourselves up within our mind all too often (we come to believe that this punishment of ourselves will somehow make us be "good" people - but does it really???).
One of the main things I got from this book is the idea of having compassion for yourself. To ask yourself, if my best friend said to me the same things I'm saying to myself, would they remain my friend? Or, would I ever say this to someone I loved? If the answer is no, than it's a good idea to stop the voices in your head, and choose to have compassion for yourself - we all need compassion, so why not give it to yourself?
Another good insight was Cheri Huber's "rule of thumb" which states: if the voice within you is saying anything that isn't loving & compassionate, it's your ego talking, and it's a lie - DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON JUST AS YOU ARE!!!
Overall, I found this book to be an interesting, insightful, easy read, and would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to silence the negative self-talk going on within your mind. Although this book is written from a buddhist perspective, you definitely don't need to be a buddhist to gain from all of the wonderful insights included within the pages of this book.
32 of 33 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Don't be deceived by what appears to be simple, Cheri's simple approach is extremely powerful and effective
February 25, 2007
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Cheri Huber is an excellent speaker and author. I have read most of her books and I always get a lot out of them. In fact, I frequently recommend them to my clients because they are simple, straightforward and easy to relate to. They are written in an upbeat fasion and they get practical very quickly.
Cheri Huber is actually a founder of a Zen monastery and a big advocate of sitting still and listening to the wisdom within. Her general approach is to get quiet and experience the layers that are beneath the everyday mental chatter. She advocates staying with difficult emotions including shame and approaching your areas of discomfort with love and compassion.
Krishamurti once said, "Seeing the truth deeply is what liberates, not your efforts to be free." I suspect Cheri would add that what limits your ability to see deeply so that shame and self-hatred unravels is self compassion. Without this quality of acceptance, inevitably defense mechanisms will kick up.
This booka and many of Cheri's other books combine the insights of Buddhism with some cognitive therapy techniques. This particularly evident in her Self Acceptance course which I highly recommend as an accompaniment to this book.
You really can't go wrong with any of Cheri Huber's books. They are filled with compassion, practical wisdom and are characterized by a simple, direct and powerful way of moving through the world.
Cheri Huber is actually a founder of a Zen monastery and a big advocate of sitting still and listening to the wisdom within. Her general approach is to get quiet and experience the layers that are beneath the everyday mental chatter. She advocates staying with difficult emotions including shame and approaching your areas of discomfort with love and compassion.
Krishamurti once said, "Seeing the truth deeply is what liberates, not your efforts to be free." I suspect Cheri would add that what limits your ability to see deeply so that shame and self-hatred unravels is self compassion. Without this quality of acceptance, inevitably defense mechanisms will kick up.
This booka and many of Cheri's other books combine the insights of Buddhism with some cognitive therapy techniques. This particularly evident in her Self Acceptance course which I highly recommend as an accompaniment to this book.
You really can't go wrong with any of Cheri Huber's books. They are filled with compassion, practical wisdom and are characterized by a simple, direct and powerful way of moving through the world.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars
Really could have been done better
The font in the book is a really unfortunate choice. It looks like comic sans or some sort of handwriting. It makes the book very difficult to read. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Angela Chang
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Book
Excellent book for those of us who have areas of self-hate in our lives. Excellent information on over coming self-hate. Nothing about this book not to like.
Published 1 month ago by Beth Dutt
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good premise, delivery could have been better though.
I was on a self-help buying binge last year and this is one of the titles that caught my attention. I must admit it's a quick and interesting read. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Danielle Greenhouse
5.0 out of 5 stars
Best Self help book on the market
This is an excellent book on self help. The author writes in a very clear and concise manner. Very readable and easy to relate to. Read more
Published 3 months ago by EB
5.0 out of 5 stars
Awesome book
I love this book! It has so many powerful messages and makes you stop and think. I love the fun, playful layout of every page. The little cartoons are adorable! Read more
Published 3 months ago by Buddhist RN
4.0 out of 5 stars
The first part of this book should be required reading!
Everybody can relate and benefit to the first part of the book. The layout appeals to the child in you, which is why I think it's so effective. Read more
Published 5 months ago by P. Coots
1.0 out of 5 stars
Really??
I thought I had found a golden nugget after reading all the positive reviews on this book. I purchased it eagerly. Read more
Published 5 months ago by MJ
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simple and powerful message
I am a person of science--I value logic, evidence, hard facts. So, I am not the type who is easily sucked into what some may regard as new-age mumbo jumbo. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Currer Bell
3.0 out of 5 stars
How am supposed to read this? Aesthetic issues insurmountable
Instead of stars I wish I could offer a N/A rating. To be fair and neutral I will give it three stars. Read more
Published 11 months ago by swimwithorca
4.0 out of 5 stars
Friendly book
Some really interesting psychological insights into childhood, a nice mix of psychology and philosophy all presented in a very friendly and kind manner. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Anon.
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