The Things I Want Most: The Extraordinary Story Of A Boy's Journey To A Family Of His Own [Hardcover]

Richard Miniter (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 1998

Since his removal from an abusive home, eleven-year-old Mike had been placed with a dozen foster families and institutions. Medication could not control his defiant, violent behavior. The overwhelming conclusion: nothing more could be done. Mike was labeled severely emotionally disturbed and a hopeless case by the children's home in which he lived. When Richard and Sue Miniter, who'd raised six children of their own, read his file they found no indication that Mike even wanted help. Then, almost by accident, they came across a single sheet of blue paper labeled "The Things I Want Most." Beneath that headline, written in a child's sprawling, smudgy scrawl, were the words: "A Family, A Fishing Pole, A Family." They decided to take him in.

Portraying the unpredictability, frustration, and heartbreak of everyday life with a bright but uncontrollable child scarred by abuse, The Things I Want Most is the engaging and earnest story of the Miniters' first year with Mike. Despite the broken windows, attention demands, temper tantrums, and even fires, Mike and his new family survived their difficult first year together. Sustained by prayer, imagination, and the love of other family members (not the least of whom was Mike himself), they managed to turn the challenges into changes. Drawing readers into the hearts and minds of the Miniter family, The Things I Want Most is a testament to the reserves of strength and love it took to convince Mike that it just might be possible to have what he wanted most--a loving family.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

A straightforward story of a troubled foster son and his family, The Things I Want Most shows just how much persistence can pay off when it comes to family relationships. Funny, alarming, encouraging, and always honest, the book covers Mike's first year with his large foster family and all the struggles the family went through to make him feel both welcome. His needs and frustrations are central to the book, as are his parents' creative--and often desperate--solutions. There's a lot to think about here, including what makes a real family and how to achieve open communication in any group of people. Told through a combination of standard narrative and conversational snippets, this is a quick and engrossing read that any parent can relate to. But for anyone interested in becoming a foster parent, the book should be required reading: the first-hand accounts will provide all kinds of valuable insights into the special concerns of this kind of parenting. With an epilogue rounding out the past with a brief mention of family members' current activities, you'll feel like you spent the day getting to know a neighbor--and being pleasantly surprised with some of life's happy endings. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Sue and Richard Miniter's nest had recently been emptied of six children when they came across a program looking for experienced parents to provide a home for abused children. After going through training they were paired with a boy, or more precisely with a file, and two things jumped out: (1) "the child... was a sociopath" and(2) a piece of notebook paper with the words The Things I Want Most: A family, A fishing pole, A family. Those simple words allowed the Miniters to put aside their deep-seated reservations and plow forcefully ahead with the adoption of a severally emotionally disturbed 11-year-old boy. Mike, in and out of mental institutions, foster care and group homes since his mother beat him unconscious when he was three, screams obscenities often and loudly, he prefers his pants to the toilet, and he won't listen or follow authority (he adamantly believes he should do no work). On his first day of school the Special Ed teacher calls Mike "the most disturbed child" he's ever seen. The Miniters, however, are determined to raise Mike like their own children: with structure, guidance and a good deal of tough love. Clearly meant to be uplifting, this lacks some of the self-doubt and grimy reality of Ann Kimble Loux's The Limits of Hope: An Adoptive Mother's Story (1997). Miniter can be heavy-handed, and the writing is often earnest (lots of exclamations!) and somewhat repetitive, but the book's strength lies in the story of a dogged persistence in the face of a child who physically refused to be loved.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Bantam; 1 edition (September 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553109332
• ISBN-13: 978-0553109337
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,172,280 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Richard F. Miniter writes and lives in a colonial era hamlet in upstate New York. An ex-Marine,ex-Chief-of-Police and for many years a Manufacturing Manager he and his wife Susan raised five sons and a daughter before they took into the home a severely emotionally disturbed boy and Mr. Miniter began keeping a diary which he then developed into the acclaimed The Things I Want Most. A book excerpted in Reader's Digest worldwide and published (under different titles) in many foreign countries.


Richard F. Miniter can be reached at [e-mail]

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that will touch your heart..., February 2, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Things I Want Most: The Extraordinary Story Of A Boy's Journey To A Family Of His Own (Hardcover)

This book teaches many lessons. First and foremost that the husband-wife relationship plays such a major role in raising children, and it showed in this book. The relationship between Rich and Sue is an admirable one, one that not is not so common after so many years of marriage. With that bond of love, they raised a house full of kids and later in life, were able to take on one more kid, very different from their own. They gave it 1000% and stuck with it through thick and thin. What they did for "Mike" is untouchable, precious and blessed. God Bless the Miniters and the best of luck to "Mike" in his future endeavors to become a chef.........This book more than once will put a lump in your throat and a tear or two in your eye...To learn more about children, about sacrifices, about life, you must read this beautiful story !!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for any human being !!, February 1, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Things I Want Most: The Extraordinary Story Of A Boy's Journey To A Family Of His Own (Hardcover)

This book is not only for those who are adopting or work with disturbed children, but it can serve as a valuable lesson for those who have never been in these situations. It is necessary to know that trouble derives from the early years of a child's life and how important it is to show affection, trust and caring to children at all ages.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must if planning to adopt a special needs child, August 28, 1998

By 

Michael L. Rosenberg - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Things I Want Most: The Extraordinary Story Of A Boy's Journey To A Family Of His Own (Hardcover)

This book is a must read for all those involved with adoptive special needs children. Whether you are a pre-adoptive parent, a post-adoptive parent or a professional. It is straight forward and very realistic. I couldn't put it down. My child has gone through the exact same cycles. When this book was condensed in the Reader's Digest in November, 1997, it caused me to keep on working with my child who was going in and out of crisis. As a parent of an adoptive boy, I can say that if anything is "normal" about these kids, it is the ups and downs and lack of trust written in this book. Professionals please read and take note to listen to the parents. Richard Minitor, thanks for writing this informative book.