Customer Reviews

7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway

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I don't review many items on Amazon, but this book is special. Teens drive parents crazy; but if you follow the suggestions in this text, and listen to its message, I suspect that you, like me, will find yourself parenting with new skill and renewed inspiration. I can't recommend this highly enough. I shared my copy with several friends, all of whom are parents of teenagers, and everyone was wowed. You will get practical hints. You will learn to separate what's important and what's not; you will learn when to communicate, when to listen, and how to discipline. You will see the mistakes you've made, and learn to correct them. Simply awesome.

I am so impressed with the overall usefulness of this instruction manual for healthy interaction with teenagers. The sample conversations are never cutesy or forced but imminently practical and relevant. Lippincott and Deutsch have done a terrific job packing a ton of valuable content into a book accessible for busy parents and educators. The writing is clever and the content substantial. In addition to the impressive group of endorsers already praising the book from Elkind to Poussaint, I feel any expert in the field of adolescence will want to know about this one. Don't let the book's trendy appearance deceive you; this is a work of substance that should be around to help people for a very long time. I particularly appreciated the clarity and fairness of the "Rules of Play" the authors propose as the basis for productive interaction between teens and parents. Unlike so many approaches, these rules of play promote effective communication rather than taking sides. This objective approach may frustrate teens with a rotten agenda as much as adults with a self-righteous one, but, if followed, will result in safety for kids and balance for parents. What an accomplishment!

This book is something really special -- it took my breath away with its keen insights, new analyses, and helpful suggestions for every parent of every adolescent. In brief, the substance is outstanding. I've parented my 3.5 children through adolescence (one is only half-way there), and I promise that what this offers readers is truly helpful . . . brilliant actually, and that the methods suggested will truly work. The writing is clear and direct, funny, reasonable, and chock-o-block with legitimate examples of situations and genuine dialogue. The authors have created a new approach to an age-old problem, one that every parent faces, and for which most parents have sought some guidance. My own little home library has quite a section devoted to adolescents, like "How to talk so your teenager will listen," and "The angry teenager," and a few others with "teen" or "adolescent" in the title. This is the best book I've read, by far.

One of Mother Nature's cruelest tricks is to lock mothers who are marching toward menopause in the same house with teenagers who are fighting for independence. But finally I found a book that actually helped the hormonally-challenged generations in our house come to some important agreements.

I have read dozens of books on raising teenagers, but this is the ONLY ONE that has captured the attention of every member of our family. It's well-researched and fun, but most importantly, it offers 3 simple rules--Stay Safe, Show Respect, Keep in Touch--that our teenagers agree they can follow!! And when they slip up, it offers reasonable consequences that even they can swallow.

READ THIS BOOK AND THEN LEAVE IT OUT WHERE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS CAN FLIP THROUGH IT. I am not exaggerating when I say that it will change the way you and your teens interact.

Terrific. I married into a family with a teenage stepdaughter. I had no children before that. This book has quickly become my most trusted companion. Just being able to refer back to the three rules - stay safe, keep in touch, and show respect - with my daughter has given both of us a firm place to work from. It's an enormous help in my dealings with her version of the truth, my too frequent need to control her, her good and bad friends and what she does with them, and keeping respect for the house, family and each other. Wow. Indispensable.

I did not purchase SEVEN THINGS YOUR TEENAGER WON'T TELL YOU AND HOW TO TALK ABOUT THEM ANYWAY because I am a parent. I do work with young people and their parents on a frequent basis. I also have to lead discussions about difficult subjects and have found many of the young people I have worked with in the pages of this book. I have also had to listen to parents and teachers speak about day to day issues with teenagers, suggested this book to them, and they too have found the same things I did. Professionally, the book piqued my interest. I also had a second motivation. I am attempting to write a novel and the main character is a father of four children, three of them in their teens. Like most people attempting to write, I want my characters to be accurate and non-stereotypical. I am not sure whether the book has helped me with my writing, but after reading it and recommending it to teachers and parents who have also read it, I can say this book is sure to become a godsend for many people involved in the lives of young people.

Jennifer Marshall Lippincott and Robin M. Deutsch discuss the issues facing teenagers and the best way parents can talk with them about these issues. The two present current theories about adolescents as well as the most recent research regarding adolescent brain development. They have insights as to why adolescents can lie, acknowledge the importance of friends in the lives of adolescents, but offer evidence that contradicts popular theory, namely that friends have more of an influence than parents and other trusted adults. This seems to be what prompted them to write this book and encourage communication between adults and teens in spite of what appear to be obstacles. The book is written in an upbeat manner and offers a number of suggestions as to both how to and not to talk to teens, offering sample conversations.

Some readers may find that they do not agree with all of Lippincott and Deutsch's points of view regarding the subjects presented in the book, but the methods they present for talking to and perhaps more importantly, listening to teens, both by what they say and do not say, can be invaluable to any parent, teacher, or youth worker whop wants to help teens navigate what can be challenging years and help them as they grow into healthy adults.

I picked this book up during a very stressful time. It is a very useful, comforting book that is rooted firmly in the reality that teens and parents face. It won't sugar coat things or offer glib solutions, but the framework proposed is durable and workable for just about every family at every teen stage. I'll read it again and again, and will recommend it and give it to people who are entering that teenage zone.

When I read the 7 Things for the first time I had two pre-teen boys who were changing right before my very eyes into teenage boy/men about whom I knew very little. This book helped me to keep ahead of the curve of their budding adolescence as I learned how to look for the potential barriers ahead, to anticipate what they might say, and to understand better what life was like inside the heads and hearts of teens. Now that the boys are in their later teen years, I am amazed at how applicable, accessible, enlightening and practical the wisdom and advice still is in this book! The Three Rules of Play are repeated over and over again in our home as the basic ground rules for their lives and for our family life....my kids can repeat them in their sleep! The role-plays and scenarios offered throughout the book not only explain the subtext of what's really happening in an interaction; they also offer great tips and come-backs that promote understanding and connection. I have recommended this book over and over again to friends, parents, and educators, and will keep it as one of my primary go-to books for raising my sons and launching them into adulthood.

As a psychologist who works with parents of adolescents, high school teachers, and therapists, as well as a mother who has raised five teenage girls, this book is a must read. It is the only book about adolescents that deals with critical matters, (e.g., the adolescent brain) in such a way that the most significant and up to date neuropsychological concepts are easily digestible. I have had many patients describe a stronger connection with their teenagers after reading this book.

The revised edition is an even more critical guide for better understanding a teen's major source of communication (i.e., social media/the Internet) . The book is unusual in that it offers insights into everyday adolescent behavior (e.g., how lack of sleep really does affect grades) as well as provides recommendations for dealing with normative issues (e.g., how to respond to a child's bedroom door that is chronically closed) . I strongly recommend that every pediatrician, school psychologist, and therapist's office have this wonderful book in their waiting area for their patients. It is a wonderful gift to give parents this holiday season as it offers novel ways to explain some of the most turbulent years of their child's life and their relationship with their adolescent. It is also a great gift to give any teenager to help them learn about themselves and to send the message that adults are really trying to understand them.

I read your first edition when my children were pre-adolescent hoping that I would be armed and ready for those challenging years. Now that my kids are full-on adolescents and I realize that your research-based insights are exactly what I need to face the incredible challenge of adolescence!!! But the world has changed in these intervening six years - the impact of social media and the internet has completely changed the conversation. This insightful book helps navigate these new and dangerous waters. Stressors are now in their own bedrooms in the form of the internet. Keeping them safe - emotionally and physically has taken on a whole new meaning. Reading this book is must reading for every parent today! Thanks for the updated version.