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A Good Primer for Marriage
on July 1, 2011
As you can tell by the title of this book, it targets those who are thinking about getting married, in the process of, and newlyweds. I would even suggest this book for a marriage on the rocks; it might help give that couple the chance to step back, look at everything, and possibly see where they can work in order to save the marriage.
I have to admit, my first reaction when I opened this book wasn't that great. The first thing I read was "On a scale of 0-10, how strongly do you feel the "tingles" for the person you are dating?" Don't worry, it does get better.
Chapman keeps this book very practical. One of the chapters is called "That toilets are not self-cleaning" - all about the contemporary confusion of gender roles. Some of the best practical advice is to recognize each others' abilities, and leverage them for the benefit of the marriage (i.e. If she is better at handling the money then she should).
One of the main points, as Chapman expounds on the two stages of romantic love, is that most men do not understand or comprehend female sexuality. We go in assuming that they are like us - even if we give lip service to the differences in the sexes. One of my favorite quotes: "If I had known that taking out the garbage was sexy for my wife, I would have been taking out the garbage twice a day."
Probably one of the most relevant chapters is the one called "That spirituality is not to be equated with `going to church'," One of the things that stresses out more Christian marriages is when one of the spouses stops going to church as regularly after getting married. He is not saying that you shouldn't go to church, but that we shouldn't hold that as the golden standard of spirituality. It goes without being said that, to have a healthy spiritual life it is necessary to not forsake the gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).
This is a great supplement to Pre-marital counseling and, if that counseling is not feasible or possible, this book would give a great starting point for discussion on the hurdles and challenges that might/will pop up in every marriage. This would even be a good book for a married couple to go through and talk about - it could open the lines of communication on issues that have been simmering for some time.
Overall, this is not a world changing book, but it could end up changing your world.
From Third Option Men