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This is How Love Works: 9 Essential Secrets You Need to Know
 
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This is How Love Works: 9 Essential Secrets You Need to Know [Paperback]

Steven Carter (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 4, 2002
Perhaps love itself will always be a mystery. Why a relationship works or doesn't work, however, is not a total mystery. It is only a challenge that you can easily meet if you have the tools, starting with awareness as the key.

Frequently Bought Together

This is How Love Works: 9 Essential Secrets You Need to Know + Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love) + He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships
Price For All Three: $32.94

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Prepare to sweat the small stuff--well, only if you want a loving, lasting partnership, that is. While Steven Carter admits that this and his other eight "secrets" to fostering successful relationships aren't all that surprising, he clearly illustrates how often couples neglect these essential elements in this excellent guide to making love work. Through numerous couple scenarios that sound sadly familiar ("Carla and Bryan moved in together one year ago, and ever since then they have been playing 'the thermostat game'"), Carter paints a vivid picture of relationships on the rocks. In chapters including "Make 'We' a Priority," "Take off the Masks," and "Fight Stereotypes," he reveals why partners fall into such destructive behaviors so darn easily; then he methodically shows how to reverse these behaviors to become a more authentic, team-spirited partner. Inspiring anecdotes about successful couples and their hard-won paths to richer relationships offer tangible steps for preventing and repairing relationship damage. Without any annoying psychobabble (no "dysfunctional" or "breakdown in communication" talk here), nor any clinical documentation, Carter simply questions, observes, and concludes--then shares his findings and offers very sensible suggestions. Perhaps his lack of any fancy psychology or sociology degree gives him that "man on the street" believability. Perhaps his 20 years of analyzing relationships has something to do with the weight of his words. Whatever the case, it's easy to understand why many of Carter's previous bestsellers, including Men Who Can't Love and What Smart Women Know, command such appeal. --Liane Thomas --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Steven Carter lives in Los Angles, California.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: M.Evans & Company (September 4, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0871319942
  • ISBN-13: 978-0871319944
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.8 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #395,769 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Steven A. Carter (born October 23, 1959) is an American author of non-fiction, self-help and humor.

A distinguished graduate of Cornell University, member of the Quill and Dagger society, past president of the Ho Nun De Kah honorary, and winner of the William K. Kennedy Dean's Prize for extraordinary academic achievement, Steven A. Carter also holds a Master's Degree in Education and a Master's Degree in Psychology.

Steven Carter was born in New York City and raised in New Hyde Park, New York. He is the author of twenty-two books, including the New York Times bestseller Men Who Can't Love (with co-author Julia Sokol) and seven other National Bestsellers. Carter coined the phrase "Commitmentphobia" in 1987. He and Sokol are recognized as two of the foremost authorities on the subjects of commitment, fear of commitment, attachment disorders, and narcissistic personality disorder.

In the winter of 2007 What Smart Women Know was released in Brazil by Editora Sextante, the publishing company founded by brothers Marcos and Tomas Pereira. What Smart Women Know spent 110 weeks on Brazil's top-ten bestseller lists, at one point being the #2 selling book in all of Brazil. Men Like Women Who Like Themselves was released in mid-2008 and spent 45 weeks on Brazil's bestseller lists. The Brazilian edition of Men Who Can't Love was released by Editora Sextante in late 2009, followed by The Secrets of Self-Esteem in May 2010 and This Is How Love Works in September 2011. Editora Sextante has sold over two million copies of these Carter/Sokol titles in Brazil since the first release. Editora Sextante is most well known in Brazil for their books by the Dalai Lama, Augusto Cury, and, most recently, Paulo Coehlo.

Prior to beginning his career as an author, Steven Carter was the Director of Tennis at the world-renowned Little Dix Bay Hotel in Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands and Head Tennis Pro at the Dorado Beach Hotel in Dorado Beach, Puerto Rico. It has been suggested that some of his Carter's early insights into relationships were formulated during those years. He has also written extensively about the stages of healing he experienced through almost twenty years of his own deeply personal work.

Steven Carter is the resident Relationship Expert at the popular health site Power-Surge.com

 

Customer Reviews

3 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
5.0 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A relationship book that I would actually recommend, October 20, 2003
By 
Peter Pullar (Richmond, Victoria Australia) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I found "THIS IS HOW LOVE WORKS" by Steven Carter to be much better than its cover indicated to me. I glanced at the cover and thought "another how to book with all the supposed answers, and took a quick look at the text inside the book. Instead of finding the usual prescriptions there, I felt excited as I found a challenging journey which encourages me to be myself at the same time as creating relationship with my partner.
While the chapters seemed to end abruptly in stead of flowing from one to the next, each chapter left me left me feeling supported in creating relationship in a workable way - the way both me and my partner want. In stead of being prescriptive (apart from a few basic ground rules), it creates for me an opportunity to create with my partner a greater freedom and intimacy for both of us.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be required reading for all partnerships, young and old!, February 12, 2010
By 
JJ Schultz (Somewhere over the rainbow) - See all my reviews
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I wish this book would have been written fifty years ago, it has easy-to-read, real-life situational examples and guidelines for partnerships. It surely would have made an enormous impact on my parents' marriage.

Not only will this book identify what you do right, it will make you aware of the unconscious behaviors that can pull partnerships apart.

I've recommended this book to several couples who were experiencing a "separateness", or found themselves growing apart. After reading it, they give it credit for saving their relationships and allowing them to recognize the unhealthy symptoms that pushed them apart.

Considering you can buy this book (used) for under $1, it will be the best money you ever spent if you are looking for answers on how love really works.

Buy this book, you will not regret it.
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The basics: Pure and simple, January 18, 2009
By 
Susan K. (Sebastopol, California, USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: This is How Love Works: 9 Essential Secrets You Need to Know (Paperback)
This book tells you what love truly is about. It's a perfect engagement gift.
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