These Hellish Happenings [Kindle Edition]

Jennifer Rainey (Author)

Book Description

In 1707, hapless vampire Jack Bentley made a pact with the Devil in order to escape a vampire hunt. Dealing with Satan seemed better than your standard angry mob at the time. But three centuries later, Satan is ready to collect His dues, whether the vampire likes it or not. He's taking Jack down to Hell, and He's even got a job picked out for him down below: an eternal position at the Registration Office of the Damned. Jack attempts to adjust to life on the Administrative Level of Hell where fire and brimstone have been replaced by board meetings and the occasional broken copier. But the whiny complaints of the recently-deceased and the legions of suited, cookie-cutter demons are the least of his problems. Try adding to the equation a dead ex-lover, a dangerous attraction to his high-ranking demon companion, Alexander Ridner, and the sticky and distorted anti-vampire politics of a Hell that is surprisingly like our own world.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Jennifer Rainey was raised by wolves who later sold her to gypsies. She then joined the circus at the age of ten. There, she was the flower girl in the famed Bearded Bride of Beverly Hills show until the act was discontinued (it was discovered that the bearded lady was actually a man). From there, she wandered around the country selling novelty trucker hats with vaguely amusing sayings printed on front. Somehow, she made enough money to go to The Ohio State University for a major in English. In real life, she is just as ridiculous as this biography.

Product Details

• File Size: 437 KB
• Print Length: 378 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1456307142
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B004K1F8KM
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #409,920 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Not your typical vampire/demon story February 21, 2011

By Sheryl Painter

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I found myself drawn to the main character, vampire Jack, quickly. He is nothing like the majority of vampires I've "met" through books. I found myself actually feeling sorry for him at times, and at others laughing outright. Once entering Hell, the author was able to introduce even more intersting and outrageous characters. I found myself rooting for some demons, against others, and her irreverant vision of hell is wonderful. I'm just hoping I never end up in hell as a cerberus poop scooper! The author's characters are wonderful, her story line kept me interested in what was happening to everyone, and she kept Hell....well disrespectfully hellish. I would recommend this book easily. Wonderful job, Ms. Rainey!

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Original plot, but annoying characters July 11, 2011

By Nic

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

About the Book:
In 1707, Jack Bently made a pact with the devil so that he could survive a vampire hunt. Three hundred years later, the devil has come to collect his due. So what is in store for Mr. Bently in Hell? An eternity of working at the Registration Office of the Damned. Now, not only does Jack have to deal with such tedious repetition for an eternity, but there is also a discrimination against supernatural types in Hell (such as werewolves and vampires). So Jack tries to survive Hell as best as he can which causes him to obtain some demonic allies and to become wrapped up in office politics of the Hellish variety.

Review:
I picked up this book, because it seemed like it would be a witty and original tale. Although I did not think it was the best book ever written, it was quite an original piece. It was nice to see vampires that weren't all about sex and Hell wasn't just fire and brimstone. The main reason I didn't give this book more stars was mostly because of the characters. I could not stand most of them, to be honest. I found them to be flat and a bit too generic. Jack especially grated me. I could not believe that he was a centuries old vampire from the way he acted. He just reminded me of some "punk" teenager such as listening to punk music (which is the only good music, according to Jack) and trying to get drunk all the time. Now, I could see why he may put up that type of character for humans, but he acts the same way among other vampires. I also could see him liking some more modern music, but not a single ounce of his habits, customs, or personality hinted at his original era. Also, any of the wit that comes from the characters (mostly Alex and Jack) is idiotic, and the villain is just as stupid.... Then, the villain is evil, because he just happens to want to stay on top of the work chain. The author had to make him pathetic, of course, by making him greasy and cheesy and no one likes him. It just seems like the author tried too hard to make you dislike him. However, for what seems to be a first published work, it could have been much much worse.

The other thing I strongly disliked is that Jack got off too easily. Seriously, he ends up in Hell, and he ends up not having to live in the Employment Housing, the shift he works is just like every day life: you get to go home and get weekends off, Jack gets a really rare job for vampires, and then Satan himself ends up going easy on Jack. Even though we are supposed to feel that his life is horrible, Jack has so gotten the large slice of the pie.

I have to admit I did not see the main relationship coming (mainly because Jack was poorly written), and it was sweet and pretty, and the reading was quick paced and made the book fairly enjoyable. All in all, it was a good plot and with some better editing and more defined characters, it could have really been something. This author definitely has some potential. Read more ›

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars "Satan in Hell," This Book is Great April 24, 2011

By Chris Truscott

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I haven't read a book featuring a vampire since Dracula in 10th grade. In fact, I only bought this one because the author's biography page is funny--it really is: [...]

I started reading this with no expectations, but found myself highly impressed very early on. In addition to putting together a fun story, author Jennifer Rainey tells a very smart story about the nature of a Hell that reflects some of the most banal, mean-spirited and bizarre aspects of life on earth in the 21st century.

I especially enjoyed the cast of characters--from Jack the vampire to Satan himself ("S."). Rainey's novel moves quickly, engages the reader and leaves me eagerly anticipating more.

These Hellish Happenings is classified as "fantasy," but I highly recommend it to anyone interested in a good story--particularly one with plenty of humor and themes that'll make you think.

Very well done from start to finish.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Hell is just as boring as real life November 21, 2012

By Madison Keller

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Jack is supposedly a 600 y/o vampire, but he acts more like a lazy 15 y/o teenager. He sold his soul to the devil in exchange for 300 years of not having to drink blood.

This story starts off very, very, very slowly, mostly because Jack is the most boring vampire on the face of the planet. I thought once he got dragged to hell that the story would pick up, but it doesn't. In this universe Hell is a Bureaucratic Nightmare. Which is just as boring as it sounds. Watch Jack as he goes to work from 9-5 in the pits of hell, with evenings and weekends off! Watch Jack get involved in Demon politics and go door-to-door handing out fliers! Watch Jack be an annoying little twit!

Seriously, I didn't like any of these characters, at all. I had to force myself to finish so I could write this review. At several points I was rooting for the other team in the hopes that something interesting would happen. Does it? No, not really.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! April 26, 2011

By H. E. Smith

Format:Paperback

I LOVE this book. It juggles a lot of different things- workplace comedy, social commentary, supernatural creatures, off-beat romance- but the book manages to be totally cohesive. It's laugh out loud funny, really clever and witty; the characters are well-rounded and appealing. Big rec for this one.

2.0 out of 5 stars Excellent writing but a boring story May 18, 2013

By Emily

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I really tried to like this book. I was looking for a light, amusing, and entertaining read. What I got was...boring. Oh, the author is a talented writer, but fifty pages into the book I'm still reading about someone who could be a neighbor or a friend if you overlook the fact he drinks blood and not beer. The main character is apparently the most boring vampire on the face of the planet.

I feel bad giving it so few stars because the writing really is excellent. The hints of the story-to-come are really interesting, too. But I just couldn't get past the slow start. I suppose that I like a bit more escapism in my books. Reading about day to day life just isn't enough to keep my interest. I suppose I'd expected the book to move more quickly, to go somewhere (besides a low-rent buddy's apartment). Others may get more out of it than I did. I only gave it two stars because of the excellent writing.

More About the Author

Jennifer Rainey was raised by wolves who later sold her to gypsies. She then joined the circus at the age of ten. There, she was the flower girl in the famed Bearded Bride of Beverly Hills show until the act was discontinued (it was discovered that the bearded lady was actually a man). From there, she wandered around the country selling novelty trucker hats with vaguely amusing sayings printed on front. Somehow, she made enough money to go to The Ohio State University for a major in English.