Things I've Been Silent About: Memories of a Prodigal Daughter [Paperback]

Azar Nafisi (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 2, 2010

In this stunning personal story of growing up in Iran, Azar Nafisi shares her memories of living in thrall to a powerful and complex mother against the backdrop of a country’s political revolution. A girl’s pain over family secrets, a young woman’s discovery of the power of sensuality in literature, the price a family pays for freedom in a country beset by upheaval—these and other threads are woven together in this beautiful memoir as a gifted storyteller once again transforms the way we see the world and “reminds us of why we read in the first place” (Newsday).

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Nafisi follows up the internationally acclaimed Reading Lolita in Tehran with another memoir, concentrating this time on her unhappy family life. Her mother was vocally nostalgic for her first marriage to a man who died two years after their wedding day, while her father sought the company of other women—not so much for sexual excitement as for emotional stability. Nafisi's parents' relationship was so off-kilter that when her father, the mayor of Tehran, was accused of plotting against the shah and thrown into jail, one of his main hopes was that it would finally reconcile them. Nafisi grew up determined to become the woman [my mother] claimed she had wanted to be, but an adolescent education in England and an impulsive first marriage (followed by college in the U.S.) did not bring the happiness she sought. The calm candor with which she narrates her experiences, from childhood sexual abuse to a frightening confrontation when her second husband argues with a religious zealot over her unscarved hair, provides a solid emotional anchor—and the intimate drama at her memoir's core, the conflicting frustration with a parent and the desire for connection, is one that will resonate with readers everywhere. (Jan. 6)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Bookmarks Magazine

Family history is almost always messy. When tangled up with revolution, it can get downright chaotic. That Things I've Been Silent About is a less-focused effort than Nafisi's first book, then, is unsurprising. The Iranian exile (she's lived in the United States since 1997) continues to display a masterful touch that merges the personal with the political. She also deploys her sharp literary sensibilities to inform this hard-to-tell story. Almost all the critics point out the book's fragmentary nature. Those drawn in by the intimacies in Nafisi's story judge the book a resounding success; those looking for something else—more about Iran or less judgment about her mother—find it "flawed if beautifully written" (Oregonian).
Copyright 2009 Bookmarks Publishing LLC --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks; Reprint edition (March 2, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812973909
• ISBN-13: 978-0812973907
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #108,989 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #29 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Islam > Women in Islam

More About the Author

Azar Nafisi is a professor at John Hopkins University. She has written for the New York Times, the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal among others, and is the author of Anti-Terra: A Critical Study of Vladimir Nabokov's Novels. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and two children.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

63 of 71 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Personal Story, January 2, 2009

By 

ArouraLeona "AL" (Washington USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Things I've Been Silent About: Memories (Hardcover)

Though I very much enjoyed "Reading Lolita In Tehran," Nafisi's new book, "Things I've Been Silent About" surpasses her first on nearly every level. She still tells the story of her live in conjunction with the books and stories that matter most to her, but "Things I've Been Silent About" is a far more personal tale. You feel that she is letting you into a life she was hesitant to speak of before, and the revelations that take place in the telling are heartbreaking and endearing.

Her struggle with her parents, her place between the two of them, is masterfully told. The hesitation she feels being there, as well as the favoritism she shows her father in many cases, closes any gaps one might have in relating to her story. Most children favor one family member over another at some point, and usually there is some sort of guilt that goes with that favoritism.

I'm rambling a bit, but I can't help it. This book moved me in ways her first book did not. In the end I hardly know what to say, except that you should read it.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Slightly Disappointing, June 1, 2009

By 

Busy Mom (Ohio) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Things I've Been Silent About: Memories (Hardcover)

I really enjoyed "Reading Lolita in Tehran," and was excited that she has written another book. I have been reading about the Middle Eastern cultures and couldn't wait to read Nafisi's book ... but I must confess, I am slightly disappointed with it. Oh, don't get me wrong as it is chock-full of politics, history and everything that could spark my interest in learning more about Iran. But I wasn't counting on this book to be of a love-hate relationship she has with her mother. That overshadowed everything I wanted to learn about Iran as that issue dragged on throughout the entire book ... and frankly, by the time I was finished with this book, I was really glad to be done with it. I love memoirs but this one really dragged.

It starts off strong ... with Nafisi describing her childhood in Tehran, visiting the chocolate, the toy and the book shops with her mother. It sounded like paradise; the descriptions were beautiful and lyrical that I could "see" in my imagination of what it must have been like for Nafisi as a young child. Then the battles with her mother intensified and carried on throughout the entire book (about 314 pages of it) and it got really tiresome. Her mother was emotionally abandoned by her father when she was a young child and though she lived in his house, her half-siblings were favored over her. She married young and when her husband died, she never got over it even after marrying Nafisi's father. She claimed to be a dancer though no one has ever seen her dance. The stories pile up and Nafisi spent years trying to get from under her mother's oppressive shadow. Nafisi went overseas to school, married young and finished school before divorcing her first husband. Headstrong, Nafisi grew into the woman that we first meet in her book, "Reading Lolita in Tehran."

Against the backdrop of the cultural revolution, Nafisi takes us on a journey peopled with Persian historical figures and myths, and shares with us a bit of her own history in relations to the political uprising of the time. Her father was the mayor of Tehran before he spent 4 years in jail for crimes he never committed. Her mother was in the Parliment while her father was in jail. Before her mother was in politics, she entertained all sorts of people in her house, offering coffee hour. It sounds exciting, fast-paced and Nafisi was always in the thick of things even as a child. Then the religious oppression arrived and Nafisi's family had to learn how to live in secret.

It really would have been an excellent book if she hadn't dwelled so much on her votile relationship with her mother. As it was, I personally got tired of reading armchair psychology and started skimming the book to get to the end. Like another reviewer said, mother-daughter relationships are complicated in the first place, but this memoir is one-sided. She attempted to explain her mother's side of things, but did a very poor job of it as I still couldn't figure her out at the end of the book (and made me very glad to have the mother I do have ...).

It is disappointing as I expected something more than a book lamenting her relationship with her mother. Yes, there were other things in the book, but that issue overshadowed everything else, just like she must have felt in her life with her mother overshadowing her everywhere she went.

6/1/09

27 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Before "Reading Lolita In Tehran", January 3, 2009

By 

C. Hutton "book maven" (East Coast, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Things I've Been Silent About: Memories (Hardcover)

Azar Nafisi is writing an earlier memoir about her dysfunctional family, especially her parents. Like Doris Lessing's "Alfred and Emily" and Julia Blackburn's "The Three of Us", this story is one of surviving one's parents. The author came from a mid-level political family and their is the backstory of Iranian history in the last century. The writing is crisp and riveting -- the abuse on numerous levels and her perception of her mother as an emotional controlling monster. After reading this book, the reader should turn to her tale about her later life : "Reading Lolita in Tehran".