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Guaranteed to Inspire Hysteria
on June 1, 2004
I have devoted much time to the exercises in this book and so far my life has not changed (drats!) but I have accomplished making a complete fool out of myself (which, to be honest, is no real change).
So far I watched a movie starting with an "F" (Fern Gully), imagined everyone naked (which I do not recommend because it eventually becomes rather icky), ignored a day (more difficult then it sounds), glued a spatula to my arm (strangely no one noticed), managed to lure a fly into the box but missed, tried growing another toe (no luck, yet), went on a one minute hunger strike (more difficult then it sounds), applied for a knighthood (no response, yet), imagined myself as that old man of day 362 and realized that no I am not fulfilled plus I forgot to buy a copy of that weeks TV Guide, took the psychopath test (nope, not telling the results), discovered I am not symmetrical, attempted to invent a new color but only ended up with a mucky sort of beige, spent an entire day ticking off each minute (boring yet profound), and a few other things I cannot or will not mention.
Oh! I even combined two days worth of activities by memorizing Aubrey's face and dressing like a tourist. I searched the city for her, while stopping at tourist attractions which made me recognize the need to move to someplace more exciting, but never found her. I really want to know that secret she is supposedly harboring. I feel it necessary to warn you that I truly believe the whole "Aubrey" thing may be a trick.
Oh! A really eerie thing is that an actual photo of me is in this book. Yes, really! They must have "borrowed" it from a friend's website, that is the only way they could have gotten a hold of it. I tell you, it was quite startling to see myself on one of the pages - I didn`t know whether to be flattered or not. Anyway, it gave me a great opportunity to take advantage of the suggestion for day 256 - tearing up all photos that make you look ugly - and ripped out the page for day 130. I request you do the same and forget you ever saw that picture, please. I look much better in person - I Swear!!!
All in all, I suppose I must admit I've rather enjoyed most of the stuff I've tried. I am starting to feel a bit hysterical so I guess that is a sign it's working. But is that a "good" sign? hmmm....