Customer Reviews

Thieves Dozen

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April 2004 was apparently designated, by those who do the designating of such things, as John Dortmunder Month. The reason for this surmise on my part is the publication of not only a wonderful new Dortmunder tale, THE ROAD TO RUIN, but also a collection of short Dortmunder stories titled THIEVES' DOZEN. We are, accordingly, doubly blessed.

Dortmunder, who is incredibly smart and proportionately unlucky, is the creation of Donald E. Westlake. It is interesting to note that the hilarious misfortune that plagues Dortmunder in his novels seems to be absent in any number of the stories in THIEVES' DOZEN. The hilarity, however, remains. There is at least one good belly laugh in each of these stories, and at least one wonderful turn of phrase per page. Practically any one of these stories, standing alone, is worth buying the entire book, so that with eleven of them --- a thieves' dozen, if you will --- the price of admission is a bargain.

Even the most loyal of Westlake's followers will not have all of the stories collected in THIEVES' DOZEN --- a good number of them previously appeared in Playboy. There is also a very short story --- "The Dortmunder Workout" --- that appeared in the New York Times Magazine and a wonderful tale entitled "Give Till It Hurts" that was published as a very limited edition pamphlet by the absolutely indispensable institution known as The Mysterious Bookshop. And "Jumble Sale" has appeared only in The Armchair Detective, a wonderful magazine of, alas, limited distribution. THIEVES' DOZEN also includes a Dortmunder tale that is not a Dortmunder tale. "Fugue for Felons" has never seen the light of day before now; the story behind it is somewhat complicated, and Westlake can, and does, tell the tale behind it much better than I ever could. While Dortmunder is not in "Fugue For Felons," he is certainly present, and its inclusion here is undoubtedly appropriate.

But enough of the story behind the stories. Let's get to the heart of the matter. In THIEVES' DOZEN Dortmunder tries his hand at stealing art in "Ask A Silly Question" when he is retained to steal a phony piece of sculpture and finds himself in the middle of an acrimonious domestic matter. "Hose Laugh" is a bit of a fish out of water story. Dortmunder, the quintessential city boy, finds himself in rural New York stealing a horse. There are several good laughs in this one --- you don't want to be drinking coffee while you read it --- even as you know that this is one caper who must be, by its very nature, doomed from the start.

"A Midsummer Daydream" also has a rural setting and is perhaps my personal favorite in THIEVES' DOZEN. Dortmunder and his associate Kelp are once again in upstate New York, forced to take an involuntary vacation from New York City until things cool down a bit. They find, while staying with Kelp's cousin, that there has been a robbery and that Dortmunder is the only suspect. The problem is that Dortmunder is innocent for once and is forced to play detective. The results are hilarious and, as one might expect, he is quite good at it. After all, who would be better at understanding the criminal mind?

As with any good collection of this sort, however, my favorite story keeps changing. It might be "A Midsummer Daydream" one minute, "Horse Laugh" the next, or "Fugue For Felons," with a train wreck that you can see coming but still wonder how Westlake is going to do it, with results that are at once spellbinding and mirthful. And let's not forget "Give Till It Hurts," wherein Dortmunder blunders, however briefly and brilliantly, into our world.

THIEVES' DOZEN is indispensable if you are a fan of Westlake, and Dortmunder. If you have acquaintances who are among the unenlightened, THIEVES' DOZEN is an inexpensive but addictive introduction to all things Dortmunder. Don't lend someone your copy, though. You'll never get it back. Dortmunder's sticky-fingered proclivity is contagious.

--- Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub

Unless you have read every issue of Playboy, chances are that you haven't seen all of these stories before. Several were first published there. One story, Give Till It Hurts, was first published as a free pamphlet at The Mysterious Bookshop. Jumble Sale first appeared in The Armchair Detective. The Dortmunder Workout appeared in the health section of The New York Times Magazine. The one story you are sure to find novel and intriguing is Fugue for Felons in which Mr. Westlake plays with the idea of changing the names of all of his characters. So you will meet John Rumsey instead of John Dortmunder. Interestingly, the characters changed too . . . even though they are clearly doppelgangers of the originals.

Mr. Westlake has written a fine introduction to the volume and to Fugue for Felons to explain the genesis of the stories and their publishing histories. I enjoyed finding out what triggered the desire to write each story. If you are like me, you'll gain new perspective on the stories from those comments.

Somewhere in at least one of the stories, you will find a cherished element of the Dortmunder novels. I was assuming just the opposite . . . that there would be short stories that would omit some of the hilarious elements of the novels. I was wrong. I particularly enjoy the repartee at the bar in the O.J. Bar & Grill and was pleasantly surprised to see that The Dortmunder Workout is solely based on such a scene. I also look forward to his unpleasant meetings with Arnie Albright, and was delighted to find that Arnie plays big roles in two of the stories (Jumble Sale and Now What?).

Some of the stories involve Dortmunder being involuntarily pressed into duty (Ask a Silly Question, Too Many Crooks, and Party Animal). Several stories feature the usual Dortmunder bad timing that leads to hilarious consequences (Too Many Crooks, A Midsummer Daydream, Now What? and Fugue for Felons). Some are intellectual treats as the crooks find themselves faced with invisible threats (Jumble Sale and Art and Craft). A few of the stories feature lovely ironies (Ask a Silly Question, Horse Laugh, Too Many Crooks, A Midsummer Daydream, Party Animal, Give Till It Hurts, Now What? and Fugue for Felons).

The only story that I thought was below par was Horse Laugh.

Too Many Crooks, A Midsummer Daydream, Party Animal, Give Till It Hurts, and Now What? are as fine as any crime short stories you are every likely to read.

You will notice that I haven't described the plots of any of these stories. To do so would be to risk spoiling your pleasure. Avoid reviews that do describe these plots.

Westlake has now gone from view, but has left these short stories of John Dortmunder, to make us smile. Each of these stories are not only humorous, but an insight into human character. Even when one reads the series, each chapter is almost a story within itself. Read all the Dortmunder books, they are not all equal, but are all wonderful. "Watch Your Back" is my personal favorite. Donald Westlake was a total original and we will miss him.

I buy just about anything Donald E. Westlake writes. Not everything he writes is humorous, but this collection of short stories is beyond humorous. It is hysterical.

I am not usually fond of short story collections, preferring a full, meaty novel, but because I like the author so well, I made an exception, and I am glad I did. All twelve caper stories were full of surprises and (did I say?) very, very funny.

My husband reads only nonfiction as a rule. I hooked him by leaving the book in the bathroom once I was finished. Next thing I knew, he was lying on the bed reading it, curled up into a little ball, laughing himself to tears.

Westlake is dead. Some of his material has already become valuable, collectors' editions selling for hundreds. If you can get this collection at an ordinary-book price, grab it now. If you wait and think it over, it may become unavailable.

Be prepared to miss some sleep when you start this and can't put it down.....

Thieves' Dozen is the collection of 11 short stories written between 1981 and 2000. With the collection titled Thieves' Dozen obviously it's tongue in cheek implied that Dortmunder stole one or swindled Westlake or the publishers into believing there were 12 stories here. That sort of fun is exactly what Westlake's comic capers are all about and an indication of the sort of personality the character John Dormunder brings to the pages within.

Being that the stories are short there is little time to provide a background for Dortmunder so to fully appreciate them or even find some situations funny, you kind of need to know Dortmunder before hand. That doesn't mean if you just stumbled across this you wouldn't enjoy it or if you wanted to expose friends reluctant to read crime novels to the magic of Dortmunder through short stories you shouldn't. It just means you appreciate the characters a lot more.

The stories inside have been published before and some since (this was published in 2004) in other anthologies or magazines so you may have come across some before. There's a nice intro by Westlake titled Dortmunder and Me in Short which explains how he came up with the Dortmunder character and how even though he never set out to write short stories involving him these stories just happened. He also explains how Fugue for Felons the non Dortmunder story that actually is one, came to have different named characters. Like all anthologies some stories are better than others. The Dortmunder Workout is the least good, really just a guy walked into a bar joke involving Dortmunder. Too Many Crooks in my opinion would be the best. Amongst the stories Dortmunder will be both successful and unsuccessful. He will commit crimes and even solve one. Not as good overall as the best Dortmunder novels such as Road to Ruin but one all fans of Westlake will enjoy.

The stories inside are
1. Ask a Silly Question
2. Horse Laugh
3. Too Many Crooks
4. A Midsummer Daydream
5. The Dortmunder Workout
6. Party Animal
7. Give Till it Hurts
8. Jumble Sale
9. Now What?
10. Art and Craft
11. Fugue for Felons

There was one more Dortmunder short story published before Donald E Westlake passed away. Technically it was a novella (longer than a short story but a lot shorter than a novel). Called Walking Around Money, it appeared in a various top author anthology called Transgressions: Ten Brand-New Novellas edited by Ed McBain. Timeline wise it occurs between the novels Watch Your Back and What's So Funny.

I've bought almost everyone of Donald E. Westlake's book. this a a great collection of short stoies about his mastermind dour thief, John Archibald Dortmunder. easy to read. great wit. after buying this, I started buying all the others I could find.

if you like subtle wit buy this

Short but great. They get better as the book progresses, but so did westlake. The newpaper reviewers missed one point. I,m sure you will get it. Alot of fun.Not laugh out loud , like some of his books, but fun and amusing.

I keep this book on my bedside table - that is a tribute to how wonderful it is to dip into on a restless night. The short stories are all clever and well-written and rest lightly on the mind with a big smile. I miss DEW :(

Having read some of his previous books featuring Dortmunder, I was disappointed with these stories which were not really well-Written. Some of the stories were pretty pointless. In all, this collection took me 1 1/2 hrs to read (and is not worth the money) I would suggest skipping this collection and instead read something better such as Money for Nothing which was excellent.