Customer Reviews

If These Walls Could Talk: A Therapist Reveals Stories of Change and How They will Work for You

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"Self help" books make up a huge area of most bookstores, and I am cynical enough to admit I utter "seen one, seen them all" when I pass the section on my way to books on home improvement and gardening.

But this book, which was given to me, is actually different, and refreshingly so. One thing I like about the book is it tells you what you may need to hear and not necessarily what you want to hear. I also love the way the author approaches life and the advise he offers, from a realistic, and often a "hmmm never thought of that before mode".

The chapters that make this book worth the price are Chapter 11 Contentment VS Happiness, Chapter 14 Love is Not a Constant, Chapter 15 Your Partner is a Reflection of Who You Are (which is why I often say people often get the person they deserve), and Chapters 20 and 21 which deal with twelve things Women and Men should know about the opposite sex.

I recently lost my best friend and husband of thirty-eight years and I spend a lot of time thinking about all the marriages where there is pain, sadness, madness and regret and how content Ron and I were and how we each liked each other as well as loved each other and how neither of us tried to change the other.

This book may well help "you" or someone you know have a successful, realistic, awesome relationship. So please, check the book out.

This book is a treasure. In his uniquely personal, wise and compassionate style, Dr. Habib gives us the gifts of hope and courage to change. Particularly disarming - and relevant - is Chapter 11: Contentment Versus Happiness, which should be mandatory monthly reading for all partners committed to a full and intimate relationship. As a former patient of his I attest to his genuine desire to facilitate personal growth in his patients. He achieves in this book what he effects in his practice: the gift of enabling his patients to give voice to knowledge contained within but struggling to be made present, and the courage to change and, ultimately, transcend.

In a few words, that is how I experienced this book. The medicine Dr. Habib presented was honest and truthful, thoughts about life and love; yet the way he delivered it was with sugar, fun and practical. I appreciated his openness and desire to share his experiences in an approachable manner. Even though I am not yet married nor do I have children, I enjoyed the sections on these topics as they gave me some "heads up" things to consider. This is an enjoyable and awakening read!

Not everyone is satisfied with their life or how they live it. But therapy, for many, might seem to be uncharted waters. Dr. Habib uses 25 stories from clinical practice to illustrate areas where therapy could help someone. Chapter 14 "Love is Not a Constant"--if we fall in love, why don't we stay in love, and the most interesting, if scary part--how we choose a partner from aspects deep within ourselves, are the chapters that I found fascinating. If you are considering therapy or are just curious, this is an excellent and rather unusual book.

If These Walls Could Talk by clinical psychologist Thomas A. Habib presents 25 stories of human change in individuals and couples seeking help to sort out the thorny issues of human relationships. From the question of what drives people to turn their back on a solid marriage for "a better love"; to parent-child issues long after the children have grown into adults, and more, If These Walls Could Talk is an absorbing, highly recommended, case-based study guide offering inspiration and examples for personal growth and self-improvement.

I haven't read the entire book, but from what I have read I agree with about 95% percent of all of Dr. Habib's statements, stories, and conclusions. There is something about reading about the experiences of others that makes a book so much easier to read than just giving us theories and steps to reproduce. Other people's lives are like parables for our own.

The advice Dr. Habib provides in marriage and family is so relevant, but unheard in today's word of failed marriages or just plain unhappy ones. Life at home can be a joy, and this book can help!

In life, many of us talk to friends about our daily challenges, but occasionally it is healing to talk to a therapist about problems, which seem to be overwhelming our worlds and threatening to change our lives in significant ways.

In this book, a therapist reveals 25 stories without breaking any doctor-patient confidentiality agreements. The patients in his stories have given their explicit permission and names and circumstances have been altered to protect the individuals whose lives were influenced by Thomas A. Habib's care and concern.

There are three main sections:

Your Life
Love and Marriage
Parenting and Families

Many of the stories are filled with the disclosure of intimate feelings, struggles with parenting issues, life lessons and marital issues that have some rather creative solutions. The issues in this book cover everything from choosing a life partner to dealing with life when passion inevitably cools and the fantasy of marriage dissolves into reality. He discusses the dynamics of relationships and how expectations can be more damaging than reality. Through reading this book you can learn how to:

Solve differences in sexual desire
Determine if your perfectionism is ruining your life
Understand critical parenting skills
Avoid conflict with your adult children

The area of "living in the purgatory of hope" was rather enlightening to me and I had never quite looked at some situations in quite that way. Hope can at times be a damaging influence in a relationship, while at other times it can help you make it through a time of conflict or betrayal.

At times Thomas A. Habib encourages his patients by exploring the idea of how we rarely marry the wrong person and then at times he uses creative methods to allow reality to seep into his patients lives (filing for a divorce) in order to encourage them to delve more deeply into their own psyche and realize they want to save their marriage.

Throughout this book, he uncovers cherished, but unrealistic expectations, exposes sociological variables and discusses how relationships do require an advanced level of participation and emotional awareness to survive the constant change of life itself. Through adapting and adjusting to life, we can be more open to possibility.

His comments about the willingness to be open to sexuality are interesting and I was only left thinking that it is not about women not enjoying sex, it is more about women wanting to experience a deep loving relationship that allows them to feel more erotic and experience more desire. I believe these types of women do exist, in fact, I think every woman has an inner goddess who only needs to be awakened by a loving man who may need to display a level of patience that allows a woman's heart to open fully. Reading David Deida's work on how to love a woman and then recently reading a book by Steven Andrew Guerrero showed me how men really can inspire a woman if they are willing to read a few "instruction manuals" for women. We are not quite as mysterious as it appears. There are definite keys that will start our engines. I personally think "romance" in itself is one of the most important keys to desire. Our hearts are definitely connected to our sexuality and to feel loved and appreciated we need more than a subtle nudge in the direction of the bedroom. If a woman is giving "duty sex" as explained in this book, her heart must be in complete pain and her inner goddess might be in hiding.

As to the author's comments about age and cosmetic surgery. I'd like to add that a lot can be done without surgery. Simply by adding a variety of supplements to your diet, or by reading a book like: The Metabolic Plan, you can start on your way to a much healthier you and see your body literally grow younger. When you look after your body, you not only feel better, you feel sexier too. So, exercise can be a way to encourage a more loving relationship.

This is a great book to read if you are considering marriage or you are looking for a comforting and nurturing read. It is comforting in regards to our universal needs and experiences. Thomas A. Habib presents a variety of accepted norms and discusses our deepest disappointments and failures by presenting real-life examples from souls he has met and counseled through the years. There are a few moments of humor and a wealth of interesting sage advice that I will start to apply to my life.

As I tend to currently believe: Someone has probably written the solution to your problems in a book. This is one of those books that will find you if you need to read it! The author discusses everything from road rage to the twelve things you should avoid in a future marriage partner.

~The Rebecca Review

Dr. Habib accomplishes what every good therapists wants--he listens, gives doable insight, advice and provides hope.
I enjoyed reading this book, because it wasn't filled with too much psychobabble and instruction. While your reading the book, you acutually feel like you are sitting in session with Dr. Habib and his patients. No matter where you are at in your life, you will relate to the stories in this book and come away with inspiration and useful tools to navigate towards a happier, healthier life.

I was impressed with the depth and insight this author has and found the book extremely well-organized and thought out.Each story has a different problem or a different angle on a problem so there is plenty of material that any of us can identify with and find useful. I liked the fact that it omitted a lot of technical talk yet was specific enough about the sessions that the reader got a clear picture of Habib's therapy and his approach.

Wish I was able to read this book 5 years ago when my children were teens. It added insight to problems I have hashed over for the last several years. A quick read! Don't miss it.