The Things Between Us: A Memoir [Paperback]

Lee Montgomery (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 10, 2007

The Montgomerys are among the last of a dying breed -- New England WASPs who effortlessly combine repression, flamboyant eccentricity, and alcoholism. Fragmented by drink and dysfunction, the family has not assembled in more than a decade. But when Big Dad, the patriarch, is diagnosed with stomach cancer, the siblings return to their childhood home, Four Corner Farm, to help their parents navigate the specialists, treatment options, pain management, and, most difficult of all, their own anguish.

Big Dad has always moved carefully through life, taking responsibility for the farm, the cars, the house, and his wife. The irrepressible Mumzy, now in her late seventies, drinks her first gin each day at 8:45 a.m. and spends her time singing jazz standards and reliving the glory days when she rescued horses from the now defunct hunt club. Prickly and proud, the two have always tried to keep their chins up, but Big Dad's cancer rattles their formidable denial.

Montgomery's stunning memoir vividly evokes the often unspoken bonds between family members -- bonds made of memory, love, and disappointment. Heartbreaking, lyrical, and frequently hilarious, The Things Between Us hums with a sense of wonder as the author discovers anew the most familiar people in her life, herself among them.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In her bittersweet memoir of her father's death from metastatic stomach cancer, Montgomery (editor of Tin House magazine) charts the rough terrain of her eccentric New England family life and explores the trauma it took to reunite her dysfunctional family. Montgomery's mother is a falling-down drunk who has gin for breakfast; her gentleman farmer father, Big Dad, ignores his wife's alcoholism. The author's sister, Lael, and brother, Bob, are nine and six years her senior: Montgomery feels as if she grew up solo, in a different world than they. Escaping harsh realities is a family trait and none of the family has spent so much as a holiday together in more than a decade before Big Dad's news, when they all, reluctantly, come home. Montgomery skillfully shifts her narrative between the harrowing dailiness of her father's yearlong illness, her mother's escalating drunkenness, her own impending sense of loss and a damaging familial past she recalls with deeply mixed emotions. Montgomery's lyric and nuanced rendering of her love for her miscreant tribe has comic as well as tragic moments, but she steers clear of both sentimentality and New England stoicism, creating a tender portrait of modern death and real American families. (Aug. 9)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

This heartfelt memoir is a testament to the ties that bind a family--no matter how dysfunctional--together. After her father is diagnosed with stomach cancer, writer and editor Montgomery travels back to her childhood home in Framingham, Massachusetts, to reconnect with her semi-estranged family. Her mother, a raging alcoholic, copes the same way she always did--beginning each day with a glass of gin at 8:45 in the morning. As her father--the glue that held their lives tenuously together--begins to deteriorate, Lee and her two siblings vacillate between indifference and despair. In the end, what brings them together is their shared stake in a family and a past that shaped the persons they had become. This forthright testament to the memories and emotions that inevitably bubble beneath the surface tackles universal questions of love and loss without judgment or bitterness. Margaret Flanagan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 239 pages
• Publisher: Free Press (July 10, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416543104
• ISBN-13: 978-1416543107
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,276,733 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Writing!!!!!!!!!! Best book I have read in years!!!!!!!!, August 14, 2006

By 

C. Daniels "Dr. C.D." (Nantucket) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Things Between Us: A Memoir (Hardcover)

This author can write -- Images are touching, sincere, and have depth. The book brought up memories and a new way to look at my parents. Love and compassion are great themes -- also it is clear the author was forged as a writer being brought up with a blend of influences -- a wide spectrum of life in the neighborhood!!!!
I love the language the author uses and felt I could touch every scene. Without giving too much away -- polywogs and fireflies, the smell of the garden and well-loved animals that inhabit the scenes...the clear/and representative perceptions of the characters.
Definitely helps me deal with mortality and parents and upbringing.
The author peels the fig and gives the reader the essence of life.
Think I will cruise down my own "Winch Street" and see the flowers next spring.
Fabulous writing!

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not only a great memoir but should be required reading for anyone caring for a dying family member, July 28, 2006

By 

Gloucester Mary "Gloucester Mary" (Massachusetts) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Things Between Us: A Memoir (Hardcover)

I wish I'd read this book three months ago. I recently lost my father who had battled various illnesses during the last ten years of his long life. I live far away from my Dad and I came home to my childhood home more than I had in years to be with him during the final stages of his life. I could have learned so much about what goes on during these final weeks and days if I'd read Lee Mongtomery's book earlier this year. It's not only the gripping memoir of a loving daughter in a dysfunctional family...but it's essential reading for anyone going thru the final days with a beloved family member. It's truly an amazing time...filled with laugher, tears, anger and confusion...and thru this book I discovered that my family wasn't the only one going thru this odd roller coaster of emotions and frustration during a father's final days. Right down the road there was the Montgomery family who had gone thru this stuff in their own way, several years before us. It's the kind of thing no one ever talks about with such honesty and raw emotion. Every family member brings a different set of baggage to the household of a dying loved one. Everyone needs to be able to express themself as they need to...to patch up old wounds, find time for last minute hugs, and to say that last "i love you" however it works best for them. Kudos to Lee Montgomery for sharing her story. Her well-crafted words and her honesty will surely help others on similar journeys.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Things Between Us: A Memoir - A must read, August 23, 2006

By 

Kent Lewis "KentjLewis" (Portland, OR United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Things Between Us: A Memoir (Hardcover)

I'm normally not a fan of memoirs, but Lee Montgomery's novel is truly amazing. Her ability to engage the reader while offering honest insights into her life and that of her family, is powerful. Anyone experiencing death or dying of close friends or family will find support and insight. Those coping with cancer or alcholism in their family will also benefit from reading this book.