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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Read this book and share it, October 6, 2009
This review is from: This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today (Mass Market Paperback)
We've all read the books and articles that tell us that mothers can have it all - the perfect baby, perfect marriage, flexible job, etc...but what happened when you found out everything wasn't perfect? That new reality was difficult for me. The worst part was that I thought I was the only one that felt confused and out of place. In Kristin Maschka's book she takes on the issues that mothers and families face (and usually don't talk about) in a way that is smart, funny and personal. Some of the chapters include:
- The mother of all to-do lists - or why didn't anyone tell me how hard this is?
- Oxygen masks - or why am I at the bottom of my own lists?
- Identity whiplash - or who am I now?
- I'm a square peg - or why doesn't my job fit anymore?
- That sinking feeling - or why do I feel financially vulnerable?
And many more intriguing topics...
Not only does she raise these issues and encourage us to challenge our assumptions about them, she also provides straightforward tools and resources to help us make changes that can impact our own lives and families, the lives of other mothers and society.
This is a book that every mother should read, share and talk about with family and friends.
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Remodeled Mother, October 14, 2009
This review is from: This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today (Mass Market Paperback)
Like Kristin Maschka, I thought I had a pretty modern view on motherhood and family, but sometimes things just didn't feel right. How come I was the one who just knew everything about our child and the household? From knowing when our daughter needed her next appointment with the pediatrician to tackling mountains of laundry and other household chores, I couldn't understand why I had all those family responsibilities... while sharing pretty equally in the breadwinnning too.
Then I read Remodeling Motherhood and it all became clear. Maschka calls out some of those "mental maps" that are hiding behind our every thought and action. I thought I believed that my husband and I should share the family work equally since we are both employed, but I realized that I held a subconscious belief that "mothers are naturally better at caring for children" just as Maschka writes about through her own experience. That hidden belief was causing me to knock myself out, trying to handle more than my fair share of the work at home. But the truth is that dads and partners can be equally good at raising their kids, and should be given the chance to try.
Life since reading this book has changed for the better. In a "remodeled" moment one Saturday morning, our young child needed bath, but I also had another very important obligation to tend to. As I was trying to give my child a speed-bath, I realized that I believed that as the mother, I should be the one to give all the baths. Garbage. My husband could do it. I called him to take over, while I did what I needed to do. You know what? He did a great job.
We haven't looked back since.
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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Motherhood Reality Check, October 15, 2009
This review is from: This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today (Mass Market Paperback)
Finally, a realistic take on the challenges and rewards and frustrations of
motherhood....this book will be especially helpful to new and 'newish' mothers
who might find the reality of motherhood doesn't quite fit their naive
expectations. This book will have real moments of recognition for them and
incredibly helpful support, so they will know they are not alone and that most
young mothers face similar challenges. This book is to be read and shared and
can be an important and useful point of discussion among mothers who were
afraid to share their true feelings and frustrations because of their fear
of being perceived as 'bad' mothers....The book makes clear the struggles
of parenting are hugely worthwhile and we can all get through the ups and
downs with some humor, support and practical tips. There are lots of funny
anecdotes plus an amazing amount of research. A must read for all
young mothers!
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