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Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Across America
 
 
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Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Across America [Hardcover]

Mark Oppenheimer (Author)
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)


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Book Description

May 12, 2005
A striking look at the Jewish rite-and at American Jews in all their diversity

Since its emergence here a century ago, the bar or bat mitzvah has become a distinctively American rite of passage, so much so that, in certain suburbs today, gentile families throw parties for their thirteen-year-olds, lest they feel left out. How did this come about? To answer that question, Mark Oppenheimer set out across America to attend the most distinctive b'nai mitzvah he could find, and Thirteen and a Day is the story of what he found- an altogether fresh look at American Jews today.

Beginning with the image of a party of gaudy excess, Oppenheimer then goes farther afield in the great tradition of literary journalists from Joseph Mitchell to Ian Frazier and Susan Orlean. The two dozen Jews of Fayetteville, Arkansas, he finds, open their synagogue to eccentrics from all over the Ozarks. Those of Lake Charles, Louisiana, pass the hat to cover the expenses of their potluck dinner. And in Anchorage, Alaska, a Hasidic boy's bar mitzvah in a snowed-in hotel becomes a striking image of how far the Jewish diaspora has spread. In these people's company, privy to their soul-searching about their religious heritage, Oppenheimer finds that the day is full of wonder and significance.

Part travelogue, part spiritual voyage, Thirteen and a Day is a lyrical, entertaining, even revelatory look at American Jews and one of the most original books of literary journalism to appear in some years.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Oppenheimer, raised in Springfield, Mass., by a mother born of "communist, atheist schoolteachers" and a father born of "irreligious German-American Jews" grew up in a home where "Leftism, not Torah or Zionism, was what mattered." Freshly armed with a Ph.D. in religious history from Yale, he embarked on a two-year odyssey to study the history of b'nai mitzvah—the Jewish tradition marking the beginning of one's adult religious obligations. Like Odysseus, though, he becomes distracted—by the Scylla and Charybdis of lavish New York and L.A. parties (he is very clear about his disdain for this practice) and by a hippie sculptor attending a service in Fayetteville, Ark. Surprisingly, despite a year of travel "across America," he focuses on only a few far-flung communities west of greater New York—Tampa, Fla.; Fayetteville, Ark.; Anchorage, Alaska; and St. Charles, La. Some readers will wonder: What about Cincinnati, home to Reform Judaism? Or Natchez, Miss., site of the oldest shul in the South? His stories, while fascinating, often focus more on the Jewish landscape of these towns, the histories of congregants and participants and less on the actual honoree, whether it's a 13-year-old or, in the case of the St. Charles celebrations, converting adults well past 50. Not really a story of teenage reaction to the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, this is a very personal rumination on Judaism in snapshot form. (June 6)

From Booklist

In popular culture, the bar mitzvah (bat mitzvah for girls), the ceremony welcoming individuals, usually but not always children, into the Jewish community, has a mixed reputation. Occasionally it is presented as an excuse for excess rather than a genuine affirmation of faith. So, why, wonders Oppenheimer, given the dubious rep and the fact that the rite is never mentioned in the Torah, do b'nai mitzvahs remain popular not only among observant Jews but also across the American Jewish spectrum? To find out, he traveled the country, visiting a highly selective but intriguing sampling of children, grown-ups, rabbis, parents, and guests to find what role the observance plays in the lives of modern American Jews. Despite occasional snideness, especially regarding his frustration at not getting access to one New York congregation's young celebrants and ceremonies, Oppenheimer's revelations are well contextualized and thoughtful. He comes to see the celebration as not only a marker of Jewish endurance through the ages but also a compelling slice of Jewish life that lays to rest the stereotypes. Stephanie Zvirin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux; 1ST edition (May 12, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0374106657
  • ISBN-13: 978-0374106652
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,439,949 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Mark Oppenheimer writes for the New York Times Magazine, Mother Jones, Slate, the Forward, and Tablet. He teaches English and political science at Yale, where he is the director of the Yale Journalism Initiative. The author of two previous books and a founding editor of the New Haven Review (newhavenreview.com), Mark lives with his family in New Haven, Connecticut. For more information, please check his website at markoppenheimer.com.

 

Customer Reviews

6 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (6 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Finding Yourself by Finding Others, July 22, 2005
This review is from: Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Across America (Hardcover)
This wonderful book charts a double journey. It is a journalist's voyage through Jewish America, with Oppenheimer serving as a kind of traveling anthropologist who is examining an important religious ritual in its various manifestations. But it is also an autobiography, a coming-to-grips with roots, with the possibilities for religious belief, and a quasi-Oedipal rebellion against the author's frankly secular, modern, atheistic, non-observant, left-wing Jewish parents, who came of age in the 60s. Young Oppenheimer, a product of the 90s, came to look at the Jewish religion first in an academic way, and then was gradually drawn in to the mysteries and the doctrines of his people. By looking at the practice of the Bar and Bat Mitzvah in expected places (New York City) as well as unexpected ones (Alaska, Arkansas), Oppenheimer presents a full and generous (as well as a funny and informative) account of why people worship and believe as they do. The book makes sense for anyone involved in a similar personal quest, or for anyone interested in fine writing.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars First-rate and Very Readable, September 11, 2005
This review is from: Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Across America (Hardcover)
This is a first-rate survey of an established custom. The book goes through many varieties of bar and bat mitzvat, demonstrating that they are not all alike. It focuses on values and choices, so that a person planning a bar or bat mitzvah can reflect on the values that he or she wishes to convey to the bar or bat mitzvah and to the congregation at large. While it is highly readable -- and not at all boring -- it has a significant depth that educates and challenges preconceived notions. It should be read by all parents who contemplate a bar or bat mitzvah for their child. I have otdered additiional copies for other family members for this reason.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Today I am a fountain pen..., September 27, 2006
By 
Phelps Gates (Chapel Hill, NC USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Across America (Hardcover)
Even though it's nominally about bar mitzvah celebrations, this book really uses them as a taking-off point to look at the state of Judaism in America today, from Temple Emanu-El to the Lubavitchers, with numerous stops in between. I had actually expected (with a mixture of anticipation and dread) that the book would be mostly about the over-the-top parties of the type we see in the recent movie Keeping Up With The Steins. Oppenheimer does discuss these affairs, but most of the book is about the personal Jewish experience in a variety of places around the country: I found the most interesting part to be the study of a tiny congregation in St. Charles, Louisiana. Highly readable, highly recommended.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
Does a Jew need permission to loiter in a synagogue and chat with other Jews? Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
party motivators, laying tefillin, bat mitzvah, mitzvah speech, mitzvah boy, mitzvah party, senior rabbi, bar mitzvah, mitzvah girls, mitzvah parties, mitzvah ceremonies
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Lake Charles, New York, Temple Sinai, Rabbi Leo, Rabbi Yossi, Jacob Adler, United States, Jewish Renewal, Kol Ami, Jacob Newman, New Haven, Rabbi Posner, Temple Shalom, Judi Gannon, Los Angeles, Yom Kippur, Annie Bass, Westchester Reform, Reform Judaism, Darla Newman, High Holidays, Jacob Ecker, Rabbi Jacobs, Rabbi Wasser, Sydney Ira Horn
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