Customer Reviews

This Is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down

5 star:		(31)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Destiny threw four women together more than a decade ago who started a monthly Kitchen Table Friends. They created a place every woman needs: where she can say the unsayable about her life and those in it.

These women are successful in their own right, so I'll introduce them here with just a sampling of their many accomplishments:

* Deborah Collins Stephens is an author (3 bestsellers).
* Jackie Speier is a lawyer, California State Senator and Jonestown shooting victim.
* Michealine Cristin Risley is an award-winning documentary producer.
* Jan Yanehiro hosts Appraise It! on HGTV and has won three Emmys.

Reading this list might indicate that these successful women "have it all." Not true. They've been divorced, widowed, left without money or a home, fired, lost elections, etc. etc. Marlene Dietrich famously said, "It is the friends you call at 4 o'clock in the morning that really matter." And that's what these women are for each other.

When they were asked to speak about their Kitchen Table Friends concept to a group of professional women--400 packed the room.

The sections show the 50 ways (subtitle), and have wonderful quotes by women. My favorites are:
1. Gratitude (finding it even in the worst of days, like "at least the ...).

2. Saying "how" instead of "why"--as in "how" can I use this
experience--"how" denoting future, and "why" dwells on the past.

3. Facing your fears. Discouragement has courage at its root--and courage has the French word for heart as its root.

An overused word today, but I thought this book was AWESOME. This is a read-every-word, think-about-it-a-while, call-a-girlfriend-to-talk-about-it book. It is both powerful and meaningful. It is filled with humor, hope, handholding and the humanity only women can show to each other.

Recently I received a book to review where the women called each other the B word (I said no). Women of any age should NOT be doing that to each other!

Armchair Interviews says: This is a 10-star book that women will tell friends about and buy as gifts because it is empowering and gives hope.

This book fairly reeks with positivity. But I mean that in a positive way. This good-hearted book was both inspiring and comforting at the same time. In a way it reminded me of Elly, the character in my favorite comic strip "For Better or For Worse." I just see myself in Elly all the time. In this book, it is the same. You feel the compassionate connectedness of like-minded people just reaching a hand out to you from across the pages of the book. As you see how they handled their difficulties you feel elevated as a fellow human being right along with them. This book is also about the healing power of honesty. It reminds you that the very thing that you might be tempted to hide out of some feeling of shame is the very thing that immediately opens up the hearts of those around you. I'm a board-certified cognitive behavioral therapist who teaches people to re-wire their brains to get out of depression. People mistakenly think they are depressed because of their problems but, in fact, they are always depressed because of their depression. Of course, once depression is taken care of the problems still remain and this book is a huge support for seeing problems in a more positive light. Bravo! A. B. Curtiss, author of BRAINSWITCH OUT OF DEPRESSION.

Once I started this book I could not put it down. I was at a family gathering and all my sisters started reading it too. In todays society we can fool ourselves into thinking we are in control. This book reminds us we are not and that it is okay. When life throws a curve ball we CAN rebound. I highly recommend this book

I have never read a book of this nature cover to cover. They never hold my attention. They are too sappy, or don't apply to me. After receiving a copy of this book from a friend, I thought the same. I thought, I've read all this before. What are these ladies going to tell me that I don't already know? I've had a tough time. I've scraped myself up off the sidewalk. What could these ladies say? And yet, I couldn't put it down. Each story drew me further in until I was hooked - hooked by the friendship, hooked by the recovery, bravery, and determination. It made me look at the friendships I have differently, realizing who has been there for me - who I can count on, and who I can listen to, and who I shouldn't. It made me reexamine some of my goals, and open up the door to past dreams I thought too childish to pursue. Who knows if anything will come of my dreams, but I'm sure having fun now living a life where my dreams aren't silly, where my thoughts are important, and I am a worth while person. Thank you, ladies. May your lives now stop teaching you such difficult lessons, unless you are thinking of writing a sequel.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and have bought it as a gift for several friends. It tells of the challenging life stories of 4 women who found each other and found that they shared some common challenges, and became friends (and co-writers). The fascinating read part includes the story of a woman who,while visting Jonestown, Guyana, as part of the official investigating party, was shot and left for dead. She tells of her promise to herself that if she survived, she would never shrink away from any important battle. (as a State Senator, she was known for standing up for the "common person", challenging the special interests that most legislators shied away from). All the women share their stories of becoming widows, losing a pregnancy or facing life threatening illnesses of a family member. But it's not the stories that are important, but rather what they made of their lives after the challenge(s) they faced. And, without being preachy, their share their insights in a very practical way that you can apply to the challenges of your life. A good read; you feel like the women are sitting down to have coffee with you and chatting like your best girlfriend. Highly recommended.

I found the book to be both reassuring and powerful. It is reassuring to hear the stories of issues that women everywhere face but do not always discuss, such as financial woes, death, marital issues and infidelity. And it is powerful to see the bonds of friendship that women can have and how these bonds can help us overcome the difficult unexpected and unwanted issues that arise in our lives. Plus the book also provides tips and practical advise on how to get the support and structure needed to get through the events in your own life that are not the 'ones your ordered'.

Very good information and uplifting stories for women. Especially enjoyed the quotes from famous women sprinkled throughout the book.

I bought this book because I was going through some difficulties in my life, and I was hoping for inspiration. This book is inspiration in spades! These women have all not only endured hardships, but they have used the lessons in the trials of their lives to empower themselves beyond expectation. Where ordinary people might allow themselevs to wallow in self-pity, what I gained from these women is an acceptance that sometimes life is hard, very hard, and those who choose to can not only overcome, but achieve greatness. Reading this book made me re-evaluate the issues I am dealing with, to see them not as obstacles, but as challenges to greatness. A whole different perspective.

Timely for me. The stories let me know that I have company.
Now to form that kitchen table group.

This book was great- I'm inspired and excited for what's to come in my future because of it! At 22, I haven't yet been challenged in the ways that these women have. However, I've learned from their stories and experiences that if you push on positively and surround yourself with women who are on your side, you can overcome and do anything! I'm definitely recommending this book to all of my friends!