Customer Reviews

This Affair is Over!!

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for so long , i thought i was deranged for falling in love with a man who not only never promised to leave wife, but was happy with her. then i thought i was even more deranged for beginning to have a lower self-esteem... turns out, these affairs follow a formula. you will read about your affair, and your married boyfriend in these pages, and be angered, yet greatly comforted. you will also see why you need to leave, *and* be empowered to do so. one of the things that is so good about this book is that it is very very short, and concise. i read it in an hour, underlining and making notes in the margin. the authors get right to the point and do not pull any punches! here are a few gems from this book: "[if you are going to have affair with married man] Don't expect him to be faithful (if he is having an affair with you, faithfulness is probably not in his vocabulary), don't expect him to leave his wife, and know that it will end eventually"(pg. 4) and "Your life with him, while he stays married, will always include pain"(pg. 28) and most importantly: "He is not committing to his wife, nor is he committing to you. Stop enabling him. Stop reinforcing his behavior by staying with him or taking him back after an attempt at ending the relationship. Don't be desperate for this man's love. Don't settle for the worst you can tolerate."(pg.40) well said! a very empowering book. another excellent book in the same vein, but longer and more detailed (and not "advice" oriented) is "The New Other Woman; Contemporary Single Women in Affairs With Married Men" - just as comforting. these books will get you through it.

I met the most beautiful man I had ever met - he was everything
I looked for in a man. I loved him. That was the moment I saw
him. On our first meeting he told me he was married - unhappily but married. Our romance, friendship and 'relationship' lasted 5 months. 7 months later ....... I am on my own. It turned out his love was for his wife meant more and that leaving her would be far more painful than giving up his love for me. I was under the sad illusion that I was the love he had only ever dreamed of. I waited to read this book because I knew it would tell me things I had previously not wanted to hear. For any woman who has loved a married man, this will help you move on as you will realise how far down the priority line you actually are. When reading this book, prepare to read things you don't want to read, feelings you don't want to feel and realities you don't want to face. Remember - if he loves you he will do whatever it takes to be with you and will never want to see you cry. If he lets you cry, he doesn't love you. Heal your heart and strive for true love. I have every hope that its out there. My heart goes out to all women that have loved married men. Nothing changes the love for my married man but I am on the willing yet long road to having to live without him. Best of luck in your struggle to move on......

I bought this book because it's so difficult to talk about being in an affair with a married man to my family, friends, etc. I felt so alone. But I'm not. After reading this book I realized how common the emotions I've gone through really are. It's easy reading, well-written, and full of bluntness (which I needed). I think it's also a wonderful book for men to read. This book is giving me the courage to move on with my life.

This book is full of things you don't want to read. We all think our situations are unique, our loves are special, our relationships with married men are different. Ha! This book dispels all those lies we tell ourselves to make it okay. It opened my eyes to the reality of the situation and the realization that every affair is the same. It was an eye opener and it really did help me.

As to the affair itself, my guy dumped me to work on things with the wife just as the book said they usually do. Time has passed and he has decided to leave his wife and get a divorce. We are trying to pick things up and make a relationship work. Does this make my affair different? Not really... but sometimes the outcome is different. I guess I got a guy in the 1% of men who really do leave their wives...

I wish I had known of this book BEFORE I entered into this terribly demented and devastating "relationship." Although I ended the destruction before reading the book, doing so reinforced the fact that I have done the right thing for ME, even though it was painful.

The book was an easy read, the women's stories are credible, and the statistics are sobering. I just wish the book had been more lengthy and in depth. I was sorry when it was over.

It is a "must read" for any woman already involved with a married man, or one who is contemplating entering such a liason. It will help you realize you won't win.

I never expected this book to tell me the story of my life! I decided to read this book when I had ended my two and a half year affair to give some perspective on the relationship and to strengthen me so that I would not get sucked back into the vicious cycle of breaking-up-and making-up. There are some extremely difficult truths to adhere to in this book, but if you want your life back, you need to be strong and cut your losses. The true-to-life testimonies, statistics, and psychological explanations in this book can only make you ask yourself "Is this really all I'm worth?" My answer is "NO!" and now I'm moving on.

I'm male, 25 Years old and involved in an affaire with a married woman. We love together, but I'm terribly in pain for myself. Finally I found the right book (I suggest it is for guys too...)What about some of the questions I'm sure are rumbling in your head (if you are involved in an affaire): -what if she/he will not leave the husband/wife? -what if she/he has childs and you were become a family friend? -what if she/he promise you thet she/he will newer have sexual contacts with the husband/wife and you discover she/he lies? -what if you are desperate for your life (it is terrible!!!!!) but you think you can not leave the partner? -what if you feel completly alone in this situation... Many answers in the book! Read it!

M.

For 8 months I have been trying to justify my affair with a married man. Nothing in this book surprised me, but it was a true wake up call. There are rarely (if ever) happy endings for women involved with married men. My MM does not even have children and is still not "brave enough" to leave his wife. This book is giving me the courage I need to leave him. I recommend it only if you want to see the truth. By the way, this is a very thin, easy to read book that can be read in one sitting.

This book came in the mail today and I read it from cover to cover. It's quite a short read but, has tons of useful, no nonsense information. As a result of reading this, it help me come to grips as to what my expectations are and the likeliness of them taking place in my current relationship. Everyone in the throws of an affair would like to believe that they are special and the exception. This book provides a blueprint of what is and isn't real such as how a simple sentence based on the mindset can mean very different things to the parties involved. I've read many self help affair based book and this one, with it's concise explanations and no holds barred approach, is by far one of the best out there.

I met the most beautiful man - he was everything
I looked for in a man. I loved him. That was the moment I saw
him. On our first meeting he told me he was married - unhappily but married. Our romance, friendship and 'relationship' lasted 5 months. 7 months later ....... I am on my own. It turned out his love for his wife meant more and that leaving her would be far more painful than giving up his love for me. I was under the sad illusion that I was the love he had only ever dreamed of. I waited to read this book because I knew it would tell me things I had previously not wanted to hear. For any woman who has loved a married man, this will help you move on as you will realise how far down the priority line you actually are. When reading this book, prepare to read things you don't want to read, feelings you don't want to feel and realities you don't want to face. Remember - if he loves you he will do whatever it takes to be with you and will never want to see you cry. If he lets you cry, he doesn't love you. Heal your heart and strive for true love. I have every hope that its out there. My heart goes out to all women that have loved married men. Nothing changes the love for my married man but I am on the willing yet long road to having to live without him. Best of luck in your struggle to move on......