Customer Reviews

Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

5 star:		(35)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This is a must-have for those who are fans of millington's website "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About" (http:/[...]). Indeed, it is not a copy of what is there on his webpage.

A word of caution for those who are unfamiliar with the author. I think it would be better to read millington's 'Things' website before reading this book in order to get familiar with Margret(Ursula) and Mil (Pel). This will really help the reader to appreciate the situations portrayed in the book and to understand the characters' behavior.

I don't think it is necessary to say that the book is extremely funny and very original. I should say, however, that millington is a clever and witty writer. I disagree with the reviewer who didn't like the end of the book. I think the end is very appropriate and, indeed, very satisfying.

If you are unsure about buying this book, check out his webpage first and see whether you like the style and humor.

Anyone who has read Mil Millington's web page or column in the UK Guardian will know that he is a brilliant writer of rare talent and wit. His tales of 13 years of quarelling with his (dearly-beloved) partner Margaret are among the funniest and most original works on the internet. This book is long overdue.

Hands down the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. It nearly ruined my marrige. My wife would just be drifting off to sleep when I'd explode laughing over one of Mils' er... Pels exploits.

Buy this book, make someone you love shake their head in disgust.

Being somewhat familiar with Mil Millington's website and also being a huge fan of other funny and uniquely sweet novels by British authors, I picked up this book really excited to read it. Unfortunately, I was highly disappointed. Sure, it's funny. There's no denying that much. Millington certainly has experience with entertainingly dysfunctional relationships, and he has perfected the art of humorously cynical commentary. These strengths are perfect for his website, but you can't write a novel consisting of nothing but random digressive stories and witty sarcasm. The plot was so boring I lost interest about a quarter into the book, and at that point the story had hardly even begun. In addition to being unsatisfied with the plot, I felt that Ursula's character was poorly written. On Millington's website he portrays his girlfriend as quirkily crazy, but in the book she comes across as downright mean. We only ever got to see the obnoxious, opinionated, irritating side of her, and it left me wondering why on earth Mil's character, Pel, ever liked his girlfriend in the first place! Then there was the ending. The final chapter started out fine enough, but then the last couple pages were kind of like, "Well, enough of this, I think it's over now . . ." I was just very disappointed with this book. The humor did not make up for lack of anything profound or thought-provoking. (Actually, for those of you who have read the book, there was that one part where Tracey said something about how beauty should be considered an accomplishment even though you're just born with it. She made some good points that I'd never thought about before. It was only like two lines long and really had nothing to do with the book, but I thought it was interesting. It was probably the most thought-provoking part of the whole book.) Anyway, this book has been highly acclaimed by many other individuals, so other readers are likely to disagree with me as well. Whatever floats you boat, I guess!

This very lightly plotted hilarious comedy by British writer Millington is apparently the spawn of a similarly titled website on which he posted vignettes of his life with his German girlfriend. This humble beginning has begat one of the funniest novels I've read in a long long time. There are basically two things going on here. The first is a running account of the comic bickering between 40ish hapless slacker "Pel" and his partner, the strong-willed German "Ursula". Their back and forth is dead funny-somewhat akin to P.G. Wodehouse's stories in which Bertie Wooster gets put in his place (and then some) by his Aunt Agatha, with a kind of Nick Hornby twist. It completely and utterly fulfills the "laugh out loud funny" cliché. Since we are only shown the moments of conflict between them, their relationship seems somewhat unreal, but it's so sidesplitting it's hard to care. Anyone who takes their nastiness to each other at face value is utterly missing the point of a comic novel.

While Pel and Ursula's trials center around finding and buying a new house, dealing with their two young boys, and a ski trip to Germany, the other plotline concerns Pel's work life as a hopelessly unqualified computer administrator at a college library. When his immediate boss TJR disappears without a trace, he's surprisingly asked to take his place. Plenty of wacky antics ensue, especially when some Chinese Triads turn up looking for some money TJR owed them. Not to mention the bodies being unearthed by the construction of the new wing of the library, which Pel is now in charge of... As the complications grow, Pel sticks his head deeper in the sand and things start to spiral out of control. There are a number of scenes that recall the vast idiocy of Basil Fawlty racing through halls and ducking behind cars to avoid being seen. Some great supporting comic characters pop out of the woodwork, including the college's head PR man, "24/7 International" Nazim, a nasty harridan of a librarian, and another administrator with a sideline too shocking to reveal here.

The ending is a bit of a lame cop-out, but I actually fully prepared to let that slide given the nonstop laughs the book generated in me. I defy anyone to read the refrigerator defrosting scene or the scene where two Triads argue about cell phone plans without bursting out in laughter. Great stuff which will no doubt be made into a movie.

Your gonna wanna have tissues when you read either his site or his book because that is how hard you are going to be laughing. I made the mistake of reading this at work for the first time and people were wondering if I was ok because I was laughing so hard I could hardly breath. There is at least one story that everyone can relate to any relationship they have had. Definately worth the time and money to invest.

It can't be a good thing when your boss tracks you down to ask what you know about extradition treaties. But Pel Dalton, Supervisor of the Computer Team in a university library--er, Learning Center--is too busy mowing down children at the time to think much of it:

"I jerk myself above the barricade and let rip with laser death at some attackers. One dives behind a box in panic like some kind of silly eight-year-old (admittedly he does look about eight years old) but I catch his companion (who's eleven if he's a day) on the shoulder and take him down."

Tapped to fill his abruptly resigned boss's shoes, Pel finds it harder than usual to feign competence. (He has about as firm a hold on his new responsibilities as Seinfeld's George Costanza did when called upon to handle the Penske file.) Yet Pel might yet keep things under control at work--the requisite meetings with Chinese mafiosi, the disappeared colleagues, the nerve gas and would-be poltergeists--were his home life not so chaotic. Pel lives with his German girlfriend Ursula and their two sons, and virtually every waking moment in their household is filled with the happy couple's bickering. Over every topic imaginable. Happily, their arguing does not arise from a deep-seated problem in their relationship: that would make it difficult reading. Petty arguments are simply their preferred mode of communication, and they do it marvelously.

"Did you hear that?"
"No."
"I'm sure I heard the door bang."
"It was probably just a dog somewhere."
"Yes, because--at night--a dog barking is almost indistinguishable from the sound of a door being smashed open, isn't it? Idiot."
"I didn't say a dog _barking_..."

Mil Millington--who, as it happens, lives with his German girlfriend Margret and their two children and who is apparently found wanting by Margret at least as often as Pel disappoints Ursula--is a writer worth watching. Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About is a hilarious, clever read about which I couldn't possibly say enough good things. Just do yourself a favor and buy it--buy it now, I mean--and read it, then get a few copies for your friends. It's really that good.

Reviewed by Debra Hamel, author of Trying Neaira: The True Story of a Courtesan's Scandalous Life in Ancient Greece

I just found out that this was a debut book by Millington, which makes it impressive indeed. The book was very witty, and I found myself laughing hysterically while reading some passages aloud to others. The book is written from the male perspective, and we follow the main character (Pel) around through daily activities, arguments with his g/f (Ursula), work scenes, and just life in general. There isn't a "plot" per se, but we get a glimpse into Pel's life on a regular basis. The writing/book was so fun because it was so easy to identify with the scenes and characters. I would definitely recommend this book. Oh, and don't overlook the passage on the copyright page -- it's a funny way to start the book!

Pel is a somewhat average bloke in England aside from his unstable girlfriend and the absurd set of events that change their lives. "In Things My Girlfriend and I Argue About", Mil Millington debuts a wit that has allowed him to publish a collection of successful novels. While the novel has its humorous points, long stretches of pages may interrupt chuckles. For the most part though, the humor is on target.

At times, Millington seems to let the plot get in the way of the humor. Of course, a book does need a plot. However, the corrupt hands of the university and the Chinese gang known as the Triads occupy too much space in the book. Were it not for the amazing level of corruption and incompetence at work, this aspect of the story would seem much more dry. Some of the story could have been editted. The comic gold lies in the interactions of Pel and his German girlfriend Ursula. The irrational arguments range from child-rearing, house hunting, and the shower scene which is certainly the highlight. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Ursula becomes more irrational throughout the book. It is a mark of character development.

After reading "Love and Other Near Death Experiences" and this novel, I continue to be interested in Millington's writings. As he perfects his craft in future novels, I am certain that he will make a bigger mark in the American market.

A voice drifts up from below. "What are you doing?" My girlfriend asks.
"Nothing." I reply.
"Then you can help me with the dishes," she says.
"I'm busy." I yell downstairs.
I'm sitting in front of a blank computer screen, thinking and writing about nothing. I stare into the abyss and the abyss stares back. It's ok. I'm a man and we do that sometimes. It's Zen in the art of being a guy. I am a whirlwind at rest, serenity in action. I am in the zone. I am zenned. Sure, I could be striving for that cherished Pulitzer. Writing about world hunger, of mans inhumanity to man, of kinder and gentler political regimes, even how to grill the perfect steak, but I'm in the moment, at one with the keyboard. The perfect lead into my next column will come, because you can't step into the same river twice, and my fuzzy bunny slippers are still dry.
"Take out the trash, if you aren't doing anything!" hollers my girlfriend.
Damn, my bubble of tranquility has burst, and I have nothing, nothing at all...

Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. Fortunately, my girlfriend and I agree on nothing, nothing at all. Nobody knows the dynamics of long-term relationships better than Mil Millington, author of Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About.

Mil started out writing his column for the British paper, The Guardian. The column, it turns out, is about things that Mil and his girlfriend Margaret argue about. They argue about the remote, the proper way to cut a kiwi, and even argue about arguments.

Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About, the novel, begins with our protagonist, Pel, his German girlfriend Ursula, and their two children. Pel works in the IT department of a university library (or "Learning Centre"-- he is a British writer after all). Pel receives an odd call from his boss, TSR, who quizzes him about extradition treaties; within a week he has vanished without a trace, and Pel is promoted to TSR's former position, CTASATM- "Computer Team Administration, Software Acquisition and Training Manager". Have to love those acronyms.
The story follows both Pel's home and work lives. At home, there are the arguments with Ursula over the search for a new home, after the latest burglary of their current home; defrosting the fridge during the moving preparations; Ursula terrifying the builders working on the repairs of the new house; a skiing accident, leaving Ursula with a torn tendon in her shoulder.
At work, Pel finds that taking on TSR's job involves more than it seemed at first; he has to pay off student recruiters from the Pacific Rim, who happen to be members of The Triads, the oriental version of organized crime. He has to take care of the details of the building of a new Learning Centre building, which involves hiding the fact that skeletons from an ancient burial ground have been illegally moved from the site, and a dangerous neurotoxin is to be buried under the new addition--a dual semester science project by an unsupervised student.
These details lead him to become closely involved with the permanently hung over Vice Chancellor of the university, which leads to his receiving another promotion, to Learning Centre Manager. The previous holder of that position having left to pursue his fetish website, and well things just get stranger from there.
This is Mil's first novel and he does tend to hang a more-or-less useless plot on the concept of "things". In many places in seems to be a collection of his columns inserted into a novel. But he has great comic timing and his turn of phrasing will keep you entertained. He's so deft and downright funny that it'll get you kicked out of bed and probably start another one of those "arguments". His humor is distinctly English.
If you don't mind your humor peppered with bollocks, tossers, and the odd wanker, than Mil Millington is your man. Check him out...

Author of"Hobo Finds A Home" and editor of "Of A Predatory Heart"