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Thin Is the New Happy [Hardcover]

Valerie Frankel
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 2, 2008

“Val Frankel is a woman of amazing insight. . . . Read this, weep, and heal.”

—Stacy London, cohost of What Not to Wear

You’ve heard the phrase “the mirror is not your friend.” For Valerie Frankel, the mirror was so much more than “not a friend.” It was the mean girl who stole her lunch money, bitch-slapped her in the ladies’ room, and cut the hair off her Barbie.

If you’re like 99.9 percent of women, the war you wage with yourself over your body image begins at the ripe age of eight, and the skirmishes are fought for the next eight decades. Sometimes you don’t even know when you’ve won. (How many of us have taken out a photo from high school and thought, “Hey! I looked great—why didn’t I know it?”) This book is for anyone who has spent most of her life on—or thinking about being on—a diet. It’s for anyone who ever wished for candlelight in dressing rooms. It’s for anyone who has ever owned a pair of “fat pants.” In short, this book is for anyone who ever felt good or bad about themselves based on how they look.

Valerie Frankel, like most women, has spent most of her conscious life on a diet, thinking about a diet, ignoring a diet, or failing on a diet. At age eleven, her mother put Val on her first weight-loss program. As a teen, she was enrolled in Weight Watchers (for which she invented creative ditching methods). As a young woman, her world felt right only when she was able to zip a certain pair of jeans. Not wanting to pass this legacy on to her own daughters, Valerie set out to cleanse herself of her obsession. Thin Is the New Happy is the true story of one woman’s quest to exorcise her bad body-image demons, to uncover the truths behind what put them there, and to learn how to truly love herself. It’s a poignant, hilarious, and all-out honest account of one woman’s struggle with body image—the filter through which she’s always seen the world—and the way she ultimately overcame it.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Prolific author Frankel (most recently, I Take This Man) was only 11 when her mother put her on a diet. She went from 100 to 88 pounds in six weeks, making her mother ecstatic, although she gained back four pounds right away. Frankel learned a basic lesson: she could enjoy eating or have approval, but not both. Although she blamed her mother's fatphobia for her unhappy childhood, from middle school on her peers were her cruelest tormenters. As she got older, her bad body image translated to anorgasmia; research shows that women who feel unattractive often develop sexual dysfunction. Later, working at Mademoiselle, where so many co-workers had eating disorders, she realized that an obsession with diet was one way of avoiding life's thornier issues. In her 40s, Frankel decided to jettison all the emotional baggage she was carrying about her weight, to free herself, finally, from dieting. After hiring a photographer to shoot a portfolio of her nude, having a friend help her find her personal style in clothing and coming to terms with her husband and her mother over fat issues, Frankel finally got rid of her body-image negativity. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Rueful, zestful, surprisingly funny."
--The New York Times
 
"Infused with humor and refreshing candor, the book will resonate with anyone who’s counted carbs or tried to subsist on rice cakes and grapefruit. A self-aware, witty exploration of a woman’s body issues."
--Kirkus Reviews

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (September 2, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312373929
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312373924
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,076,378 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Valerie Frankel has written twenty-five books, and hopes to write many more. For more info about her books, magazine articles, cats, kids, life in Brooklyn, reviews of other people's books, go to www.valeriefrankel.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
60 of 72 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible and self-hating October 14, 2008
Format:Hardcover
I was really disappointed by this book. I am a eating disorder psychologist and I thought this book would offer some perspective, as in, the title is ironic and thin really is not the new happy. Instead this superficial book means exactly what the title says. Thin does equal happiness for her. As a child she was teased and abused, mostly by her mother, for being chubby. As an adult, she abuses herself in every way possible - diets, body hatred, drugs, alcohol. It seems her only redemption was losing a small amound of weight as an adult (appox 15 pounds) and becoming "thin enough" to like herself. The ultimate low in this book is a revenge fantasy where she imagines a former high school tormenter as now obese and stupid. For this author fat = stupid and a whole range of other negative stereotypes. I wish this woman had therapy instead of writing this book.
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22 of 25 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
As someone who has struggled with my weight, dieted, and mainly, worried about my appearance, I've read plenty of weight loss memoirs, and will continue to do so, I'm sure. I can safely say that while Frankel's overall message (don't diet, eat what you want) isn't new, her approach, humor, frankness and willingness to dig deep are something unexpected.

Frankel starts with her mom pressuring her to lose weight as a child (sadly a very common scenario). She does, and immediately reaps the social benefits, but of course once she goes off her diet, the weight comes right back. This started her on her lifelong path of going up and down with her weight, something she only vows to stop when she realizes that her two daughters are approaching the age she was when weight became a central issue in her life.

It's in talking about her first husband's death that Frankel really shines here, not overdramatizing her story but sharing the real issues she dealt with. "Weight loss became my Vicodin, my Prozac. The red jeans were my delivery system. It took the edge off my pain. Shrinking calmed me, pleased me, gave me something to feel good about."

The other chapter that truly stands out is the third one about her mother, where she confronts her with the revelations Frankel's had about the roots of her behavior. The final exchange with her mom about her weight issues is illuminating. Far from seeing herself as part of the problem, her mother feels that she was protecting Valerie from a world that hates the overweight. Her mother's own food issues (she refuses to eat in public alone, even passing up Frankel's offer of $1,000 to sit at Starbucks for five minutes) come through clearly, but are not really the point; Frankel's acceptance of the fact that they will never see eye-to-eye is.

In some ways, what makes Thin is the New Happy so powerful aren't Frankel's tales of her highs and lows, but her relationships with those around her, from her parents to her two husbands to the classmates who teased her mercilessly. Each of them has a different perspective, ones that often clash quite extremely with her own.

Frankel doesn't back down, but she does, when confronting people like her mother or her former classmate, Z., let them have their say. A stray comment from her husband about her belly being big stays with her for five years (!) until she finally asks him about it.

Her adventures with What Not to Wear author Stacy London, who gives Frankel's tame, boring, baggy wardrobe a complete overhaul, are fun, as is her tale of posing nude for Self magazine; these stories are a welcome complement to the heavier material. Though the tone can sometimes be a bit too perky by the end, knowing Frankel's lifelong struggle makes it easy to cheer for her newfound happiness (though one does wonder if she would have the same level of optimism were she not to have dropped two dress sizes and twenty pounds). A fast but intense read, Thin is the New Happy is refreshingly blunt about sex, marriage, mother/daughter relationships, and food. Even if you've read umpteen books about diet and weight loss, this one's worth adding to your list.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining read that hits home. October 10, 2008
By L. Rees
Format:Hardcover
I mostly liked this book. It was funny, entertaining, and at times, sad. Frankel writes well. This is a book you can breeze through. I could relate to Frankel's body image and self-esteem issues. Her obsession with her weight is something many women can relate to.

While Frankel uses a lot of self-deprecating humor, she also gets a tad preachy at times. Preachy may not be the correct word. Long-winded may be a better term. There is a section where she goes on about how she is a "striver" and has "dreams" (unlike some people she once knew)! I think that's something readers can deduce on their own: She went to Dartmouth, she worked for years at a major woman's magazine, she has written many published novels.

It seemed that Frankel was/is on a quest for self-actualization. For most of the book she seems open, forgiving, and willing to admit her flaws, but she is a tad snobby and self-righteous. When she meets, Z, an acquaintance from junior high that used to tease her unmercifully about her extra poundage, she speaks about him in such a mean-spirited way. She claims that she isn't any better than Z, but you get the overwhelming feeling that she does think she's better. She snottily proclaims him as "just a bundle of skin, a thoughtless consumer of earth's oxygen." I lost all respect for Frankel at this moment. (I wanted to drop the book, but I kept reading.) I can't help to view her as mean-spirited and unforgiving at the moment she trash-talks Z, who is now a 40- something year-old man. This entire section where she speaks about Z was a huge turn-off. Her views of a certain "soulless state", her snobby views that Paris and London are "predictable destinations". I had to laugh near the end when Frankel described a trip to Disney World in Orlando and Fisherman's Wharf. How terribly pedestrian, Frankel! You can almost forgive the author for rudely talking about Z. She was wounded by his words. But, I have to wonder how a person could be so unforgiving to a person that was 12, 13, or 14-years old when the transgressions occurred.

Overall, this was an entertaining read. I wish the author the best of luck with her efforts to be at peace with her body.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Important Book for Dieters
Reading this was like having a ring-side seat into the author's life. I recognized so much of what she said, what she felt and what she did, because I've been there too. Read more
Published 24 days ago by dreaming of the sun
5.0 out of 5 stars This book WILL help you lose weight!!!
I have been struggling with my weight and body image since I was 12 (I'm now 35)....the roller coaster of gain and loss and regain and re-lose. Read more
Published 4 months ago by McMac
5.0 out of 5 stars funny and honest
I have struggled with my weight for some time. It was comforting to know that others struggle with the same negative thoughts about themselves and that they can be overcome. Read more
Published 9 months ago by midwestgirl
5.0 out of 5 stars She is Incredibly Honest!
For anyone that has struggled with body image and weight, this book will hit very close to home. I really thought about Valerie's realizations and how they would effect my life. Read more
Published 10 months ago by JG
2.0 out of 5 stars Glad I borrowed it from the library
The author tries hard to convince the reader that she has body image issues but actually comes across as narcissistic. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Clara
1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible--Don't waste your money.
I was looking forward to a book with humor, insight, and entertainment. This book has none of those features. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Michelle
2.0 out of 5 stars Cute angry and narcissitic
Reading this book, I related to many of her experiences. However, by the time I was done, I realized that while Frankel has made strides, she stil has a great deal to work... Read more
Published 20 months ago by princessbgirl
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspirational and Funny!!
I picked up this book for a light and funny read, not realizing how much it would challenge me to change my perspective of myself and how I eat! It was so brave of Ms. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Michelle Hayes
5.0 out of 5 stars One woman's insightful journey into herself...does what a whole team...
When I first picked up a copy of this book in the store, I was skeptical even after seeing the word "Memoir" proudly displayed on the front and having read the synopsis on the... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Heather Light
4.0 out of 5 stars A personal journey to get over dieting
Valerie Frankel has been put on her first diet at the age of 11 by her mother who saw her chubbiness as a personal failure - and has been harassing her about her weight ever since... Read more
Published on April 30, 2011 by Adi Adler
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