Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know: Eleven Courageous Canines Tell All [Paperback]

Jeff Johnson (Author), Hy Conrad (Author)

Book Description

Release date: April 1, 2012

Dear Human:

Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand.

But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret.  Okay, a lot of secrets.

• We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something.
• Puppies know that they're being cute. They're using you.
• We don't sound anything like those silly voices you use to imitate us.
• We hate those ridiculous names you give some of us. Moonbeam is not a dignified name for a mutt.
• You might want to check your herb garden for fertilizer.
• We are only wearing this stupid birthday hat so we can get some cake. No self-respecting dog cares about his birthday.
• We are not spoiled, certainly not in comparison to teenage girls.
• We are in charge of the house. We let you pretend that you are.
• We'd be lost without you. We love you.

 

It's all in our new book, Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know, as told to humans Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson. Even Steve Martin (yes, THAT Steve Martin) raves about us!  Inside you'll find revelations such as the reason we at the sofa (leather tastes very similar to rawhide), and what we really think of the costumes you dress us up in.

I'm not alone. Ten other courageous canines have stepped forward to tell you what your dog won't – every last dirty, hairy bit of it.   If you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this book is a must-have.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks (April 1, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402263287
• ISBN-13: 978-1402263286
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #546,066 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

I laughed, my dog howled.

This is the perfect book for anyone who owns a dog, has ever owned one, or knows what a dog is. These guys made me laugh out loud – and captured my heart at the same time. The book is simply irresistible.

If everyone owned a dog, we would have world peace. If everyone reads this book, they will go and get a dog and we will have taken a big step in the right direction. So this book can save the world. It will definitely change your life.

Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson must have been dogs in another life. Their wry and witty insights into the minds of dogs are downright uncanny. Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know is hilarious and sensational.

STARRED REVIEW-"A delightful and amusing collection of comical canine "truths"...A whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with.

These entertaining authors know and love dogs and give them appealing voices...it's all about the stories.

At times poignant, at times hilarious,this canine tell-all will let even the most experienced dog owners in on the secret world of our best friends.

So, if you love dogs and enjoy humor, you'll love Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know. I did.

This is a cute book in how the author makes you think the dogs are talking to you and telling your their quips about life.

If you've ever wondered what your dog thinks about sharing his life with you and, if you're like me and have created your own "voice" for your dog already, you'll find this book is belly-laughing funny. I read it while stuck between flights at an airport and got a number of concerned looks from passengers hoping they wouldn't be sitting next to this crazy woman laughing hysterically while reading about dogs.

I think this is a very cute book and if you're the the type of person who would buy a book like this in the first place, then you'll probably like it a lot.

It was a funny, easy-to-read, laugh-out-loud book that dog owners will enjoy, yet dogs may have a cause of concern as now their secrets are out to us humans.

Not only was it funny, but you could pick and choose which little story you wanted to read, unlike a regular book where you have to go from beginning to end. I've picked it up countless times and read it over and over again, laughing each time. It would make a great gift for dog lovers too!

About the Author

Hy Conrad has spent his career writing for television -- he's one of the original writers for Monk, the USA series, and he was nominated three times for the Edgar Award for best TV Mystery episode. he has written a mystery series published by Sterling.Currently he is a writer and consulting producer on the TV show "White Collar." Jeff Johnson spent most of his life working in advertising, for giants such as JWT and DWB&B and prestigious creative shops, and he has created successful campaigns in nearly every consumer category. He wrote THE HOURGLASS SOLUTION: A BOOMER'S GUIDE TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks (April 1, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402263287
• ISBN-13: 978-1402263286
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #546,066 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I'd Rather Be At The Beach: Reviews September 7, 2012

By Vicki

Format:Paperback

I have a HUGE soft spot for dogs, so I was very excited to receive this book for review. Let me tell you, I LOVE this book!! Written from the dogs point of view, they tell you their thoughts on a lot of things you've probably wondered about, and why they do certain things.

One of my favorites was "The Questionnaire", answered by Rufus T. His answers are so funny!! One of the questions is "What makes you howl at the moon?" Rufus T. answers "I don't howl. I sing-anything but country." Thing is, he looks like that's the only thing he'd sing.

Another one was "Why Do I Eat Grass?" by Moonbeam. My dog eats grass every now and then and my husband has always said it's because she doesn't feel good. I really wanted Moonbeam to prove him wrong. So...did she? Read the book to find out!

If you are a dog lover, you'll love this book. If you're not a dog lover, you'll love this book. Go get one now, and get a few more for the dog lovers in your life. They'll thank you.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A+ For Dog Lovers April 5, 2012

By M. G. Gagliano VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

The 411 by Maria:

We LOVE this book. Back in the day I had blogs dedicated to the kids that were written in their voices. This reminds me so much of that. Written by 11 dogs to their owners, each dogs personality shines through on colorful, journal like pages. My particular favorites are the parenting advice the dogs have for their owners. "whose idea was it to put a new rug down at exactly the same time I had puppies" and "there have to be rules dear". This is the perfect book for dog lovers of all ages. Even my kids have started asking me to read the book to them. I have had to skip over and change some words but not often. They think the dogs should have their own show. They even have favorites. Goddess likes Tinkerbell and Handsome likes Dimples. Personally, I like Moonbeam, he cracks me up. Each dog has a distinct personality and you will find yourself wondering what your dog is thinking about. A+ for a fun, beautifully crafted book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars If you are in doubt . . . "Click to Look Inside." November 4, 2012

By Diane Walters

Format:Paperback

This is a darling book and I was thrilled when it came in the mail. My initial reaction when I started reading the book was one of confusion. I was expecting essays of a more serious/personal nature, perhaps, with a little comedy on the side. I didn't realize that the book was going to be full of comedy sketches. Once I tuned in on that aspect--I had great fun with it.

The graphic design is excellent! It is brightly colored in the style of a scrapbook. Each dog has its own page design and font for the letters he/she writes to you. Every personality has a different voice and story to tell. The authors did a great job in matching the personality to each breed. The breeds are: Yellow Lab, Border Collie, Boxer, Chihuahua, Bull Dog, Cocker Spaniel, German Shepherd, Miniature Schnauzer, Mixed Breed, Long Haired Dachshund, Blood Hound.

Some books you read and can't wait to give them away. This book? You'll want to pass on to other people, but only with a new copy because you won't be able to part with its perky design and the delightful little stories. It is a great little coffee table book, great for a gift, great for the holidays, and just a lot of fun all the way around. Be forewarned . . . if you dare take it to work to show your colleagues--I guarantee you'll never see it again.

So, go ahead . . . "Click to Look Inside this book" and see why most everyone gave it a great review.

**Note to Orson--don't eat any more grapes. They are toxic to dogs. You'll get sick and maybe die.

I'd like to thank the authors: Jeff Johnson and Hy Conrad, and the art director Dean Stefanides for this beautiful copy and all the joy they've provided with this adorable book; and, to [...] for this opportunity to--review the book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Secret Lives of Dogs Revealed September 22, 2012

By Suzanne Pitner

Format:Paperback

This book review almost didn't happen. My daughter saw the book on my coffee table and immediately grabbed it to take to her house.

"Not so fast," I told her. "I'm doing a book review. After I finish, I'll let you borrow it." If the book had made it into the depths of her handbag, I would have never seen it again and you wouldn't be reading about this funny new release today.

So you thought Bad Kitties was hilarious? This book takes the concept one step further. Instead of just seeing a picture with a caption, in Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know takes you from puppyhood to elder dogs' lives and provides insight into the inner workings of their mysterious minds.

Reading this book you'll discover:

* What that Chihuahua is really thinking as she rides around in her owner's purse.
* The real reason police dogs love their jobs.
* The truth about why dogs eat your favorite furniture.

When I first began reading this book, I thought I could skip around and read whatever chapter I wanted in any order. But I quickly realized, this is a story of dogs' lives and each chapter builds on the last, developing these memorable and adorable characters. I want to find Axelrod and bring him home.

All in all, this is a highly enjoyable read, a fun book to keep on your coffee table or to give as a gift to any dog lover you know. I give it five woofs.

I received my copy from Virtual Author Book Tours in exchange for an honest review.