Customer Reviews

Things I Want My Daughters to Know

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I picked up this book because of the title. I have daughters. There are 'things' I want them to know. Upon reading the Foreword, I grew a little nervous. The tone seemed rather patronizing, and I felt like I was about to get a lesson in what a rotten mother I am. The author writes: "No mother can have a relationship with her children without some heartaches and significant differences of opinion. With my own daughters I embrace our differences as well as the things we share in common." Well, yes, that WOULD be the ideal.

What follows beyond the Forword, where the author more or less introduces her qualifications for writing a book filed with advice, is just that. Lots of useful advice for getting through life. The conversational and rational writing style immediately allowed me to GET OVER MYSELF, and just enjoy the various topics. I found it hard to disagree with anything she wrote. Everything is based on the author's experience, and much of it is universal. The suggestions, "It's Easier to Get into Things Than It Is to Get Out of Them," or "In Really Tough Times, Regularly Take Time Off," for example, are pearls of wisdom for mothers to not only pass onto their daughters, but also to remind themselves of every now and again.

This is a well written collection, with a mature and rational sensitivity. It's an excellent gift book--for our daughters, and our friends who have daughters, and, of course, for mothers too. I recommend it.

"When you've made your point, sit down," reads the last entry. So, I will.

From the author of "A Line Between Friends," McKenna Publishing Group.

Alexandra is a favorite author. I love her possitive outlook and energy. This little book written in her signature essay style is a gem. She writes, "Think of your priorities. Focus on all you have. Stay centered. Be still. If you were looking down from the level of total awareness, how important are the things that cause you stress and worry? They are passing, fleeting, and perhaps, meaningless. Worrying about some future negative possibility is poisonous, blocking you from experiencing the magnificence of this wonderful moment that you will never get back." Full of real beauty and real wisdom, I can't imagine a person who wouldn't benefit from thinking over some of these issues.

So I got this book from my mom for Christmas and I have to say that I am having a very negative reaction to the author. While there may appear to be snippits of life-learned advice, when you actually read her examples, it's a bit ridiculous. Her key for living a happy life is to be selfish. Oh, and being priviledged doesn't hurt either. Don't want to be bogged down with spending time with friends or volunteering, don't commit to anything! She tells this lovely story about screwing over her husband when SHE suggested having a dinner party for his colleagues and then when a better offer came up, she abandonded him and he was on his own for entertaining this crowd. Her lesson learned--don't plan things too far in advance because you never know if a better offer is around the corner. How about sticking to your committments? That is the kind of person you have to track down to get a wedding RSVP out of.

She also talks about dedicating your life to your kids but talks about how she refused to help them with homework. Nice.

This author struggles with what I call the Martha Stewart affliction. Fifteen years ago, you would watch the only Martha Stewart show on and realize two things...she has a talent that maybe you would like to have yourself and she has no clue that everyone else does not live like her. Martha got smart and realized her earnings were limited by only talking to the rich people and took her case to K-Mart. Stoddard is Martha 15 years ago. She comes off as a snob and a bit selfish and yet, you can tell in her stories that she doesn't get it. Real life means making choices and sacrifices. I don't get the feeling that she has had to do a whole lot of either of those things.

First of all, I am not the "Self-Help" type. Unfortunately, my mother is. What this means is that I can expect the next big "Self-Empowerment" or "Inward Reflections" shchlocky trash at my next birthday or Christmas. But never before have I recieved a book so laughably inane as to contain nothing but utter drivel. This over-wrought collection of 55 essays includes advice like "Travel Heavy" (great advice for a backpacker in Europe- bring along your favourite vase to arrange flowers in a pew at the Vatican!), and "The Five-Hour Rule" (basically, never EVER allow ANYONE, ESPECIALLY your in-laws to stay with you as houseguests, because their very presence will destroy your sense of inner peace...by the way, she relates the delightful tale of her and her first husband having to trash their only sofa so they could refuse anyone who wished to stay over- CRAZY!!).

Oh, she also recommends such gems as bathing immediately before the arrival of your guests when hosting a party- this prevents your "party clothes" from becoming soiled when over-exerting yourself last minute. Where the advice isn't downright preposterous and harebrained, it is so obvious as to be bordering on insane to regurigtate as original thought, or even learned advice. If by the age of 5 you aren't equipped with some of the skills she preaches, you should probably have been committed by now.

Many chapters contradict one another, such as violating her own five-hour rule when mentioning how much time she enjoys spending on a daily basis with her ubiquitous husband, Peter. I agree with reviewers of her other tomes who include criticisms of her seemingly lavish lifestyle, and her desire to fob this gluttonous existence off on us "Little People," when our time is precious and finances dismal. I would love to jaunt off on a weekend trip to Paris for breakfast with my daughter, but unfortunately most 9-5's don't pay the kind of salary this would require.

The virtues she extols are of a by-gone age when women were expected to spend their days doing menial housework and raising children; it is simply impossible to work the types of careers we must today to keep ourselves and our families afloat, and to hemorrhage the vast sums of money it would require to live her lifestyle.

In short, if your mother has insisted on purchasing this book for your graduation, or any other special occassion, take Alexandra's own advice, show her gratitude, but immediately return this crap for something that will truly inspire and engage you.

I was thrilled at the sound of this book and expected it to be filled with succint wisdom -- the type of wisdom you receive from friends' emails, save to a file or print, and never organize into a book. However, it was really several longer narrations of the author's opinion on selected topics. All in all, I found it to be of little value and quickly relegated it to my attic collection.

I flipped through this book as my daughter was browsing a store: this was placed prominently on a small table with fragrant votive candles, beside a sofa with needlepoint cushions and a casual throw.It was, in other words, perfect product placement.
For all the fluff, however, I found the advice quite sane and commonsensical. If by reading this book a young person plans to "be early, never arrive late, blabbing about why you were held up" it would be a wonderful thing.Ditto collecting things you love, letting go of hurt feelings,etc.
Only, some of the filler which the author uses to explain the "WHY" of why common sense works has to be read tongue in cheek. If you know a sheltered young lady of, oh, about 16, this would be a good gift.

I enjoyed reading this book. The sections were each a couple pages long and got to the point quickly. The topics help you to think about your life and your approach to things. A lot of it reinforced things that I already knew in an eloquent way. Nonetheless it is a nice book and would be a perfect gift for any woman (or man!) in your life to help guide them.

I really liked this book. It made me open up my eyes to things that I really need to concentrate on in my life.It made me realize what was important and how the littlest things can make you happy. I would recommend this book to anyone. I am recommending it to all of my sorority sisters, and they have also enjoyed the wisdom of this book.

Where do I start with this book? I am not sure how it got published. This author definitely sounds like she came from a background of wealth and status, whose most difficult life experience was her massage being cancelled, or her maid quitting. She also seems to have no clue that other readers are most likey not in the same privileged position as she is. It comes off as a rich woman explaining to her maid why the maid should save her pennies. I don't mean to sound bitter- this book was just laughable. Some actual excerpts from her book were

"In my desire to give my children honey, I raised them as though they were my grandchildren. They both went to good, strict private schools, where their teachers demanded a great deal from them. I tended to hug then and reinforce their great qualities and strenghts." I just shook my head when I read this. I actually re-read it 3 times. Not everyone has the money to send their children to private schools to do a parents "dirty" work. Even if I did have the money to send my children to private school, it felt like she didn't want to seem "strict" or "difficult" in any way, or for her children to not like her, she she was the one to give the lollipops and ballons while the teachers did the discipline. Not admirable. Not someone I would take life lessons from.

Another excerpt that stood out was when she advised to pay attention to your children's requests. She mentions that one time she asked her daughter where she wanted to go on her winter break, and when her daughter replied PARIS..they flew to Paris, just her and her 2 daughers. How lovely!

This book has to some small degree facts that are helpful bits on life such as being grateful and not expecting gratitude, and Pain is inevitable; Suffering is a choice. I suppose it could be a decent "feel good" book to give a teenage girl. I just wish the author would have left her own privileged life detaits out of the book and not peppered it with such annoying details as the fact that she listens to Enya while opening her gifts to make some sort of ceremony out of it. Seriously, she wrote that too.

So basically, read this book if you want a good laugh, or if you know a very young teenage girl who needs a few tiny shallow bits of wisdom such as "learn how to style your own hair" (Yes, that was in there too..)

Easy and light to read, yet gems of wisdom are in each and every page, it's a joy to read.