From the Author
Ed Toolis is SWM comedy writer, who loves moonlit walks along the Chicago Lake Front and all that jazz, and who only recently figured out why his career hasn't taken off in forty years. He never got married! If he had, he would have had an endless supply of comic material. So if you are single and will never be satisfied with his performance in bed, have friends and in-laws who will always think he's the worst decision you've ever made, and have kids who will constantly drive him nuts, please, contact him.
From the Inside Flap
By turning, clicking or swiping to the next the page, You, the reader, hereby acknowledge that any and all apps, based on the ideas in this book, are the sole intellectual property of the author. Whether any such apps are produced by you, or as the result of something you said to an app-producing acquaintance, cannot be sold without me, the author getting my 50%. Further, the reader acknowledges that he or she will pay the author's legal expenses, required to collect said money, including pain and suffering, resulting from said collection effort. Disclaimer
Although the included text does not include obscene language, certain stories are not intended to be read by children, who can use the ideas in the stories to make lives of their parents a living hell. The same goes for women, who are in relationships with men.