Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew: Ellen Notbohm: 9781932565300: Amazon.com: Books

Review

“The FIRST book you should read when your child is diagnosed. Written by a mum with fantastic insight into the world of autism, through the child’s eyes, and having a son of her own with ASD really shines through in the book. It is an intelligent and empathetic book written FOR our children. Ellen Notbohm is an amazing mother and author! Have bought this book for ALL my family.”
--Trinny Holman, Queensland, Australia

Ellen Notbohm reminds us once again that we should learn more than we teach and that we should listen more than we talk. This new edition of Ten Things emphasizes these points and offers readers new material and dozens of rich questions for discussion.
--Paula Kluth, PhD
Author, You’re Going to Love This Kid and Pedro’s Whale

A superb explanation of how sensory processing challenges can affect a child's behavior, and how occupational therapy in a sensory integration framework can effect wondrous changes!
--Carol Kranowitz
Auntor, The Out-of-Sync Child and The Goodenoughs Get In Sync

From the Publisher

*Winner of the iParenting Media Award for being one of the Greatest Products of 2005!*

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Product Details

Paperback: 111 pages
Publisher: Future Horizons; 1 edition (January 1, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1932565302
ISBN-13: 978-1932565300
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (186 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #22,622 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #35 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Children's Health > Autism & Asperger's Syndrome
- #98 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Special Needs

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More About the Author

› Visit Amazon's Ellen Notbohm Page

Award-winning author and mother of sons with ADHD and autism, Ellen Notbohm's work has informed and delighted millions in more than twenty languages. Her books have won numerous honors, including a Silver Medal in the Independent Publishers Book Awards, three ForeWord Book of Year finalist designations, Learning magazine's Teacher's Choice Award and an Eric Hoffer Book Award finalist honor.

"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew," demystifying autism with accessible language and salty humor, has become one of the global autism community's most beloved books. An updated and expanded edition released in October 2012.

"Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew" was named to onlinecolleges.net's list of The 20 Essential Books about Special Education: "A revolutionary read . . . (a) comprehensive, sensitive look at what life is like with the disorder. . . an integral resource when drawing up viable lesson plans and properly meeting specific emotional needs."

Ellen contributes to numerous publications, classrooms, conferences, and websites worldwide. Read excerpts of all Ellen's books at www.ellennotbohm.com. Reader comments and questions are welcome, through her website and Facebook page.

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars

(186)

4.7 out of 5 stars

See all 186 customer reviews

“ I highly recommend this book for parents of autistic children. ” Frita | 78 reviewers made a similar statement

“ This book is very well written and easy to read. ” E. Gilmour | 52 reviewers made a similar statement

“ This book opens your eyes to the world of autism and helps the reader to understand just what it is like for their child. ” Angela Britt | 50 reviewers made a similar statement

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

334 of 342 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Ten Things - Your Choices Make All the Difference In Your Child's Life October 27, 2005

By Lori Heimbichner

Format:Paperback

Ellen Notbohm's Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew, an extension of her article "What Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" speaks to children's wishes and the choices parents can make to honor them. Its soul triggered in me a CliffNotes' synopsis of Aristotle's contention that "choice (as determined by deliberation) is concerned with means to an end. Wish is concerned with the end."*

And so begins Ten Things, with the first wish of a child - that he or she be known by one word, and one word only - "child," and not squelched by the label "autistic child." It ends with the child's final wish - that he receive unconditional love and acceptance. The remaining eight wishes tucked in between provide insight into the tools (via choices parents can make) that will honor, empower and respect their precious children and make all their wishes come true.

Ten Things zeros in on the importance of sensory issues and thoroughly explains their direct link to a child's behavior. Ellen reminds parents that "seemingly inexplicable behavior ... all have a sensory cause ... No matter how unprovoked, how random it may appear, behavior never comes out of nowhere." She guides parents through reformatting their own beliefs and suggests ways to identify and work with the child's sensory structure.

Ten Things addresses those infamous "meltdowns," explains the four trigger clusters, and offers suggestions on how to identify their underlying causes. Ellen acknowledges that it's hard work for parents to actively seek out reasons for those meltdowns rather than chalk them up to an out of control child that could do better if he wanted to. By her own diligence, and with the help of qualified professionals, meltdowns are a rare happening in her home now.

Ten Things reminds us that our children are concrete and visual thinkers and they interpret language literally. Ellen explains why idioms don't work and how we can train ourselves to speak concretely and say what we mean to help our child understand since any communication that doesn't make sense to a child simply won't get through. Without helping him develop a functional way to communicate his needs, fears and wants, they will take any shape they want, which means they'll generally manifest in the form of behavior.

Ten Things provides techniques to construct a visual strategy to help a child to navigate his day, which will quite naturally and over time contribute to improved social interactions and the creation of a solid self esteem, the foundation for social functioning. And for the child's sake, Ellen implores parents to remember and believe that he's trying the best he can with his limited abilities and social understanding. Any other belief system will short circuit the route for him to become a functioning citizen in our world.

That said, and in the spirit of Aristotle, Ellen makes it clear that we as parents and teachers and caregivers are the means to our child's end.

Without doubt, the word 'autism' strikes fear in the hearts of parents, and Ellen makes no bones about it. She speaks candidly about her own initial grief and despair when her son was diagnosed - those instantaneous images of her child locked inside his own head, never able to interact properly with the world and become self-sufficient.

Those thoughts and perceptions became the energy behind her "can-do" attitude, her intensive and pro-active approach, and her battle plan against a self-fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness for her little boy. She recognized the potential within him; a potential present in all children waiting to be noticed and built upon, and not just fixed. It didn't take long for her to realize that she would not change her son, even if she could. "I wouldn't have him be anything other than exactly what he was ..."

A child's wish of unconditional love - granted.

Ten Things champions the cause of helping families discover their strengths. It validates everybody's capabilities and possibilities. It addresses early confrontations with "can't do" and redirects the focus onto what children "can do." It offers a roadmap for avoiding what Ellen calls the "swamp of unmet expectations," the place where a child's "potential goes to die if parents don't detach their personal aspirations from their child's."

Ten Things is all about parental choices:

' choosing between negative and positive thinking (he won't do versus he can't do);
' choosing to live in the dark rather than the light (frustration versus empowerment and patience);
' choosing to limit themselves and their child by trying to bend him to their will by forced compliance rather than focusing on his gradual acclimation to the mysterious nuances of daily life that create havoc in his world;
' choosing to move beyond the bitterness, grief and disappointment that they didn't "get the child they were supposed to get," and open their minds to becoming the parents they have been called to become.
' choosing a rewarding direction for their life, their child's life, their family's life.

Read Ten Things. Absorb it. Then read it again and again. Learn from it. Trust it. Find your strength. Choose well for your child. Make all his wishes come true.

*Online CliffNotes for Aristotle's Essays on Ethics.

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103 of 104 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Much Needed Book May 30, 2006

By MG

Format:Paperback

I have read through dozens of books pertaining to Autism and within this one book I found more useful information than anywhere else. This book is not just for parents and therapists, but also for family members adjusting to life with a child who has Autism. It helps you get inside the head of a child with Autism, and understand the struggles and pain these children face every single day.

The ten things the author lays out are simple, but essential in understanding and helping the child. She provides examples in terms that people without Autism can relate to in order to better understand certain behaviors. The recovery process is different for every child, but the information in this book will without a doubt help any family get on the road. Open your heart and read this book to really understand.

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90 of 96 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Ten Reasons to Buy This Book June 6, 2007

By BeatleBangs1964 TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

This stellar book provides a logical list of ten basic precepts that every person, child or adult with autism would like for the neurotypical (NT) world to know.

People, children in particular are people first, not "autistic child, autistic person." Autism is a shorthand label for specific behaviors that are rooted in neurobiology. In short, autism is a sensori-neurobiological condition.

The main theme and the common thread that links the ten items on this "wish list" of sorts is extending basic human courtesy to people with autism. Readers will be provided ways in order to help honor the rights, dignity and best interests of people with autism. Parents and educators in particular will take this book to heart.

This author translates seemingly bizarre behavior to the neurotypical world. All behavior has a sensory base. Many people with autism have hyperacute hearing. Show me someone with autism who doesn't hate loud noises and I'll show you a singing Boston bulldog who can tap dance as well. All sensory modes are heightened in people who have autism. Smells are stronger; certain materials are unbearable to the touch and in some cases painful; tastes are very strong; the sight of certain things can elicit strong reactions that are either very positive or very negative. I knew people with autism who hated blinking lights and retreat or cover their eyes when in the presence of a light that blinked on and off.

Beatle fans with autism are a very interesting group indeed. The mere sight of a Beatle picture brings strong positive reactions; the Beatles' music triggers a series of highly positive responses as well.

This brilliant book demystifies meltdowns and identifies triggers. In cowboy parlance, this book will help you head them off at the pass. If you can't, you learn when to get out of Dodge fast. As difficult as the process is, it is always worth it and for children in particular, meltdowns are the result of being pushed past a certain point. It's like the 1968 George Harrison classic, "It's All Too Much." That song describes the Overload Experience quite well. "It's all too much for me to see..it's all too much for me to take..."

Some excellent prompts, cues and guides are provided to help children navigate throughout their day. Show me a person with autism who DOESN'T hate surprises/having things sprung on them and I'll show you that same singing Boston bulldog. Echoes of Carol Gray can be heard here; she is famous for her social stories and having children draw social comics to help script and anticipate certain social interactions. This gifted author helps people to see autism in a more accepting light by explaining the behaviors; providing tools of empowerment and keeping the tone of acceptance throughout the book.

This wonderful book makes me think of the 1978 Billy Joel song, "Just the Way You Are." I like the way she says that is an important message to convey to children on the spectrum - we like and love them just the way they are and the goal is to help them have happy, full productive lives and good social interactions and develop confidence.

This book is a giant step towards accomplishing all that and then some.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Good starter book for learning about your Autistic child

Also a good gift for extended family who you may want to understand Autism and you child. This book give you a perspective from their (the autistic childs) perspective.

Published 9 days ago by jenny

5.0 out of 5 stars Listening to Unspoken Words

I have a client/ friend who is an autism specialist. I was so inspired by her work and dedication that I wanted to learn more. Read more

Published 18 days ago by Connie S. Stewart

5.0 out of 5 stars My Mother is a Fan!

My mother has temporary custody of my neice's child who is a lil fellow who happens to be special needs child. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Michelle from Norfolk, VA

4.0 out of 5 stars A very good book

This book was well written and never got boring or over my head. She did very good to explain what the ten things were and showing how to overcome them. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Pen Name

5.0 out of 5 stars THIS BOOK WAS A ROAD MAP TO UNDERSTANDING MY GREAT-GRAND SON

When my Great-Grand son was born, he was the most beautiful baby. We thought he was Normal until he was around two and not talking and still crawling. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Mary A. Seabrook

5.0 out of 5 stars book

best book to know about the child with autism. VEry inspiring. heart opening book. teaches so many things about child with autism

Published 1 month ago by S. Arokiasamy

5.0 out of 5 stars Best ever.

I carry a snapshot version of this book with me to give to coaches and teachers so they have some incite into the thinking of our Special people.

Published 1 month ago by Linda Anderson

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book

This book helps people whether they know someone in the autism spectrum or not. The book is also in very good condition.

Published 2 months ago by Amparo F. O'Leary

5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I had read this a long time ago

Very easy read but more informative than any I have read. Opened my eyes to things that I never realized or as my wife says 'we knew that but never realized that we did. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Gary Smith

5.0 out of 5 stars Boring read, but well written.

I found alot of helpful tips, but it was so boring that I still have not complete reading it. Great book for the begining, new mom's that have just learned. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Nicole Britton

Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!

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