Customer Reviews

This Is My Daughter: A Novel

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(3)

 

 

When you finish Roxana Robinson's brilliant novel you're likely to have its brilliantly drawn characters take curtain calls in your head. And taking the last bow is certain to be Amanda Chatfield, 15-year-old dark child of divorce. Forced to spend a hideous summer vacation away from the indifferent administrations of her social climbing mother Caroline in the legal custody of her ineffectual father Peter, but actually under the rule of her stepmother Emma (the Jane Austen reference cannot be unintentional), who favors her own 11-year-old sunny child, Tess, the sullen Amanda rebels in the most hideous, if expectable, ways.

And yet in this unsparing book, which evokes Salinger and Wharton as much as Austen, with its multiple points of view and its tense changes, with its brilliant evocations of New York locales, especially its interiors, you'll end up rooting for Amanda. There isn't much choice: Caroline's selfishness is over the top, Peter stumbles and bumbles along, making big issues out of tennis lessons, while the doormatty Emma, who can't even get Tess's live-in nanny to address her properly, compensates for her personal ineffectiveness by creating petty rules that she expects Amanda to adhere to, and who of course does not.

Robinson writes brilliantly: her prose is sharp, unsparing, and to the point. Her characters are well drawn. Unlike most of us, who as grownups look back on our schooldays in a golden haze of nostalgia, Robinson hasn't forgotten the hellishness of adolescence (for Amanda school is something simply to be waited out), and she shows what happens to adults who have forgotten. It's a great novel.

I have never read such a subtle and insightful book about divorce and remarriage. Ms. Robinson has carefully and realistically described the almost upper class Park Avenue New Yorkers who, though well educated and savvy, make the ordinary mistakes we all make when relationships go awry. What makes this novel so special is the author's shifting of perspective, so that by the time the book ends you have had insight into different characters and their view of the divorce/remarriage. What a heartbreaking scene when Peter, in an effort to be kind, takes his ex-wife out to dinner (to Lutece!) to tell her he is getting married again. His wife, who had been fairly unsympathetic until then, is mistakenly sweet and flirtatious, and is then stunned into a shocking public display of tears! And the confused and resentful behavior of the daughters is all too realistic.

I grew attached to all of these flawed characters, including the sullen teenager and her stepmother, who couldn't help but show favoritism. Roxana Robinson knows her New York milieu and understands blended families well. Read this book! And if you are in a Book Club this would be a great choice, with lots to discuss.

I waited a couple of weeks after reading this book to write the review. My opinion was changing daily and I decided that I needed to fully digest it before I could discuss it. In some ways, this book is so different from my own life and in some ways mirrors it too closely.

The book follows the journey of a couple, Peter and Emma, as they try to make a "family" when no one else seems to want it. The exes are hostile to say the least. Reading passages about how Peter's ex-wife acted reminded me of posts on the second wives club website. In addition, his daughter was truly PAS'd and harbored enough anger and resentment for three children. Though Emma's ex-husband was also difficult, he faded in and out of the picture, like many ex-husbands do.

I realized partially through the book that this couple really doesn't communicate, doesn't understand each other, and really isn't happy. When a tragedy threatens the relationship, I had a hard time understanding how they had stayed together as long as they did. Then I realized something very important...the entire book could be excerpts from the website. I am so blessed to be in a great relationship with a wonderful stepson. My big issue is the ex-wife. Many of those who are second wives are not nearly as lucky. Many have problems with almost every facet of their lives. The feeling must be overwhelming, like it was to Peter and Emma.

Though I couldn't directly relate to the book, I couldn't put it down (just like I can't log off sometimes). It was the "can't stop looking at the car accident" syndrome. If nothing else, it might make second wives feel like they are not alone. They can see how these fictional characters made choices, good or bad, and then had to live with them.

I would definitely take a chance on this book. It's a quick read and you can probably finish it in a few sessions. The only thing I really didn't like was the detail that the author would sometimes inject in the middle of an important part of the book. I could not care less what the trees and buildings looked like, I wanted to see what happened in the relationship. Luckily, she didn't do that too often and I could go back to watching Peter and Emma struggle through their days.

MommyQ - SWC.COM Member

It's really necessary to read this book more than once. The author has created great depth of character, and every personality is well-developed. It's true that the characters are not "nice" or particularly likable, but they are endlessly interesting and realistic. I can't believe this whole story came out of the author's imagination; she must have known some of these people. Roxana Robinson is really a phenomenal talent and I agree with one of the other reviewers that this would be a good book for a discussion group.

Amanda isn't spoiled. Her parents are indifferent, not indulgent. Amanda does whatever she wants because no one bothers to find out what she's doing. Peter leaves the marriage and his daughter for purely selfish reasons, resulting in a drastic lifestyle change for Amanda and her mother, which he doesn't seem to notice. He wants Amanda's presence every weekend, but he spends no time getting to know her, finding out what she likes, what she thinks, how she feels about the divorce or anything else. He lets Emma have all the responsibility for her. Caroline was dealt a bad hand, but she proceeds to drown in self-pity and pays no attention to her daughter. It's easy to see she is thinking only of herself when she brings men home for one-night stands in the bedroom next to Amanda's. Caroline does nothing to help herself or her daughter to move forward.

It is Tess who is the child from hell, who is really spoiled. At the age of three she is already a master of manipulation. If she remotely senses things may not go exactly the way she wants them to she has spectacular tantrums, sometimes several within the hour, crying, screaming, throwing herself on the floor, banging her head on the furniture. She ends up having Emma apologize to her! If she isn't the center of attention, she interrupts adults and shouts over other people's words. At one point she yells at her nanny for not looking at her when she wants to say something. She doesn't outgrow this, either. At the age of twelve she crawls into bed for the night with her mother and stepfather because she has a nightmare or is afraid of the dark. This is really inappropriate behavior, as Peter says to Emma. Emma refuses to listen to him. She always behaves as though Tess can do no wrong.

Emma is trying to be the perfect mother, but she doesn't succeed. Several characters tell her she is rigid and intolerant, and it's true. She has rules for the kids that border on the ridiculous. They aren't allowed to chew gum. Amanda, at 15, isn't allowed to have a cup of coffee. The kids are never allowed to watch any television. It would be reasonable to set a limit on the time they spend watching, or to say they couldn't watch certain programs, but Emma takes it to an unbelievable extreme. Meanwhile, Amanda is doing drugs all summer and Emma doesn't have a clue. Emma really has trouble getting along with everyone, including her parents, her sister, her co-worker, her ex-husband, and even Peter.

Although the book does end on a hopeful note, here are my predictions for five years later:

1. Emma and Peter get a divorce.
2. Amanda goes off to college, has little or nothing more to do with Caroline, and less to do with Peter than he would like. I think he is going to realize it's too late.
3. Caroline continues her downward spiral unless she is able to leave New York and move back to where her family is.
4. Tess may grow up and grow away from her mother. Emma may try to live vicariously through Tess.

I could go on and on, but dont want to give the story away. It's one of the best books I've read, period. I'll want to see more of this author's work.

This was a powerful book with a serious message about the horrors of divorce, especially for children. The book delivers a profound message without being preachy. The characters thoughts are described so lucidly, I feel like I know them personally. This story really rings true.

This book passed my ultimate test: it kept me up at night, turning the pages. I was involved with the characters, even though I didn't necessarily like them. I was especially impressed with Robinson's portrayal of the girls: it IS how kids act. My main criticisms are: 1) the adults seemed too shallow given their level of education, and 2) the ending, for me, was too hopeful; it didn't match the tone of the rest of the book. But overall, well done.

I thought this was an especially terrific book because it's topic, blended families, is so common to our 90's culture. I thought the best part about the book is that EVERY character had flaws. Tess' mother, whose point of view was the most represented in the story, was not perfect. She made mistakes. And Peter, the husband, was not "the knight in shining armor". He was a good man, but had faults, as well. This story showed family life, warts and all. Additionally, Ms Robinson did a good job in narrative, by subtly building up suspense for an impending tragedy. Great book!

First I want to say that Roxana Robinson is a wonderful writer. Her descriptions (though lengthy) of a thought, a look, a feeling detail every true aspect of that experience. She knows how to grab what you feel and put it in words. I wish I could write! The storyline paralleled my life. I came into a marriage (with my eyes open, so I thought) with two stepchildren, after a messy divorce where I was a key blaming figure. My stepdaughter is Amanda - described perfectly. I felt all those years of trying to 'connect' all over again. Painful, but survivable. We are now friends, albiet not close buddies. Roxana described a divorce/blended family situation so accurately. It ended so promisingly hopeful, just as it should. When love is strong, anything can be overcome! I highly recommend this book!

A promising story that fails miserably.

Where do loyalties lie when a man and woman bring children to a new marriage? According to this story, the woman loves her daughter and expects her new husband to do the same. But she also expects him to keep his life with his daughter seperate from theirs.

Peter's daughter, Amanda, is deeply affected by her parents' divorce. She despises both her mother and father and resents her new step-mother, Emma. But resentment barely describes her feelings for Emma's daughter, Tess, who now lives full-time with Amanda's father.

For her part, Emma makes attempts to bring Amanda in to the family circle, but they are attempts on her terms. For example, she decorates a room for Amanda, but it's decorated to Emma's tastes.

The main failing of this book is the weak characters. I know nothing of what brought Peter and Emma together. Why did they feel a second marriage could work? Why did they feel their children would adjust and they could build a happy life together?

I also found the writing weak. Each time a character was introduced, it was a programmed description of height, hair, clothes, etc. "Emma's mother, Aline, was also tall, but slightly stooped...Her eyes were blue, her cheeks full and pink. She had a small bow-shaped mouth and fine light straying hair. They [Emma's parents] were in their mid-sixties; both wore khaki pants, blue sneakers, sweaters." Boring!

None of the characters in this insightful novel of divorce and remarriage are likable. (Even small Tess is a bit of a simp.) Robinson has created a story where every character is selfish, myopic, and unsympathetic. Yes, human.

Yet through these flawed characters, Robinson paints a disturbing and very accurate picture of the ravages of divorce, remarriage, step children, blended families and in-laws. Through her adept prose we navigate amid the tangle of recrimination, fault finding, self justification, betrayal, malice, and irony: divorce in today's society.

This is a sobering book. The ending is too pat, too unlikely; but it is the only false step in an otherwise absorbing novel.