7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway [Paperback]

Jenifer Marshall Lippincott (Author), Robin M. Deutsch (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2005

The essence of adolescence hasn't changed since this book was first published in 2005. Their brains haven't skipped a growth spurt; their search for identity hasn't been called off or even detoured; they haven't forgotten how to speak with the ease of attitude. And yet, fingers fly across keys to a host of new adolescent domains - from texting to iTunes, from chats to anything-on-demand. This update traverses new adolescent territory, both charted and uncharted, to bring parents up-to-speed on what to expect and how to deal.

Every teenager keeps secrets, and if you're like most parents, you worry about what your kids don't tell you--especially when they prefer text messages and social networking sites to face-to-face conversation. Now this popular guide has been revised and updated to address the challenges parents face with a wired and Web-savvy generation. Jenifer Lippincott and Robin Deutsch offer a deceptively simple plan for talking to your kids that's based on a simple set of rules: Teens need to stay safe, show respect, and keep in touch--online, and in real life.

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Any resource that helps parents decipher the thoughts, feelings, and actions of teenagers is sure to have great appeal. Lippincott and Deutsch, an educator and a psychologist, offer straightforward advice on understanding teens and keeping them out of harm's way as much as possible. The first section of the book reviews psychological and physiological research on brain development in adolescents. The authors then identify seven important facts to keep in mind, among them: truth is a malleable concept for teens, they suffer from distorted self-images, and they are attracted to risks. Throughout, the authors focus on three clear and simple rules of engagement--stay safe, show respect, and keep in touch--with helpful vignettes to demonstrate how parents can apply the rules in a variety of situations aimed not at controlling teens but minimizing their exposure to risky situations. Parents of teens will recognize the us-and-them dialogues and will find encouragement and guidance. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review

“Page-turners are rare on the parenting bookshelf, but Lippincott and Deutsch have given us just that. Their insights, humor, and excellent judgment make this a must for parents looking for the road map through the adolescent minefield. It is worth every minute you spend with them.”—Kyle Pruett, M.D., professor of child psychiatry, Yale School of Medicine, co-author of Partnership Parenting

“7 Things Your Teenager Won’t Tell You provides valuable new insights based on contemporary research, while showing parents how to identify the seven features of adolescent thinking through language and behavior. This book offers not only the understanding that is essential to effective and supportive communication but also helpful examples of how to put that understanding into practice.”—David Elkind, PhD., author of The Hurried Child
 
“Sound, concrete advice . . . This book gives a wealth of examples to help guide parents who struggle to stay connected during this critical time in their children’s lives. I highly recommend it.”—Alvin F. Poussaint, M.D., professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
 
“All teens pose unique challenges to their poor unsuspecting parents, but thankfully there are some commonalities. This book shares them with a goldmine of information, and offers concrete suggestions on how to deal.”—Robin Raskin, former editor-in-chief of Family PC magazine

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (March 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812969596
• ISBN-13: 978-0812969597
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #42,956 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Extraordinary guide for parents, April 8, 2005

By 

No Suspicion (Portland, OR United States) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: 7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway (Paperback)

I don't review many items on Amazon, but this book is special. Teens drive parents crazy; but if you follow the suggestions in this text, and listen to its message, I suspect that you, like me, will find yourself parenting with new skill and renewed inspiration. I can't recommend this highly enough. I shared my copy with several friends, all of whom are parents of teenagers, and everyone was wowed. You will get practical hints. You will learn to separate what's important and what's not; you will learn when to communicate, when to listen, and how to discipline. You will see the mistakes you've made, and learn to correct them. Simply awesome.

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Meaty, Practical Guide for Raising Teens, April 29, 2005

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Sara Hunter "sarahunter" (South Natick, MA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: 7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway (Paperback)

I am so impressed with the overall usefulness of this instruction manual for healthy interaction with teenagers. The sample conversations are never cutesy or forced but imminently practical and relevant. Lippincott and Deutsch have done a terrific job packing a ton of valuable content into a book accessible for busy parents and educators. The writing is clever and the content substantial. In addition to the impressive group of endorsers already praising the book from Elkind to Poussaint, I feel any expert in the field of adolescence will want to know about this one. Don't let the book's trendy appearance deceive you; this is a work of substance that should be around to help people for a very long time. I particularly appreciated the clarity and fairness of the "Rules of Play" the authors propose as the basis for productive interaction between teens and parents. Unlike so many approaches, these rules of play promote effective communication rather than taking sides. This objective approach may frustrate teens with a rotten agenda as much as adults with a self-righteous one, but, if followed, will result in safety for kids and balance for parents. What an accomplishment!

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Is Something Special, March 2, 2005

By 

Kathryn K. Baran (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: 7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway (Paperback)

This book is something really special -- it took my breath away with its keen insights, new analyses, and helpful suggestions for every parent of every adolescent. In brief, the substance is outstanding. I've parented my 3.5 children through adolescence (one is only half-way there), and I promise that what this offers readers is truly helpful . . . brilliant actually, and that the methods suggested will truly work. The writing is clear and direct, funny, reasonable, and chock-o-block with legitimate examples of situations and genuine dialogue. The authors have created a new approach to an age-old problem, one that every parent faces, and for which most parents have sought some guidance. My own little home library has quite a section devoted to adolescents, like "How to talk so your teenager will listen," and "The angry teenager," and a few others with "teen" or "adolescent" in the title. This is the best book I've read, by far.