Customer Reviews

Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds (Second Revised Edition)

5 star:		(36)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is an excellent book. It should be read by everyone who is living and working overseas, away from their home environment, especially those who have their children with them. Succinctly, with erudition, and with an easy-to-read style it examines and explains the problems experienced by a person who spends, or has spent, a significant part of his or her development years outside their parents' home culture. It contains much practical advice on how to deal with these problems. The term third culture was coined in the 1950s by Drs John and Ruth Useem, when they made a study of Americans who lived in India as foreign service officers, missionaries, technical aid workers, and business representatives. It was realised that there were expatriates from other countries who were undergoing similar experiences even though from different origins, styles and social stratification systems. There was a shared common lifestyle that was different from either their own or their host culture. The book is a result of much research that the authors have undertaken since that time into the effects of this third culture on the children of overseas serving ex-pats. However, the experiences so neatly described pertain not only to what they call third culture kids (TCKs) but also to adult TCKs. Furthermore, the wisdom and advice displayed in this delightfully readable book is also fully appropriate for those working and living overseas without children. It makes it clear why so many people who do a spell overseas get "bitten by the bug," and are drawn back to the place where they did their tour, often permanently. An overseas duty can be an emotionally exciting experience, but it can also be and emotionally disturbing one. This book explains why this is so, as well as explaining how the disturbances can be dealt with.

My husband and I have been international educators since 1988 and both of our daughters were born overseas. As parents who intend to remain abroad throughout our children's educational career we have found this book to offer valuable advice as well as points to ponder. However, the authors do us a favor in not romanticizing the prospect of raising children abroad. Indeed, perhaps the most beneficial information can be found by paying heed to the potential pitfalls outlined that may impact the uninformed.

Additionally, through reading this book our professional observations gained while teaching in four countries on three different continents have been taken on greater significance. The insight the authors share regarding issues hitherto acknowledged have contributed to a better understanding of the challenges that our students face as second- and third-generation Third Culture Kids (TCKs).

I highly recommend this book for all parents and teachers living abroad as well as TCKs who are wondering if their capacities as `cultural chameleons' means that there is something wrong with them.

I was a Third Culture Kid and I found this book helpfull in understanding who I am 40 years later. (I found the TCK phrase awkward but could think of none better.)

I also think this would be of use to people whose childhood was similar to the TCK's. Especially children who had little stability while growing up. Divorce, parential deaths, and especially children shunted off to boarding schools.

Many boarding schools provide a fairly good life and a substitute family, but when it's over, it's over. and then who am I?

After growing up overseas (in Saudi Arabia) for all of my early childhood memories and then leaving abrubtly (in 1986)as a freshman in college... it was devastating to try to figure out what was going on with me! It was bizarre because I looked American, sounded American, ACTED American, but I felt so different and I definetly saw the world through different eyes. I felt so out of step and just couldn't quite get a grip. At the time there wasn't much information out and a friend contacted me a few years later with a few articles put together by this author and eventually Mr. Pollock wrote this book. When I first read it I swear it was a turning point for me. It felt like a total "lightbulb" moment! It all made sense finally and it was as if it freed me up to realize who I really was. (It probably sounds hokey, but ... it's true.) I am actually married now and strangely enough living back in Saudi Arabia where I have been doing Third Culture Kid seminars for the parents of TCKs. I think the most important thing that parents can understand about TCKs is that when they tell their kids they are moving back "home" - they need to realize that for a child that's grown up overseas.... they are LEAVING the only home they have ever known sometimes. 10 years to an adult might be nothing, but to a child who moved overseas at 4.... it is a lifetime of memories and friends.

I can not say enough about this book. It explains so much and any parent who is living overseas and raising children should be required to read this book before making a big move. (In some more severe cases, it could even be a literal life saver.)

If you have a child who has grown up overseas and seems to be floundering... isn't sure why they aren't making friends, is depressed but can't explain why... this book might be the best place to start. Like another reviewer said "it's really cheap therapy!"

Really loved that book, the first time I felt understood in a very long time. I grew up in Peru and Spain, studied in the USA then moved to my "home country" Germany-(now I live in San Diego!). You really grasp every single feeling one experiences and the examples mentioned in the book could very well be me! .................... Saludos H.

A must read for anyone who spent their childhood abroad. Finally, there are words to express what I already know. I highly recommend it.

David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken have written a book that is invaluable to families who live overseas. Their understanding of the unique interpersonal and intrapersonal needs of persons in transition, coming and going from culture to culture, is first-hand as well as being well researched. It has been an essential tool for me as I work with students and families in the international/expatriate community. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

This book is a well-written, clear and systematic treatment of what is surely a difficult theme, because everything pertaining to TCKs is so personal.

I had several "Aha" moments while reading this book. In fact, I ended up re-reading and underlining several passages.

Constantly being dislocated, constantly switching between educational systems and meeting all kinds of people impacts one more than one would care to imagine! A lot of it is definitely positive; there are some negative consequences, too.

TCKs bear the unintended consequences of decisions made by our parents, by the organizations they worked for, and by a host of a lot of factors we simply cannot control -- but which impact us in unpredictable ways. I would strongly recommend this to those who have lived abroad during their developmental years.

I am 29 years old, along with my parents and sisters we left the Philippines for Ethiopia when I was 9; at 10 I went to live with fellow missionaries at an overseas school some 700 km away from my new home because my mom & I couldn't manage homestudying! I ended up living with 2 families in one semester because the other left for PR (permanent return). After spending another year at home, a sister and I left for the Philippines where we lived wtih my aunt, she went to the local high school and I ended up in the international school on campus because the local school was full because I couldn't register on time. After that year, I was reuprooted to an American-based international boarding school in Kenya for 5 years, where I left for my new home in Botswana (my parents had transferred then) every school break. I started my first year in college in Botswana, knowing I would go to the States the next year. I ended up going to school in Ohio, then Tennessee, then was planning on moving to Texas when Australia became an option. Until a friend of mine from boarding school told me I should pick a place to call home, I eventually went back to Ohio to finish the degree I started. I moved to Texas shortly after graduation, stayed close to my sisters and a handful of relatives (the few that I know of), found a great church, got into everything--a church worship band where I played keyboards, then I decided I wanted to play drums, so I learned. I became part of a singles ministry, and the health ministry, and once in a while played basketball, and loved soccer (when no one really plays it that much here in this country) I wanted to learn Spanish, French, and Arabic because it was clear that I had a gift for picking up languages quickly, took special interest in foreign clients at work. I was ambitious, wanted to do everything all at once, had so many dreams to pursue as if I was afraid to waste my life. But I felt stuck. I started hating my job very quickly and was afraid to go back to school because I didn't want to get stuck in this country. I was choosing long-distace relationships knowing there would be an excuse for why things wouldn't work out. I was moving fast and succumbed to depression because eventually, I felt I wanted everything but didn't know what I really wanted. I found this book very recently during the last 3 days of my visit to Botswana where my parents still are. It brought tears to my eyes--10 years of going to psychologists and reading COUNTLESS conventional psychology and self-help motivating books of all kinds (all very good and helpful but only to a certain extent) I finally felt like I have been reached. I belong somewhere. Understood. Accepted. Uplifted. Affirmed. I had known about TCKs and global nomads for about 6 years, but didn't realize how fundamental it was to and was affecting all the choices I made for my present and my future. This book addressed my fears, inadequacies, my longings, my depression, my uniqueness. I knew there was something special about my perspective, my lenses. But my basic needs to be understood and to belong and to relate to other people intimately needed something no conventional method could address. I thank God adn I thank the authors for writing this book. I finally belong, and I world just got smaller and more bearable. And I feel like I don't have to do everthing to be somebody. It has already started to take my life on a positive turn and I'm only on page 60!

I am an ATCK in my 40s, and reading this book has proven to be a very profound experience. It allowed me to come to terms with issues that I have been trying to get to the bottom of my whole life. It was like psychotherapy but much cheaper!! The authors are thorough and thoughtful, and absolutely nail the issues that TCKs and ATCKs find themselves in possession of through no fault of their own. This book should be required reading for anyone preparing to move their families to the mission field. It should be required reading for all foreign missions administrative staff. To be in the field of foreign missions and not heed the information in this book is irresponsible in my opinion.