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Things Just Haven't Been the Same: Making the Transition from Marriage to Parenthood
 
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Things Just Haven't Been the Same: Making the Transition from Marriage to Parenthood [Hardcover]

Brad, Ph.D. Sachs (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)


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Book Description

November 1992
Drawing on both personal and professional experience, a family psychotherapist offers new parents a guide to adjusting to their new roles while preserving their romance. 35,000 first printing. $25,000 ad/promo.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When happily married couples become parents, Sachs contends, their marriages all too often flounder or fall apart. A clinical psychologist based in Columbia, Md., he points out that a new child not only adds enormous responsibilities and stress to a marriage, but also stimulates the parents' childhood "tapes" and thus reactivates their old feelings of helplessness in relation to their own parents. But chaos, Sachs declares, need not ensue. To change, new parents must first achieve "Selfhood" by differentiating themselves from their "first families." Then he advocates a "dia-logic" technique designed to "depolarize our hyperparenting-hypoparenting or pursuing-distancing dance" by dealing with our "parents from the past" and, finally, with our parents, grandparents and in-laws. Using a combination of case histories, clinical insights and mind-addling jargon, Sachs counters his gloomy diagnosis with a vision of hope. Author tour.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow & Co (November 1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0688101836
  • ISBN-13: 978-0688101831
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,686,758 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Brad Sachs is a psychologist, speaker, educator and best-selling author specializing in clinical work with children, adolescents, couples, and families, in Columbia, Maryland, and the Founder and Director of The Father Center, a program designed to meet the needs of new, expectant, and experienced fathers.

His forthcoming book is entitled EMPTYING THE NEST: LAUNCHING YOUNG ADULTS TOWARDS SUCCESS AND SELF-RELIANCE (Macmillan/St. Martin's, July, 2010).

His most recent book, WHEN NO ONE UNDERSTANDS: LETTERS TO A TEENAGER ON LIFE, LOSS, AND THE HARD ROAD TO ADULTHOOD, was published in 2007, and is based on his between-sessions correspondence with a suicidal adolescent whom he was treating.

He is the author of numerous other books, including THE GOOD ENOUGH CHILD: HOW TO HAVE AN IMPERFECT FAMILY AND BE PERFECTLY SATISFIED (HarperCollins, 2001), which was named as an Editor's Choice by Amazon.com and became its best-selling parenting title that year. It was featured on NBC's The Today Show, and was excerpted in Family Circle Magazine.

He has also written THE GOOD ENOUGH TEEN: RAISING ADOLESCENTS WITH LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE (DESPITE HOW IMPOSSIBLE THEY CAN BE), (HarperCollins, 2005), and THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME: MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM MARRIAGE TO PARENTHOOD (William Morrow, 1992), which was named one of the Top Five Books for New Parents by Child Magazine. His books have been translated into numerous languages, including Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, German, and Danish.

Dr. Sachs regularly writes articles on family life for magazines such as Redbook, Parenting, Parents, Child, and American Baby, is renowned for his creative and innovative treatment of children and families, and has lectured and led seminars and workshops both nationally and internationally. He has been interviewed on over three hundred radio and television shows, including The Today Show, 20/20, The Montel Williams Show, The Sally Jesse Raphael Show, and The Diane Rehm Show.

His original poetry has been collected in IN THE DESPERATE KINGDOM OF LOVE: POEMS 2001-2004, (Chestnut Hills Press, 2005), BLIND DATE: POEMS OF EXPECTANT FATHERHOOD (Chestnut Hills Press), and the forthcoming WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS? : POEMS FROM PSYCHOTHERAPY.

Dr. Sachs is also a composer and performer, most recently releasing HARD TALES TO TELL, a cycle of sixteen original songs based on the stories his patients have told him. Other recording projects include OPENING DAY: SONGS OF EXPECTANT FATHERHOOD, LOVE SO HARD: SONGS OF MARRIAGE, and the soundtrack for the NPR series on minor league baseball, APPALACHIAN ALMANAC.

He is a graduate of Brown University, where he met his wife, Dr. Karen Meckler, a psychiatrist and medical acupuncturist, and together they raise their three teenaged children and two dogs in Columbia, Maryland.

 

Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (5 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars On Point!, December 1, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Things Just Haven't Been the Same: Making the Transition from Marriage to Parenthood (Hardcover)
This book was excellent. Dr. Sachs really addressed what life is like emotionally as a new parent. He delves into the depths of your psyche and describes what is happening to your family dynamics. This is a must read for every couple with a new born baby. This book should be given at every baby shower in America!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars THINGS HAVE BEEN BETTER, November 19, 2003
This review is from: Things Just Haven't Been the Same: Making the Transition from Marriage to Parenthood (Hardcover)
Since reading Dr. Sachs's THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME, things have been a lot better for my husband and I. With two boys under the age of three, our marriage has suffered. Yet Dr. Sachs's words of wisdom have been quite helpful to us. He has helped us both to move from blaming (each other and ourselves) to understanding, and, in the process, my husband and I have found ourselves fighting less and compromising more.

It is reassuring when someone with his clinical and personal experience validates the vertiginous experience of early parenthood, and, in particular, its impact on marriage. I found myself thinking of all of the people who should get this book, or should have already read it.

THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME reads beautifully, translates complicated psychological theories into real-life language, and, mostly, creates a mood of optimism and hope. I finished the book thinking, "Wow, there's a chance we're really going to get through this, and in better shape than before!"

For a thoughtful, interesting, and elevating experience, read THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME.

Jennifer Longley

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5.0 out of 5 stars Great insight, April 18, 2009
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a customer (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Things Just Haven't Been the Same: Making the Transition from Marriage to Parenthood (Hardcover)
I borrowed this book from the library after reading another Sachs title, "When No One Understands: . . .". I read through most of it and felt it was an excellent read that provided me with great insight into spousal and parent/child relationships. The book discusses the difficulty of marriage and raising children when there are unresolved issues from either parents past childhood and/or family history. I felt it was highly applicable to my marriage and ordered a copy with the hope that my spouse would read it, gain some insight, and possibly even come to a resolution regarding the past.
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