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They're So Vein (The Grateful Undead series Book 1) [Kindle Edition]

Susan Stec
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Susan is 58-years-old and bored with life. Middle age is a daily drudge of sagging body parts and aches and pains. Her fervent prayer that she could somehow recapture her youth comes true one night during a chance encounter with a child-like vampire. As soon as the other women in her family see the transformation they waste no time in sticking their necks out, hoping Susan will share this new-found fountain of youth.

Suddenly, this newly born group of hot-bodied vamps find themselves thrust into a world controlled by an ancient order of vampires. A world with rules, all of which the ladies pretty much break within hours of becoming immortals. And the little matter of the accidental epidemic of vamped out wildlife isn't exactly endearing them to the powers that be, either.
They're So Vein is a hilarious and irreverent new twist on the paranormal/vampire romance genre.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

In Susan Stec's written world she is immortal. She catches vamp-animals, plays with fairies, laughs with ghosts, chases a seer, employs a doppelganger, fights with werewolves, hates trolls, cuts down rogues and has an on-again, off-again romance with the oldest immortal on the planet - who has the biggest (ahem) fangs you've ever seen. When she drifts back into reality, she lives with her husband and three King Charles Spaniels on 50 acres of woods, fields and streams in upper Michigan; hunts deer with her Ruger or crossbow, paints watercolors, sculpts stained glass and chases butterflies with her dogs. Her personal favorite quote: One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead ~Oscar Wilde

Product Details

  • File Size: 556 KB
  • Print Length: 269 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1480016950
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Susan Stec; 2 edition (October 1, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B009KBT9EI
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #59,788 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Vampires as you have never Seen them before!! April 16, 2011
What would you really be like if you were turned into a vampire? Would you like to be one? Susan always wanted to be a vampire and now she's getting her wish which brings her more problems than she ever dreamed possible.
This story shows what happens to an average family when the 50+ year old Susan gets changed into a HOT vampire babe. The fun all starts when the whole family of cranky women want to be changed. Things don't go down well when they find out there are rules to their new vampire life and consequences to their bloodsucking activities which they have to sort out themselves.

Susan Stec has created real characters who are witty, smart-mouthed, and way too funny for their own good. The family dont' get on with each other, how are they expected to get on with other vampires and work with them.
Very humourous story and the characters stay in your head with their hilarious dynamics.
Thankgoodness there are more books to come.

This story is unlike any vampire story you have read. A very enjoyable read and I look forward to other books in this series.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Undead and Funny April 15, 2011
What's funnier than an octogenarian who suddenly finds herself undead, with a vociferous appetite for sex and the lingering mentality of a senior citizen? (Except, perhaps, potty-mouthed fifth-grade cartoon kids ( a la South Park), and since there's a cheeky Vampire tyke in the story with a trashy mouth, who's not afraid to use it, the author has covered all the bases.)

A fresh take on the oft-bitten vampire milieu, They're so Vein is a book that illustrates (hysterically) what happens when all (except one) of the estrogen-producing members of one family suddenly find themselves blood-suckers.

The characters are each funnier than the next: Susan is their bitchy leader, who got them all into this undead mess, but couldn't care less since she's now wrinkle free and has perky tits.

Then there's her sister, JoAnn, who can't quite get on board with the whole "drinking-human-blood-thing. " She ends up screwing with the eco-system by feeding on animals and accidentally turning them. PETA would be pissed.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't, again, mention Susan's eighty-something mother, who keeps bringing home men half her age, and is having a love affair with her battery-operated sex toy. (Her and Christopher, the mouthy Vampire kid, are my favorite characters. Fantastic one-liners!)

And Susan's kids... one daughter who's happy to play the fanged version of a kick-ass action hero, while the eldest daughter - the only sane one among them - decides to stay human, thank you very much.

It's all fun and games until the "serious" (old!) vampires come knocking, and expect this motley crew of newly-turned idiots to pay for their every Vampiric transgression. Sex, blood, and heads will roll...I think you'll find They're So Vein a funny, enjoyable romp.

(I smell a sequel!)

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this! April 20, 2011
Susan has created an irreverent, hilarious, quick moving romp filled with characters who you love to laugh at. My personal favorite is the vamp-coons although I don't want to give away any more than that. This is a must read, in fact I read the entire novel in one night. I couldn't put it down. Can't wait for the sequel!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm hooked (or fanged?) May 30, 2011
By muse
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase I will first admit that I have never really been a vamp-fan. Blood should be kept INSIDE a body, not sipped from a bendy-straw or sucked from...body parts. However, this story is so "frigging" cool. I know these people, I've lived with these immortals and I can only warn the unbelieving that the best is yet to come from Susan and her awesome family of women...Gatorland! (not meant to spoil the ending...) Keep up the great work, looking forward to the sequel...if you need an assitant, come bite me :)
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars SLOW start; gets much better June 19, 2013
By MishVMD
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have to admit that after the initial turning, the family scene just about made me put the book down permanently. The bickering that was supposed to be amusing was annoying at best and irritating most of all. After that, things pick up and move along. The whole concept of vampanimals is quite amusing, especially the visitors' scene! Susan's sister....annoying. Zombie dog with 'tude...awesomeness!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Golden Girls of the Night ..OR..What Price Vanity? February 26, 2013
By 4Nbahu
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Susan is a middle aged snoop with a youtube blog. When she hears a smart alecky kid back talking his caretaker in the bathroom stall, she decides to record it on her phone. Problem is, he is not a kid and he has decided to have a snack, one thing leads to another and Susan ends up back at the family home where she resides with 3 generations of her family, all female. When they get a look at the perks of being a vampire, such as perky breasts and the body of a 25 year old, they begin to think that having to drink blood might not be so bad. Add the fact that they didn't respond to the "Vampire Welcome Pack" in a timely manner now they are in trouble with the council..

Although I found a few editing mistakes (a couple actually threw me out of the story), do not let that keep you from reading this hilarious take, satire? on the new vampire genre. In this story you have the Grandma, otherwise known as Mom, Nanna or Chick, who resembled Sophia from Golden Girls. Susan and JoAnne, sisters with very different outlooks and behaviors.

I found the family dynamics fun and fairly familiar. The council guys were intimidating and adorable at the same time.

In this you will find vampires, a werewolf, a fairy, a troll and a few other things that aren't supposed to exist.

I HIGHLY recommend this funny fangy frolic.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! A Must read.
I laughed so hard trying to read this book. New vamps without a clue. And they are family members so the dynamics are hysterical. Read more
Published 10 days ago by Haggielady
3.0 out of 5 stars Fun fun fun
Great fun. Light earthy reading. Perfect romance novel with vampires and supernatural. Good travel or beach book. Good cast of characters that should hold up for the series. Read more
Published 25 days ago by john gaddy
5.0 out of 5 stars Not your average Vamp book!
I don't usually read/ like most vampire books...after's pretty much the same as the next! I actually only gave this one a chance because it was free but I have to say I... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Sue Turkington
5.0 out of 5 stars Little boring
But cute all the same. There were times I wish I could reach in and kick their butts, but it ended well.
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Let's Vamp things up a bit.
It's not every day you come across a book that grabs your attention and draws you in.
This is a well written book that is enjoyable to read. Read more
Published 1 month ago by kperkins
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
this one is too much fun!!
Published 1 month ago by sheila raynor
1.0 out of 5 stars racist paranormal "romantic comedy"
I gave this book a chance since it was free. The story is endlessly dragged out and your forced to read through unfunny descriptions of things that add nothing to the story. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious paranormal
A madcap story that will keep you dropping your jaw and laughing out loud. So ridiculous you wont want to stop reading. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible book.
I don't usually write reviews but I had to with this one. I hated the heroine. The book starts out in a public toilet with an imbecilic main character who records other people in... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Medusa3000
5.0 out of 5 stars This was great, I laughed my butt off!
Oh yeah, if you want to read a funny story and look forward to reading the next, be sure to read this series. I haven't enjoyed reading a story like this in a long time. Read more
Published 5 months ago by SugarB
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More About the Author

From USA Today Bestselling Author Susan Stec,

I love laughing with my daughters, class B scary movies, fine cuisine and hamburgers from Wendy's. I'm addicted to electronics, dark chocolate, vintage eyeglass frames, and fuzzy warm socks.

There isn't just one thing I'm passionate about. I'm married to a wonderful man, have two adult daughters, three grandsons, and three dogs. I live on fifty acres, hunt and fish, and I will get up in the middle of the night to listen to the coyote sing. I sculpt stained glass, paint watercolors, make jewelry, but most of all I write. I write because I have to and because it amuses me to live vicariously through my characters.

One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead~~Oscar Wilde

Meet the characters--view the trailers:

Connect with Susan Stec on:
Facebook, Goodreads, Pinterest, Google and @Suesan0814 on Twitter

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