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There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate Revised edition Edition
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Top Customer Reviews
The common denominator that the world of psychology is just starting to understand is that these disorders are, in truth, just the tip of the iceberg of a deep seated rejection of self. The ONLY way to end the living hell of a life full of anxiety is acceptance. Acceptance is the key. A deep comprehensive acceptance of self. The "new wave" of the psychology world is just beginning to get it.
Cheri Huber's book is a very important and fun read to get the basics of the dynamics of the root to these disorders. What is important to understand is that the ideas given over in this book are the same ideas that people are paying $250.00 an hour to hear from the top-anxiety disorder therapists in the country. I recommend buying this book and doing some more Amazon searches under "self-acceptance" and beginning a library to educate yourself on these fundamental truths. If you are among one of the lucky ones-You will begin a life changing process of self restoration, one of spontaneity, intimacy, and life.
"There is Nothing Wrong With You" discusses the fact that many of us were conditioned as children to believe that we are not inherently good. Although those words may not have been said to us directly, we got the message everytime we were told that we "should have done this", "should be ashamed of ourselves", "shouldn't have done that", etc... And that it's these types of messages that led to the creation of the "internal committee" that exists within all (or at least most) of us - you know, that comittee in your head that judges you harshly, reminds you of the negatives about yourself and others, and basically drives you crazy whenever you're trying to make a difference in your life (smile)...
The author ties all of this in with the ego - that part of ourselves that thrives on the power that we give to our "internal commitee" each time we believe the negative self-talk going on in our heads.
Evolving through this idea of the ego & internal committe, the author provides several ideas of how to deal with, and overcome the belief that we're not inherently good - a belief which leads us to beat ourselves up within our mind all too often (we come to believe that this punishment of ourselves will somehow make us be "good" people - but does it really???).
One of the main things I got from this book is the idea of having compassion for yourself. To ask yourself, if my best friend said to me the same things I'm saying to myself, would they remain my friend? Or, would I ever say this to someone I loved?Read more ›
Cheri Huber is actually a founder of a Zen monastery and a big advocate of sitting still and listening to the wisdom within. Her general approach is to get quiet and experience the layers that are beneath the everyday mental chatter. She advocates staying with difficult emotions including shame and approaching your areas of discomfort with love and compassion.
Krishamurti once said, "Seeing the truth deeply is what liberates, not your efforts to be free." I suspect Cheri would add that what limits your ability to see deeply so that shame and self-hatred unravels is self compassion. Without this quality of acceptance, inevitably defense mechanisms will kick up.
This booka and many of Cheri's other books combine the insights of Buddhism with some cognitive therapy techniques. This particularly evident in her Self Acceptance course which I highly recommend as an accompaniment to this book.
You really can't go wrong with any of Cheri Huber's books. They are filled with compassion, practical wisdom and are characterized by a simple, direct and powerful way of moving through the world.
Quit searching for that quick fix ,that elusive magical cure to all your woes, your pain and suffering.
For those unfamiliar with Zen Buddhism, the concepts here can seem too simple and even silly to people in this over-abundant, pseudo-secure society that believes there is the right pill or the right therapist OUT THERE to fix all the things wrong with me. (which may account for the two negative reviews).
But as with all writings of pure Buddhism eventually you can't run from what you already know within, deep down. There is nothing to get, nothing to do except to begin accepting yourself for who you are and start ignoring that voice in most peoples heads saying, "there's something wrong with you...your really no good..." etc. And this book will help to illustrate this in an often comical, light-hearted way.
Sounds simple, and it is. But it won't just happen, well, actually it will - hmm..see how silly Zen can sound in words. I mean, you'll have to do some serious WORK to wholly realize the title of this book . This could be your first step.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
For anyone who has ever felt insecure, defective, left out. Wonderful book.Published 15 days ago by drlarryw
Wonderful book! A great fast read, buts so good I read twice back to back.Published 1 month ago by Angela H.
Just a great read, did not agree with everything, but great food for thoughts.Published 1 month ago by paul