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Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About: A Novel [Paperback]

Mil Millington
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 14, 2003
Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About concerns a guy named Pel who lives with his German girlfriend, Ursula. Pel leads an uneventful life—quietly bluffing his way through his job and discovering new things to argue about with Ursula. But when his boss mysteriously disappears, Pel steps innocently into his shoes and his life spirals out of control in a chaotic whirl of stolen money, missing colleagues, and Chinese mafiosi.

Its fractured thriller plot punctuated by blazingly hilarious set-piece arguments between the hapless Pel and the unflappable Ursula, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About is a brilliant comic novel examining the unique warfare in long-term relationships.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Millington's debut novel is an outgrowth of his Web site of the same name, on which he has been posting, for the last year, comic vignettes about life with his German girlfriend. Predictably, it consists mostly of comic bickering between first-person narrator Pel Dalton and his own German girlfriend, the insouciant Ursula Kretenjeger. The couple lives in a ramshackle, dirt-cheap house in "an area of the northeast of England so dire that the government was applying for a grant from the European Union for it to be placed under martial law" with their two young sons. Pel is something of a slacker ("for me, half-heartedness is a full-quarter too hearted"), the bumbling head of an IT team at the local university library. After their house is broken into, the marginally more conventional Ursula insists they look for something in a better neighborhood. House hunting, like most of the other plot turns in the book-which include Pel taking over for his mysteriously vanished boss and becoming the courier for a Chinese gang-is mostly an opportunity for lots of funny sparring on every subject from whose turn it is to defrost the refrigerator to whether "cock" or "dick" is the better euphemism for penis. Overall, the comic material is uneven; some of it is overwritten and a bit obvious, but at its best, Pel's narration is side-splitting. There are no shattering insights about men and women, but the book never pretends to be more than it is: an entertaining and genuinely funny romp through the trials of coupledom.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

The battle of the sexes continues unabated in British author Millington's quirkily comic debut novel. Pel and his German girlfriend, Ursula, have two children and any number of differences between them. He watches a lot of television and so can be depended on to know when Britain declares war on, say, Finland. Ursula is more outgoing and talks to the neighbors a lot, so she knows, for instance, what neighbor is harboring nuclear weapons in the garage. Pel works in the computer section of a library or, more properly, a Learning Centre, which is attached to a shiny new university whose students are recruited by a Japanese crime syndicate. What's more, the new computer lab is being built over the remains of an antediluvian graveyard, which raises the interesting issue of what to do with the bodies. Speaking of which, after a top administrator disappeared a number of years ago (and nobody noticed), her salary has funded many such valuable projects. Students of academic satire such as James Hynes's Lecturer's Tale will find much that might be familiar and funny here. The inevitable comparisons with Nick Hornby shouldn't detract from Millington's unique, laugh-out-loud take on sexual and academic shenanigans. For all large public libraries.
Bob Lunn, Kansas City P.L., MO
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Villard; 1 edition (January 14, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 081296666X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812966664
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #336,452 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

This book is laugh out loud funny! KimbatheWhiteLion  |  14 reviewers made a similar statement
Hands down the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. Jay W Ward  |  9 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars extremely funny book.... January 28, 2003
Format:Paperback
This is a must-have for those who are fans of millington's website "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About" (http:/[...]). Indeed, it is not a copy of what is there on his webpage.

A word of caution for those who are unfamiliar with the author. I think it would be better to read millington's 'Things' website before reading this book in order to get familiar with Margret(Ursula) and Mil (Pel). This will really help the reader to appreciate the situations portrayed in the book and to understand the characters' behavior.

I don't think it is necessary to say that the book is extremely funny and very original. I should say, however, that millington is a clever and witty writer. I disagree with the reviewer who didn't like the end of the book. I think the end is very appropriate and, indeed, very satisfying.

If you are unsure about buying this book, check out his webpage first and see whether you like the style and humor.

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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This man is a genius September 26, 2002
Format:Paperback
Anyone who has read Mil Millington's web page or column in the UK Guardian will know that he is a brilliant writer of rare talent and wit. His tales of 13 years of quarelling with his (dearly-beloved) partner Margaret are among the funniest and most original works on the internet. This book is long overdue.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Things I have read that made milk squirt out my nose. February 21, 2003
Format:Paperback
Hands down the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. It nearly ruined my marrige. My wife would just be drifting off to sleep when I'd explode laughing over one of Mils' er... Pels exploits.

Buy this book, make someone you love shake their head in disgust.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Like a Bright, Funny Read?
Like a Bright, Funny Read?
It is unusual for me to laugh out loud when reading a book. Sometimes the reader is laughing with the protagonist; sometimes he is laughing at the... Read more
Published 1 month ago by devh
4.0 out of 5 stars Married to a German, hits close to home
I used to read aloud from this book, about domestic mishaps involving the German bride, to my own hausfrau. Funny and accurate, but she didn't see the humor. Odd...
Published 4 months ago by C. Stutts
5.0 out of 5 stars Ya' wanna laugh?
This book is laugh out loud funny! I've read it 4 times over the last 5 years and laughed every time. The dialogue is so real and the situations are just outrageous! Read more
Published 19 months ago by KimbatheWhiteLion
5.0 out of 5 stars Girlfriend approved
Okay, I have not read this.... yet! But I got it for my girlfriend for xmas and she loved it. She tells me snippets here and there and I laugh but she doesn't tell me a lot b/c... Read more
Published on March 11, 2011 by The Jay
2.0 out of 5 stars Great Jokes Too Bad About The plot.
This book has some great British humor, but the plot let's it down big time. You'd have to be brain dead not to get every clue so NOTHING in this book comes as a fun surprise. Read more
Published on March 10, 2011 by Book A. Holic
5.0 out of 5 stars Its hilarious, but you have to have the right sense of humor...
This book is hilarious if you have the right sense of humor to appreciate it. Its not for everyone. If you have been in a relationship with someone and done one of the "angry sleep... Read more
Published on November 7, 2010 by Jes Fiction
1.0 out of 5 stars Not "comic bickering", just nasty, derisive, idiotic and depressing
This book starts out fairly funny, but it quickly goes nowhere at all. The couple referred to seem to have no reason to be together. Read more
Published on May 17, 2010 by EHinLA
4.0 out of 5 stars It's a bit like watching a train wreck.
I read this book aloud to my husband, and it often had both of us in tears from laughing so much. Partly for the well written humor and commentary on relationships, and partly... Read more
Published on April 18, 2010 by Elizabeth A. Hart
5.0 out of 5 stars a demented romp through a demented relationship
I've been reading the author's website, which shares its name with the title of this book, for quite some time. Read more
Published on March 28, 2010 by Nadyne Richmond
3.0 out of 5 stars Very funny; quite disturbing
Here we have what appears to be a total idiot living with what appears to be a total bitch. Very disturbing.

Written in a sense of complete humor. Read more
Published on December 26, 2009 by K. Lyman
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