Customer Reviews

They Were Single Too: 8 Biblical Role Models

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I am a married woman, and it may seem odd that I'd comment on a book about singleness. But I have a good reason. I married later in life. I'm glad that I did it, I'd do it again and I have no desire to end my marriage.

My single years were wonderful and I did a lot, experienced a lot and learned unbelievable good things. But my singleness was marred by the constant pressure and even criticism from my friends, colleagues, and at times, even my own relatives. I was asked unbelievably personal questions and had to put up with remarks that were downright tacky. And the people who thought there were going to make me "see the light" about my singleness and settle down and marry were actually driving me AWAY from marriage and killing what desire I did have for it. For a long time I refused to pray for a mate. The story of how I met my husband and how we got married is a whole separate matter, but I can say this -- I was a contented single when I met him. We have a good relationship and I credit part of this to the fact that we both were able to lead good, useful lives when we were single.

I think that David Hoffeditz has done the Christian community a real service with this book -- he gives sound, Biblical examples of people who were single or who had spent a great deal of their lives single. With the spate of books out pushing marriage over singleness and just about equating singleness with sin, I think this one restores a true, Biblical balance.

In fact, the prime example of singleness: Jesus Christ Himself. In spite of all of the DA VINCI CODE controversey, Jesus was a bachelor!

Despite the fact that I am an exceedingly slow reader, I just couldn't put this book down. As a 21 year old single facing the prospect entering entirely into adult singleness, this book caught my attention by the mere force of the topic itself. As I read I was delighted to see that the content of the book was highly beneficial and the style in which it was written made it easy and enjoyable to read. I'm not sure what I appreciated more, the level of honesty or the number of universal Biblical truths put forth. The level of honesty is key for this kind of work, as Hoffeditz clearly realized. The struggles are real and Hoffeditz given the chance for me to consider the real battles vicariously through his experiences while aptly describing my thoughts and feelings on the various struggles in "solo living;" as the author terms it. The book was universal in that the ideas put forth affect every person, single or not. The significance of this work is that these important idea were dealt with in the context of singleness; namely, sorting out the various issues, often with just you and Christ. As Hoffeditz highlights, often these struggles are dealt in the face of have no other person to help. Again, the universals such as pursuing Christ above all else are brought out beautifully and in a refreshing way for the single Christian. I enjoyed this work thoroughly; it will make a great gift for some on my list this year. I was very encouraged in Christ and am forced now consider and evaluate how I think about must in my single life before God. This is the sort of work where I found myself wishing I could have certain people read a particular chapter as it addressed the particular struggles that I know some around me are going through at this time. At the same time I was convicted that I needed to hear much of what was stated by the author. The topics dealt with include loneliness, how to face adversity as a single, the discouragement that often comes to the single adult from those who are married and/or have expectations of you being so soon, a strong reminder of who we are as follower of Christ (regardless of marital status), and many more. This will no doubt be a profitable book to read, regardless of your current relationship status.

Excellent book. It doesn't suddenly take away all the struggles associated with singleness, but it does help me focus on serving our God!

I was given this book as a birthday gift last year by a single friend. Although she is contented in her single state (or at least puts on a very good front), she knows that I struggle with it, and so doubtless meant this book to be an encouragement.

I let it sit on my TBR pile for almost a year. I have read a few books on single-ness, most written by women, and have found that they all seem to follow one of three tracks: 1) 10 steps to finding Mr. Right; 2) 10 ways to get yourself a life while waiting for Mr. Right to come along, or; 3) 10 reasons why the single life is so fulfilling that you don't need to be married (why would you want to be anyway?!). These books have been of practically no help to me and I'm left feeling no better, because: 1) been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and even tried wearing it until finally, after several years, I realized it wasn't working; 2) I have a life, thank you, what do you think I've been doing for the past 20+ years? Sitting on the couch twiddling my thumbs?!, and; 3) in spite of how wonderfully fulfilling they say being single is, it doesn't feel wonderful to me and I don't feel fulfilled and complete. So what is wrong with me?

When I finally decided to read this book, I realized from page 1 that it was going to be different. Really. On the first page of the Introduction the author talks about the so-called "gift" of singleness being a gift, all right: like the ill-fitting sweater your Aunt Lilly made and gave you as a Christmas gift. Having truly had an Aunt Lillie, who once really did make me the tackiest sweater you could imagine as a Christmas gift, I connected with the author immediately and realized, this guy is right on!

My satisfaction deepened as I progressed with the book. I can now say that this is one of only two books on singleness/marriage that I have ever read and truly found to be helpful (the other being "God Is A Matchmaker" by Derek Prince). Coincidentally (or perhaps not) they were both written by men, and were both very short books; the authors cut the fluff and the BFF tone (both things that female authors tend to indulge in), and just get to the point, sharing substantive thoughts that are truly helpful.

They Were Single Too is amazing in its authenticity. By that I mean, the author simply gets down to where the rubber meets the road; he doesn't try to convince the reader that he loves being single, but instead shares his struggles with it, thus opening his heart and exposing his vulnerability in ways that amazed me because I would never have the courage to do that myself. I'm not talking "dates gone wrong" here (thank goodness, I don't need or want to read any more of those, either) but honest, deep struggles; many of the thoughts he expressed were almost verbatim thoughts that I have had continually over the years, things I have cried out to God alone in the privacy of prayer. On the other hand, he is at times wryly funny, also; here again, he is totally real and this makes what he says even more hilarious.

They Were Single Too isn't a manual for how to find a mate and thus escape your single state, nor is it a manual for how to be perfectly content and fulfilled in a lifetime of singleness. Rather, it is simply an encouragement to recognize and accept single-ness as a gift from God (no better or worse than marriage), maybe for a lifetime or perhaps only for a season. It is a reminder to totally trust God's love for us and his plan for our lives, even when that means being single. The author uses single lives from the Bible as examples for finding fulfillment and peace and purpose with where God has us right now, this day: not tomorrow, or next year, but just today. He stresses involvement in the work of God, commitment to that involvement, and, most of all, prayer.

This book is absolutely a keeper; there are parts of it that I know I will re-read in times of struggle. I absolutely recommend this book for any Christian single over about age 35. It would be appropriate for younger singles, although they probably don't need it. In the 20s and often into the early 30s, you don't really feel the sting of being single. I know it didn't really hit me until my late 30s, and then it just about did me in mentally and emotionally. I sure wish I would have had this book about 7 years ago; nevertheless, I am glad I read it when I did. It is a blessing.

This book is being used by our women's class at church as a study guide. I have received good reports from the class members about the book.

David Hoffeditz is a highly skilled writer who examines various single biblical characters greatly used by God. In his book, They Were Single Too, I appreciated David's thorough examination of the texts of Scripture and his vulnerability in describing various facets of the single life. His timely humor and deep thought-provoking challenges encouraged me to view life as a single woman in an innovative way. I wish I would have had this book as a resource years ago! I highly recommend this book to anyone who seeks to understand God's perspective on the topic of singleness. As a graduate school professor and licensed professional clinical counselor, I see GREAT benefit in utilizing this book as a resource. This book is a "must have" for individuals, groups, churches, and academic institutions. I have yet to come across any other book that addresses singleness in such a creative way. I have read the book once and am already reading through it a second time because of the great encouragement I received from its content. I am looking forward to reading more of David Hoffeditz' books in the near future!