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WARNING:
CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs. |
Product Details
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Product Description
No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real!
Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite
Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.
Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts
Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
462 of 481 people found the following review helpful
By "Halo"
Durability:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Educational:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Fun:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Of course this isn't as good as fresh, but who has time to hunt unicorns these days?
I'm a busy professional so I don't have the luxury of just grabbing my bow and quiver and spending days in the high glens hunting fresh 'corn. This product allows me to come home from a hectic day and enjoy a meal packed with that special nutrition only unicorn can provide. I even keep a few cans at the office for those late nights.
But seriously, this is a great, funny and 'tasteful' gag gift. We received ours from a relative last Christmas and as it was unwrapped everyone burst out in laughter when we saw what it was. The unicorn meat comes in a Spam-shaped can, complete with funny but realistic product information on the side labels.
This gift was enjoyable enough as it was, but then my wife pointed out that the can lid can be pried off to reveal plush unicorn 'parts' inside. Very clever and a great deal of fun for the price. I'm going to be giving a few out to co-workers this Christmas.
One last note: I don't think this gift would be appropriate for small children due to the small stuffed parts as they might be a choking hazard.
I'm a busy professional so I don't have the luxury of just grabbing my bow and quiver and spending days in the high glens hunting fresh 'corn. This product allows me to come home from a hectic day and enjoy a meal packed with that special nutrition only unicorn can provide. I even keep a few cans at the office for those late nights.
But seriously, this is a great, funny and 'tasteful' gag gift. We received ours from a relative last Christmas and as it was unwrapped everyone burst out in laughter when we saw what it was. The unicorn meat comes in a Spam-shaped can, complete with funny but realistic product information on the side labels.
This gift was enjoyable enough as it was, but then my wife pointed out that the can lid can be pried off to reveal plush unicorn 'parts' inside. Very clever and a great deal of fun for the price. I'm going to be giving a few out to co-workers this Christmas.
One last note: I don't think this gift would be appropriate for small children due to the small stuffed parts as they might be a choking hazard.
277 of 293 people found the following review helpful
By Silence
Amazon Verified Purchase
Durability:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Educational:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fun:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This is more of an explanation to why I rated this the way I did. How fun is it? Extremely fun if you get it for your mother who happens to be a Unicorn fanatic and then make her open the present for the first time in front of the entire family. Educational value is more for the reciever, if the reciever once gave you Neil Diamond albums for christmas when you were 16 and you were expecting something that sucked much less. Durability is also at the hands of the reciever, especially when the Unicorn fanatical of a mum wants to throw it at your head. Overall this toy brought everyone in my family a great teary eyed moment of ROFL. Thank you Think Geek, for giving me the best revenge tool money can buy!
896 of 975 people found the following review helpful
Durability:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Educational:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Fun:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Don't order this product if you have a conscience. The unicorns in the industrial unicorn farms live in appalling conditions, in many cases worse than those of the pegasus ranches. Don't believe the propaganda of Lisa Frank and the other tycoons of big unicorn; all that awaits these poor creatures is the abattoir and the rainbow factory. Be ethical and buy (kosher) dragon meat instead.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
FANTASTIC
For many years, I have been on a quest to fart Rainbows. I thought that Unicorn Meat would finally be my answer! Read more
Published 2 days ago by Matt Rauch
2.0 out of 5 stars
Warning!
They claim these unicorns were fed on rainbows, but I can tell from the taste their diet was mostly clouds. Keep looking if you have a discerning taste for RAINBOW fed 'corn!
Published 2 days ago by robjaws77
1.0 out of 5 stars
Warning Customers in EU
US deliveries of this product contain nothing but finest free range Unicorn loin (pink and juicy, nice mouth feel and just a hint of sparkles on the finish). Read more
Published 4 days ago by Dubs
5.0 out of 5 stars
Cheer somebody up
I bought this to cheer up my friend who broke his foot. He loved it. Mission accomplished.
This is not a play toy
This is not a play toy
Published 4 days ago by C. M. Scheben
5.0 out of 5 stars
Taste that u never expected
A kind of meat that you could never and ever find in other places in earth.
Its Color, texture, favor all make you fall in love with it at first bite. Read more
Its Color, texture, favor all make you fall in love with it at first bite. Read more
Published 11 days ago by Samuel Wong
4.0 out of 5 stars
It's delicious, but
Do NOT eat too much of this stuff at once. I had the rainbow runs for a week. The entire complex smelled like hopes and dreams.
Published 14 days ago by Irma Gerd
5.0 out of 5 stars
Tastes like chicken
They really need to add some pixie dust to it. It was kind of bland, and tastes like chicken. Might be better if it was in the form of a hot dog.
Published 14 days ago by blondebananaslicer
1.0 out of 5 stars
I hope you know
you are all going to Hell in a rainbow handbasket. It is strictly against the prophecy to kill and consume unicorns. Read more
Published 19 days ago by Aggie Angst
3.0 out of 5 stars
Help!
I'm rather embarrassed to ask, but I was the only in my household who ate this and... is it normal to fart rainbows after ingesting this?
Published 23 days ago by Flam
4.0 out of 5 stars
Beware of the Horse meat scandal packed as Unicorn!!!
Beware of the horse taint in your unicorn meat! I ordered this recently and opened it to find what looked to be a horse hoof inside, NOT a unicorn! Read more
Published 28 days ago by BJensen
