The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook [Paperback]

Daphne Rose Kingma (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 6, 2010

Add layoffs, foreclosures, and skyrocketing health-care costs to the inevitable crises of every life, and you have today’s landscape. Amid these challenges, even those who thought they had solid coping skills feel that their center cannot hold as things fall apart. In her first book in many years, bestselling author Daphne Rose Kingma takes us on a path of emotional and spiritual healing, with particular attention to the complex and frequently overwhelming circumstances of our lives right now. The perfect combination of empathic friend, sage counselor, savvy problem solver, and even gallows humorist, Kingma looks straight into the predicaments so many of us face. She then offers ten deceptively simple yet profoundly effective strategies for coping on practical, emotional, and spiritual levels.

The devastating events cannot be changed, but after reading this book, you will be, having recovered a sense of equanimity, spirit, and strength. Whether you’re struggling with money issues, job loss, relationship problems, an unexpected health crisis, or all of the above, this book will light your path and heal your heart.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Known primarily for books on relationships (Coming Apart), Kingma's latest is a lifeline for those in the isolating depths of personal tragedy. Its purpose is to hold, to heal, and to listen, and it comes from a very real place: a friend of the author's in the midst of physical and financial hardships asked for a list of 10 practices to survive his crisis. With chapters dedicated to the necessity of tears, the freedom of letting go, and the fulfillment found in simple living, these techniques are all about practicality. Realistic indeed, yet underlying the straightforward advice is an enlivening spiritual message that isn't content with just soldiering on through the darkness. Rather than being random assaults from an uncaring universe, the difficulties you are going through have meaning and purpose, the author writes. Kingma relates her worldly and spiritual survival tools in graceful prose and includes illustrative, though somewhat broad, real-life stories of people who rise above catastrophe. This work is about more than just getting by; it directs the reader toward transcendence and peace. (Apr.)
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Review

“Anyone going through a dark night of the soul needs to have this book. It will be your closest companion and your most tender angel. Daphne Rose Kingma more than speaks to your soul; she knows how to heal it.”
— Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love

“What if, during the worst times you can imagine, you felt a warm and steady hand on your back guiding you forward? What if it helped you remember to turn toward what can be possible instead of against yourself or away from what you are afraid of? This book is that hand. Put it by your bedside and you’ll sleep better. Read it and you’ll live better.”
— Dawna Markova, PhD, cocreator of Random Acts of Kindness

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: New World Library (April 6, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1577316983
• ISBN-13: 978-1577316985
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #43,930 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

An undisputed expert on matters of the heart, Daphne Rose Kingma has been a therapist for more than twenty-five years, and is a frequent guest on television programs like "Oprah," "Sally Jessy Raphael," and "Leeza." She is the author of six previous books, including the bestsellers Finding True Love and Coming Apart. Kingma lives in Santa Barbara, California.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read the book first, then the reviews, May 30, 2010

By 

Marsha (Upstate New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook (Paperback)

I can safely say that this book jumped off the shelf in a bookstore precisely because my life is coming apart. Had I read the reviews first, I probably wouldn't have purchased it, but having read the book now, probably two or three times, I highly recommend this gentle, easy read which has a way of making the reader feel that he/she is not alone. You are encouraged to read the chapters as needed and not necessarily in simultaneous order. The ten things outlined are not rocket science, but they are so logical and comforting to read, whether you are experiencing job loss, death, or any other various tragedies that are mentioned, but not singled out or dwelled upon. I started with the chapter on Simplifying, clearly a common theme in today's news, but this one hits home in a precise, memorable way, which encouraged me to not just clean out once, but go back and get rid of more and more. As the author explains, you cannot hope to deal with the clutter around you even when you are feeling 100%, but when everything else is coming apart, it is essential to free up your surroundings.

The chapter on "Letting Go", again not a new concept, but written in a conversational way that makes sense when your life doesn't... says, "You can't begin to fly when you have concrete on your feet." Take it for what it's worth. If you think this is corny, so be it, but for me it is a great spiritual and uplifting go-to manual. My head is swimming, thus I need the gift this author handed me at this specific time in my life.... order, peace and hope. And, one last thing, a chapter on the great healing value of crying. I really enjoyed the quick read, quick lift quality.

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars THE WHOLE WORLD IS CHANGING, April 26, 2010

By 

L. Maupin "drop-dead-books" (zapperville) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook (Paperback)

(What's this?)

I liked this book. it is not the placating stuff many self-help books are made of, and not an accumulation of many old books put into one.

i found this book very sweet and encouraging. she explains how we have dealt with things in the past and how these times are different

she had a friend going through tremendous crisis and asked for a list of ten things he could do to help himself

some chapters include

Cry your heart out


Face your defaults..habitual behavoirs

Do something different...changing your consciousness acting from courage..feeling gratitude no matter what

Let go..of old identities,frees your energy for new possibilities, holding on keeps us attached to our problems,your heart will lead the way,

Remember who you've always been...you are still you,know your strengths and connect with them,

Persist,don't give up,

Go where love is--it is all around you

Live in the light of the spirit..resuming our spiritual lives,change is not just happening to you

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Definitely helped me work through grief, although it is an ongoing process, June 14, 2010

By 

K. Corn "reviewer" (midwest, United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook (Paperback)

(What's this?)

The author lost a spouse but this book is not just for those in her situation. I'm grieving a far different kind of loss and found the suggestion in this book to be extremely useful. Since grief can encompass anger, despair, loneliness and far more, the author shares those feelings with us.

It is easy to feel alienated and out of touch with the world when trying to survive grief with some measure of self intact. One of the most reassuring things about this book is how it validates feelings which may feel crazy or cause the sufferer to be ashamed. However, because the author shares her anger and grief, with full reactions to insensitive comments or her inability to move from bed on some days, I was left feeling less alone and more understood.

Ideally, friends and relatives will step in to provide support. Even so, this book can offer extra solace.