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193 of 198 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love is not enough
This is not just a manual for those who have set their wedding date; it should be required reading for anyone who has begun to date. It helps to have a guide to know what to look for. It contains discussions on: love is not enough, 2 stages of romance, like mother-like daughter-like father- like son, solve disagreements, apologizing, forgiveness, toilets are not...
Published on October 6, 2010 by wogan

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32 of 38 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Good Primer for Marriage
As you can tell by the title of this book, it targets those who are thinking about getting married, in the process of, and newlyweds. I would even suggest this book for a marriage on the rocks; it might help give that couple the chance to step back, look at everything, and possibly see where they can work in order to save the marriage.

I have to admit, my first...
Published on July 1, 2011 by Michael Brown


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193 of 198 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love is not enough, October 6, 2010
This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
This is not just a manual for those who have set their wedding date; it should be required reading for anyone who has begun to date. It helps to have a guide to know what to look for. It contains discussions on: love is not enough, 2 stages of romance, like mother-like daughter-like father- like son, solve disagreements, apologizing, forgiveness, toilets are not self-cleaning (this part should be required for getting a marriage license), handling money, sexual fulfillment, marrying into the family, spirituality, personality and behavior.
There are questions for talking it over at the end of each chapter and an appendix that really should be at the beginning on developing a healthy dating relationship.
Gary Chapman speaks as a spiritual advisor, a marriage counselor and from his own experience.
This book will give anyone a guide and a basis for discussions and thoughts on what is needed for a compatible and good marriage
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124 of 129 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and engaging and totally necessary!, October 1, 2010
By 
D. Durham (Santa Rosa, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
As a pastor who regularly takes couples through pre-marital counseling, I am thrilled to see this book. I'm about half-way through it, but already I've read enough to order a copy for each of my daughters to read. Chapman's writing style is engaging, instructive, and transparent (he shares lessons learned from his own marriage). From this point forward, I will be strongly recommending this book to every couple I work with. Oh, and for those who are not religious, this book still works. Chapman talks about faith issues, but in a way that doesn't put faith at the forefront. A non-religious person will still find this book incredibly helpful.
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48 of 51 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book., February 7, 2012
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This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
I'm a 30 year old male about to propose to my girlfriend. I picked up this book on a whim. I cannot overstate how much I have learned from this book. I started highlighting things that I thought were important to me or that really hit home or made sense. I wrote notes in the margin. I ordered a copy for my soon to be fiance and she is going to do the same thing with her copy. Then we'll switch so we can both learn from each other. Anyone that wants to be a better partner, regardless of weather or not that includes marriage, should pick this book up and read it front to back. I really can't say enough good things about this book.
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32 of 38 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Good Primer for Marriage, July 1, 2011
This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
As you can tell by the title of this book, it targets those who are thinking about getting married, in the process of, and newlyweds. I would even suggest this book for a marriage on the rocks; it might help give that couple the chance to step back, look at everything, and possibly see where they can work in order to save the marriage.

I have to admit, my first reaction when I opened this book wasn't that great. The first thing I read was "On a scale of 0-10, how strongly do you feel the "tingles" for the person you are dating?" Don't worry, it does get better.

Chapman keeps this book very practical. One of the chapters is called "That toilets are not self-cleaning" - all about the contemporary confusion of gender roles. Some of the best practical advice is to recognize each others' abilities, and leverage them for the benefit of the marriage (i.e. If she is better at handling the money then she should).

One of the main points, as Chapman expounds on the two stages of romantic love, is that most men do not understand or comprehend female sexuality. We go in assuming that they are like us - even if we give lip service to the differences in the sexes. One of my favorite quotes: "If I had known that taking out the garbage was sexy for my wife, I would have been taking out the garbage twice a day."

Probably one of the most relevant chapters is the one called "That spirituality is not to be equated with `going to church'," One of the things that stresses out more Christian marriages is when one of the spouses stops going to church as regularly after getting married. He is not saying that you shouldn't go to church, but that we shouldn't hold that as the golden standard of spirituality. It goes without being said that, to have a healthy spiritual life it is necessary to not forsake the gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).

This is a great supplement to Pre-marital counseling and, if that counseling is not feasible or possible, this book would give a great starting point for discussion on the hurdles and challenges that might/will pop up in every marriage. This would even be a good book for a married couple to go through and talk about - it could open the lines of communication on issues that have been simmering for some time.

Overall, this is not a world changing book, but it could end up changing your world.

From Third Option Men
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48 of 60 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, at the most., March 16, 2011
This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
Things I wish I knew before I got married was an interesting book. It was well written and clear in its presentation of the information. I would like to see some more suggestions on how to fix concerns that are brought up in each chapter. Concerns are presented and explored but with little help on how to avoid or correct anything. As a woman who is recently engaged and fast approaching my marriage, this book scared me. I see the potential for disaster around every corner and don't know how to avoid any of it. The information is well presented though. Each issue is explored in detail and has examples to clarify any misunderstandings. This book could be very helpful to any person with a little more advice. I knew that marriage was not going to be easy but I did not know all the situations I would be facing. This book did open my eyes to issues I had not considered. I would love to see more help in this book. More helpful suggestions and things that will improve these issues.

*Many thanks Moody Publishers for sending me a copy of Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married. I was in no way paid for my review and is my honest opinion of this book*
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Stuff!, October 3, 2010
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Very practical for couples. I bought it for my daughter whose boyfriend asked if I thought they were ready for marriage. This book is a great way for future couples to talk about issues like finances, arguing, household chores, in-laws...thinks you don't think about when you are in love. It is after you say "I do" that you get bombarded with the daily stresses of life that can really tear a marriage a apart. The chapters in this book deal with these stresses and challenges and if it is read, either together or separately, can provide great conversation starters.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THANK GOD FOR THIS BOOK., January 1, 2011
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This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
6 months into our marriage my husband and I started experiencing a lot of problems. We both were concerned because it's often said that most marriages end in the first 2 years. Before we got married we were together for 4 years, in love, and got along so well that we deceived ourselves into believing that we would have no problems in our marriage. Boy were we wrong! One morning I was listening to "Focus on the Family" radio program, and the author of this book (Gary Chapman) was on there, and everything he was talking about seemed to be exactly what my husband & I were going thru at the time. So I ordered this book. It is a God sent resource for not only married couples, but also for those who are dating. Right off the bat, from the first chapter my husband and I started to gain understanding of why we were having so many problems. I would encourage anyone dating, married & having problems, or even thinking about marrying to read this book. It will help you make wise choices concerning the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. PLEASE READ IT FOR YOURSELF & I AM SURE YOU WILL AGREE.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Decent..., July 30, 2011
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This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
The book is good for it's intended audience. My fiance and I decided to go through it together to help spur conversation topics we may not have thought to discuss (or even think about!) before getting married; it did bring up a few good conversations, but for the most part it covered things we'd already discussed. To be fair, we were never "dating" in the usual sense of the word - we went into a courtship relationship with the intent of determining/pursuing marriage, and so our entire relationship has been geared in that direction. For couples who started less intense, I think it could be good. The other warning - the author is very, very careful not to "preach" at his audience. If you're looking for a book filled with Biblical references, etc., this is not it. You can barely tell through the majority of the book that he is writing from a Christian perspective.

He also tends to plug his other books a fair amount... not entirely bad, but it gets slightly annoying after awhile if you're already familiar with his work and/or the principles that he's laying out.
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33 of 43 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book!!: Creates open communication, October 7, 2010
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This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
This book gave wonderful topics that should be discussed before marriage from who will do daily house chores to how to show and receive love from your spouse. These are things he mentions that should be discussed before saying I do so that you have your eyes wide open when you enter into marriage. It creates open communication with your spouse which is a very important part of the relationship (assuming is not good enough, questions need to asked for clarification).
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read for a couple considering marriage, February 13, 2012
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This review is from: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (Paperback)
My fiance and I had this book recommended by her mother. I was a bit skeptical at first as I'm not big on relationship books, but I really enjoyed it and got a lot of value out of it.

We chose to go through it a chapter at a time together. I recommend this. It is a good exercise while taking a flight together or just having a glass of wine while unwinding in the evening. We derived value in 2 ways from this. First, the chapters generally cover one topic and end with discussion questions. While the chapter was fresh in our heads, these discussion questions helped guide us in a conversation on the topic. The topics are relevant. Some were things we had discussed already, but some were not issues we had considered and we were glad this book brought them to our attention.

Perhaps more important than the topics themselves is that going through this book together gave us an extra reason to spend some time together learning about each other. Sometimes in the hectic day-to-day, it is easy to avoid those conversations. Often, when you have a free minute, you just want to turn on the tv. Deep conversations can be scary or challenging to start. Having this book around, made it a bit of a fun exercise.

This is a book I'll recommend to any of my friends considering marriage and probably to any couple I know which is struggling, as it has some tips for conflict resolution as well. I highly recommend it. It is worth your money.
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Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married
Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary D Chapman (Paperback - September 1, 2010)
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