If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure? [Mass Market Paperback]

Carl G. Hindy (Author), J. Conrad Schwarz (Author), Archie Brodsky (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 1990

It doesn't have to hurt to be in love, yet for many otherwisde accomplished and confident people, romantic involvement means anxiety, insecurity, and pain. This provocative and authoritative sourcebook, filled with true-life stories and dramatic case histories, will set every reader on a path of greater self-understanding -- and increase the possibilities of finding an enduring love.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

New Hampshire psychologist Hindy, Schwarz, professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut, and Brodsky, coauthor of Love and Addiction , here present the impressive results of a research project on insubstantial relationships. Charts and questionnaires accompany stories of people whose marriages and/or romantic affairs fail, predictably and consistently. Case histories gleaned from the 1700 participants in the study dramatize situations that reveal how even accomplished men and women lose partners through self-defeating behavior. There are examples of anxious lovers exhibiting servility or belligerence, jealousy and possessiveness, etc., emotional flaws rooted, according to the authors, in childhood. Readers suffering from fears of rejection will find numerous parallels to their own experiences in the depictions of ways people drive away those they love. 50,000 first printing; $50,000 ad/promo; author tour.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Basing their discussion on the results of tests taken by 1750 people as well as on numerous studies and interviews, the authors focus on what they call anxious romantic attachment or insecure love. In contrast to stable relationships, such attachments exhibit excessive anxiety, jealousy, detachment, and depression. To discover why some people are prone to these attachments and how they can help themselves, the authors offer tests, real-life examples, and concrete advice. Parents will find important chapters on how they affect the love relationships of their children's adult life. Challenging, informative, and helpful, this book is highly recommended.
- John Moryl, Yeshiva Univ. Lib., New York
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 416 pages
• Publisher: Fawcett; 1st Ballantine Books Ed edition (July 1, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449218597
• ISBN-13: 978-0449218594
• Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 1.1 x 6.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #27,749 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #6 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Happiness
  • #10 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Self-Esteem
  • #12 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Unbelievably enlightening, February 13, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure? (Mass Market Paperback)

I purchased this book at a bookstore just a few days ago because I am suffering disproportionately over a relationship that ended almost as long ago as the relationship itself lasted. Through this book, I've discovered that I am a textbook case of a woman grappling with both romantic anxiety AND romantic obsession. I always knew something wasn't "right" with me, but this book (and I've read countless self-help books and received glimmers of truth) really nailed it on the head, outlining how my upbringing (a distant, passive, uninvolved, and angry father and a lenient mother who drew all of us kids into coalition with her) created a deep-seated inability to connect with the opposite sex in a healthy way. Sadly, I discovered this book 24 hours AFTER exploding at the man with whom I was attached, thereby eliminating the possibility of even cordiality. I realize now that it had FAR more to do with me than him, and, of course, I regret so many things. An amazing book, albeit extremely painful to read. My main complaint with the book is that, while it does a SUPERB job at identifying your insecurity and its origins, you're left asking yourself, "OK, now I know what's wrong with me. What do I do now?" All you're given is one small chapter. I would recommend to the authors that they develop exercises for people suffering from this debilitating and intimacy-stealing condition -- perhaps a workbook. Luckily, I have a therapist who can help me, but most people don't have that luxury. I HIGHLY recommend this book!

35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book was eye-opening., February 10, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure? (Mass Market Paperback)

I knew I was controlling in relationships but I didn't know why. This book answered a lot of questions for me. It makes you see how annoying some of your behaviors can be. You will identify with some of the characters. You will realize how you push people away by acting insecure. It really helped me ease off on people and not need to be the boss anymore.

45 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my life!, May 29, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure? (Mass Market Paperback)

If your love life is plagued by insecurity and jealousy and too much overall emotional drama, please do yourself a favor and read this book. Read it with a hilighter in hand and mark all the parts that really hit home with your particular situation. Then go back and read all the parts you hilighted. If you apply what you learn in doing this, you will be a thousand times happier than you are right now and be able to find the love you have been looking for.
I was addicted to self-help books, but since reading this one, I haven't read another one. Haven't needed to. I can't recommend it highly enough. Good luck!