Customer Reviews

This Is Getting Old: Zen Thoughts on Aging with Humor and Dignity

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Susan Moon compares her 60s "Consciousness-raising group" to her current Crones Group. The first was to resist and expose sexism the second to accept and realize "This is how it is" and ask, "How can I work with it. The women even found themselves celebrating old age.
Moon says it annoys her when people say, "Even if you're old you can still be young at heart!" for it implies old is bad and young is good. Her heart-warming stories in "This is Getting Old: Zen Thoughts on Aging with Humor and Dignity" artfully demonstrate the beauty and wonder of practicing loving for a long time and being "old at heart."
She says the Japanese call impermanence and imperfection "Wabi-Sabi" where things are worn and frayed and chipped through use. Like the beauty of an earthenware tea bowl they are simple and rustic and show their age. Moon says, "I'm turning wabi-sabi. I study the back of my hand with interest: the blossoming brown spots...I'm my own research project."
To avoid self-depreciation she calls "senior moments" little coffee breaks of the brain; a stop sign on the road of life. She stays calm, lets the engine idle and enjoys the scenery. She says it could even be a leg up toward enlightenment.
Sharing stories from her life she talks about caring for an aging parent, health challenges, depression, fear, loneliness and spending a month alone in the woods.
With insight, humor and wisdom Moon helps us navigate the joys and sorrows of aging with more peace, gratitude, and grace.

A BIT DIFFERENT THAN I EXPECTED:
I guess I expected more and expected less. Susan Moon the author has written a book, about dealing with age-related issues, while also being a practicing Buddhist. Right off the bat, I would imagine, only a minority of people in the States are Buddhists, but since she has written other books on Buddhism, she may well have a following. However for the rest of us, when we consider Buddhism, we imagine, these older monks, moving gracefully into old age and gently fading away. Well the author seems to be aging just like the rest of us... Not so gracefully and with no intention of fading away.

A UNIQUE JOURNEY THAT SOME WILL RELATE TO IN PARTS:
This book is the author's personal journey, which may or may not make it relevant to the rest of us. But, in all, many issues were definitely common age-related issues: Diminished capacities, Health issues and Loneliness. We all remember the day's of contemplating "firsts". Now we are contemplating "lasts" and that is not quite as much fun.

The book weaves in and out of the author's life. She hits various milestones and points in her life and she realizes she is powerless to fight the changes.

Ironically one of her limitations affects her Buddhist practice and what I found odd, was the resistance (in her mind) to accept the necessity to change due to physical issues (not necessarily just age) within the practice. I know nothing of Buddhism, but it seemed counter to what I would expect.

A very sad part in the book on the death of her Mother captures that frustrating maddening experience of dealing with the hospitalization of an elderly loved one. Nurses and Doctors, do their best but often miss the human element of family entirely. I can see where the family was left hanging and trying to make the right choice and in some cases their input ignored. In the end, I'm sure they still wonder "What if?"

The author also captures the invisibility of aging. You would think as we baby boomers age, we would take the attention with us, but it seems turning grey is akin to transparent. She captures that well.

IN SUMMARY:
In all it was a well written book. However I felt it did not have quite the familarity that I was expecting, possibly, due to the author and my significantly different life experiences. A certain percentage of the book was devoted to issues she personally dealt with that are somewhat unique and not necessarily just with aging. However, she is a very good writer and I found the book a pleasant and informative read.

This is a very personal collection of essays about the author's progress through the inevitable realization of old age, sickness and death interspersed with occasional bits and pieces of Buddhist wisdom from a variety of great teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh, Norman Fischer, and Dogen. It may just be my personal preference but I would have preferred more of the wisdom and a lot less of her personal history even though I can relate to the way that those experiences are what caused the teachings to become real.

The author writes with a nice style - nice imagery and very relevant teachings. I just hoped to get more out of it as I make my own journey through the process of aging.

This is the first time I've read anything by Susan Moon, and I thought that the essays in this book were very well done. I think they would be enjoyed by anyone, not just people interested in Buddhism. (This is, in fact, the one drawback I see to this book - it is being marketed to a narrow audience, but it deserves a far broader readership.) I found the essays to be particularly helpful for those of us who are young but have older friends. We learn to empathize through reading about other people, but it seems that very few novels ever have aging characters. This was the first book I've read that really gave me a sense of what it is like, for instance, to have problems with memory. Or to realize that one has to give up a beloved activity, like hiking, because the knees simply can't take it anymore. Knowing about these things may help me understand my older friends better, and love them as they are more. It also helps me see what life is really like, since our popular culture focuses on eternal youth and never talks about these things, unless it is to make older people the butt of jokes. There certainly is dignity in Moon's essays.

Some essays may be helpful to any person, regardless of age, such as her ruminations on being single, and wondering if her time of intimate relationships is past. I think people of all ages have these concerns when they are single, and it is not just a problem that comes with age. We sometimes read in order to find a mirror in which to see ourselves, to know that we are not alone with our questions, and it was good to see that we are not alone when we wonder about being alone.

The subtitle of this book mentions humor, but this is not exactly a funny book. It certainly has its light moments. But one of the things that I like about Buddhism is that it recognizes suffering, without glossing it over with platitudes. It stares suffering in the face and sees it for what it is. Several of Moon's essays do that. We read, for example, about the death of her mother. It is a sad moment, and there is no reason to make it turn out to be a funny story. We empathize with the author. We feel some of her loss. This is a beautiful moment, even if there is no humor in it. Humor can sometimes help us cope with suffering, but we don't need to cover all of our suffering with laughter.

Moon has a very pleasant writing style. There are Buddhist themes in the book, but people totally unfamiliar with Buddhism can read these essays. I highly recommend this book to the old and young, and I plan to seek out more of Moon's writing after reading this.

Reading "This is Getting Old: Zen Thoughts on Aging with Humor and Dignity" was a personal treat for me since the author and i are around the same age and i also have studied Zen Buddhism for years. I enjoyed Susan Moon's honesty. She is an author who is willing to share her deepest thoughts with her reader. In her quest to examine and understand the consequences of aging on both her mind and spirit, Moon reveals an excellent sense of humor and an outstanding wit. Not everyone can reflect upon their struggle with getting older and share their feelings about coping with their decreasing abilities both physical and mental and still find humor in life's ups and downs.
The chapter that moved me the most was the one where Moon writes about her mother's car accident and her consequental death. All types of feelings come up for Moon as she watches her mother deteriorate over time in the hospital. She explains her regrets regarding her interactions with her mother when she was alive and tells the reader how she feels her mother's presence often, even in her dreams.

Readers will also be drawn into the story of author Susan Moon's struggle to overcome depression and the loneliness that accompanies being single in a world where couples dominate. Her writing style is delightful, crisp and consistently clear and the questions Susan Moon asks are spot on and would be asked by most women in their 60's, single or not. Here is an example, "If i lose my memory, will i stop being me, or is there a me beneath the memory?" One can sense Moon's desire to age with dignity and grace and her fortitude in trying to stay fit and sharp. This is a good book to have on your shelf and read more than once! It is well written, covers an important subject....aging... and is filled with wisdom. I highly suggest you consider adding it to your library and if you are a woman who is struggling to find balance in your life as you age, you will find this a delightful read. ( )

Hmmnn..."This is Getting Old" ... Zen thoughts on Aging with Humor and Dignity...

Perusing the first pages on this book on line, the authenticity of a 60 plus woman, coupled with bits of true humor and understanding, I expected a light, enjoyable, funnily self deprecating insight into the aging process.

Susan Moon delivers so much more! And you don't have to be sixtiesh to get it!

Not a help book or a guide book on aging, Susan shares in a well written style, her own life experiences, journeys, happiness, doubts, challenges etc. You are reading her life. What becomes remarkable is that we all have parallels to Susan Moon.

I liked her, laughed out loud, shook my head in understanding, was moved and held my hand to my heart as I read so many words that seemed to penned just for me. I related.

While Susan refers to the challenges of getting older, this seems to be just phrases in comparison to life and living within our own personal selves to realize happiness, contentment, and self worth.

There is an early chapter that speaks of the loss of her mother. In an intensive care unit and eventual palliative care unit before her ultimate death, I could not get over how this very sad sad time mirrored my own just a few months prior.

Friendships, family, love, loss, doubts, challenges and successes...we meet them all here, and we all have a like story to tell.

A strong message...not to dwell on the things you missed, lost, or worries for the future...do not deprive yourself of the life you are living now!

Susan's inherent goodness,resolve and efforts come to the fore in an exceptionally profound read. Remarkably, it was an easy read. Had to slow myself down because I wanted more. I know I will gift (in the strongest sense of word, Susan's word), recommend to many, will reread, and not want to share my copy for what may a very long time.

This book totally turned my attitude around about aging.I have been struggling with it and ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY! I just can't explain how it made the difference for me but I am no longer angry and am accepting about where I am at in my life journey. What a relief. In the book Ms. Moon says how people always say "well you are still young at heart".And the Author says "What is wrong with being old at heart?" Isn't that the best!!
If you have any negative attitude about aging I believe this book will be of help to you.

Ms. Moon, I feel is at times self centered and spins off into her own issues...not pertaining entirely with "getting older."
I do have the most respect for her writing and introspection and not being afraid to disclose.
What I expect was something perhaps a little more clinical, but then again its refreshing to have an author being so honest.

Well, I was interested in reading this book because it promised some humor about growing older. I did find the book mildly amusing and at times I laughed out loud. I enjoyed Susan Moon's reflections on Buddhism because I know so little about Buddhism and yet feel that there is probably much to be learned from these traditions.
Unfortunately, I also found myself wondering why I was reading the book since I did not find the author's personal fears and concerns very moving. The book is a series of thoughts, not a story, and at times it dragged.
I would recommend this specifically to readers who are interested in a Zen approach to the issue of aging. I'm sure this book will strike a chord with some readers, as it almost did with me.

Another reviewer has said that she wishes that Susan Moon lived down the street and that they could have tea and meditate together. Yes! For this 66-year-old Buddhist woman, Moon's book is a blessing, from the title that made me giggle to the profound final chapters, 'Alone With Everyone' and 'This Vast Life'. She begins the book with the statement that 'Now is a good time to investigate the matter [of being old] and to develop courage.' And she proceeds to do that.

Moon doesn't flinch from the physical or the psychological aspects of aging. Her contemplations, arranged in essay-like chapters, include memory loss, her father's blindness and her own detached retina, her mother's death, the transition from meditating-while-sitting-on-the-floor-on-a-cushion to sitting in a chair (a big one for some of us), unsteadiness and falling due to age, the loss of her husband, her single life, depression (many helpful thoughts here), 'What If I Never Have Sex Again', and becoming 'invisible' to younger people. But they also include the joys of having grandchildren, of going back to the tomboy nature of her childhood, her single life (joyful as well as painful), lightening her life of material possessions, and the wisdom that she has gathered over the years (which she doesn't mention, but it's there).

Here's some of the flavor of her memoir: She tells a story of visiting her mother in a retirement community and meeting a group of her mother's women friends. Betty says to her, 'I hear you were just on a long Zen meditation retreat. Did it make you calm?' Moon answers, 'You're not supposed to try to accomplish anything at all, not even calmness.....The idea is to...let go of your attachments.' Betty says, 'Well, I can see that I don't need Zen meditation. Getting old forces you to let go of one damn thing after another!' Exactly.

I am feeling very attached to This Is Getting Old. It's entertaining, touching, and even enlightening. I think that I'll send this book to my 62-year-old sister.