Canned Unicorn Meat

by ThinkGeek

• Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.
• The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed!

Product Details

• Product Dimensions: 4 x 3.6 x 2.7 inches ; 4 ounces
• Shipping Weight: 5.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• ASIN: B004CRYE2C
• Manufacturer recommended age: 16 years and up
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,146 in Toys & Games (See Top 100 in Toys & Games)
  • #12 in Toys & Games > Baby & Toddler Toys > Stuffed Animals & Toys
  • #100 in Toys & Games > Stuffed Animals & Toys
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (162 customer reviews)

Product Description

No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

454 of 472 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Delicious! June 18, 2011

By "Halo"

Durability: 2.0 out of 5 stars    Educational: 2.0 out of 5 stars    Fun: 4.0 out of 5 stars   

Of course this isn't as good as fresh, but who has time to hunt unicorns these days?

I'm a busy professional so I don't have the luxury of just grabbing my bow and quiver and spending days in the high glens hunting fresh 'corn. This product allows me to come home from a hectic day and enjoy a meal packed with that special nutrition only unicorn can provide. I even keep a few cans at the office for those late nights.

But seriously, this is a great, funny and 'tasteful' gag gift. We received ours from a relative last Christmas and as it was unwrapped everyone burst out in laughter when we saw what it was. The unicorn meat comes in a Spam-shaped can, complete with funny but realistic product information on the side labels.

This gift was enjoyable enough as it was, but then my wife pointed out that the can lid can be pried off to reveal plush unicorn 'parts' inside. Very clever and a great deal of fun for the price. I'm going to be giving a few out to co-workers this Christmas.

One last note: I don't think this gift would be appropriate for small children due to the small stuffed parts as they might be a choking hazard.

272 of 287 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Gag Gift Ever!! January 4, 2011

By Silence

Amazon Verified Purchase

Durability: 3.0 out of 5 stars    Educational: 5.0 out of 5 stars    Fun: 5.0 out of 5 stars   

This is more of an explanation to why I rated this the way I did. How fun is it? Extremely fun if you get it for your mother who happens to be a Unicorn fanatic and then make her open the present for the first time in front of the entire family. Educational value is more for the reciever, if the reciever once gave you Neil Diamond albums for christmas when you were 16 and you were expecting something that sucked much less. Durability is also at the hands of the reciever, especially when the Unicorn fanatical of a mum wants to throw it at your head. Overall this toy brought everyone in my family a great teary eyed moment of ROFL. Thank you Think Geek, for giving me the best revenge tool money can buy!

872 of 950 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars The Agony of the Unicorns April 21, 2012

By V. Zhirinovsky

Durability: 1.0 out of 5 stars    Educational: 1.0 out of 5 stars    Fun: 1.0 out of 5 stars   

Don't order this product if you have a conscience. The unicorns in the industrial unicorn farms live in appalling conditions, in many cases worse than those of the pegasus ranches. Don't believe the propaganda of Lisa Frank and the other tycoons of big unicorn; all that awaits these poor creatures is the abattoir and the rainbow factory. Be ethical and buy (kosher) dragon meat instead.