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Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married Paperback – September 1, 2010
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There are questions for talking it over at the end of each chapter and an appendix that really should be at the beginning on developing a healthy dating relationship.
Gary Chapman speaks as a spiritual advisor, a marriage counselor and from his own experience.
This book will give anyone a guide and a basis for discussions and thoughts on what is needed for a compatible and good marriage
I have to admit, my first reaction when I opened this book wasn't that great. The first thing I read was "On a scale of 0-10, how strongly do you feel the "tingles" for the person you are dating?" Don't worry, it does get better.
Chapman keeps this book very practical. One of the chapters is called "That toilets are not self-cleaning" - all about the contemporary confusion of gender roles. Some of the best practical advice is to recognize each others' abilities, and leverage them for the benefit of the marriage (i.e. If she is better at handling the money then she should).
One of the main points, as Chapman expounds on the two stages of romantic love, is that most men do not understand or comprehend female sexuality. We go in assuming that they are like us - even if we give lip service to the differences in the sexes. One of my favorite quotes: "If I had known that taking out the garbage was sexy for my wife, I would have been taking out the garbage twice a day."
Probably one of the most relevant chapters is the one called "That spirituality is not to be equated with `going to church'," One of the things that stresses out more Christian marriages is when one of the spouses stops going to church as regularly after getting married. He is not saying that you shouldn't go to church, but that we shouldn't hold that as the golden standard of spirituality.Read more ›
We chose to go through it a chapter at a time together. I recommend this. It is a good exercise while taking a flight together or just having a glass of wine while unwinding in the evening. We derived value in 2 ways from this. First, the chapters generally cover one topic and end with discussion questions. While the chapter was fresh in our heads, these discussion questions helped guide us in a conversation on the topic. The topics are relevant. Some were things we had discussed already, but some were not issues we had considered and we were glad this book brought them to our attention.
Perhaps more important than the topics themselves is that going through this book together gave us an extra reason to spend some time together learning about each other. Sometimes in the hectic day-to-day, it is easy to avoid those conversations. Often, when you have a free minute, you just want to turn on the tv. Deep conversations can be scary or challenging to start. Having this book around, made it a bit of a fun exercise.
This is a book I'll recommend to any of my friends considering marriage and probably to any couple I know which is struggling, as it has some tips for conflict resolution as well. I highly recommend it. It is worth your money.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Every human needs to read this book! Period. His insights are amazing and so relevant for all types of relationships.Published 6 days ago by Alicia
Great book to read after a divorce and before any marriage. Make your single daughter read this when she's 18!!!!Published 6 days ago by Andrea Brice
i'm giving this to my daughters as they begin to think about getting married.Published 7 days ago by dweide
Reading through this book with your special someone is a great experience. We have learned so much.Published 8 days ago by A. Faye
I wish I could give this book zero stars. My mother gave it to me as an engagement present. If you are a 15 year old evangelical Christian who is about to be forced into an... Read morePublished 10 days ago by Amazon Customer
I wish I had known all those facts and realities in life discussed in this awesome book. It is a must read for any individual seeking to live life intelligently. Kudos ChapmanPublished 14 days ago by Godfred
The title "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" just about says it all ! Lots of really practical information, and a great "read" !Published 18 days ago by Kathryne H.
An absolutely necessity before marriage. Provides great insight into much of what takes place in a marriage if a couple is not prepared. Read morePublished 19 days ago by ....