Customer Reviews

In This Together: The Journey of a Mother and Child

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Dawn walks the reader through the pregnancy, birth and life of her son Jacob. We are caught up in a medical tragedy unfolding and the effects it has on Jacob, Dawn and the entire family. Dawn tells it like it is with anger, humor and incredible strength. I highly recommend this book for parents,doctors,nurses,medical students.

until it had been read in it's entirety. This book is absolutely fantastic. It is a "real" look into the every day lives that so many of us are living. I am glad that it is out there for people to read and learn from. So many people do not understand what living with a disabled child is like. Dawn puts it out there just as it is. Great Job Dawn!!!!!

If you believe in miracles, do yourself a favor and read this book. Despite it being 296 pages, I found myself unable to put it down...a literal "page turner". I read the whole thing in two consecutive afternoons. The unbelievably true and inspiring story of Jake's survival and Dawn's perseverance against the "system" will have you rooting for them all the way through the book. You don't need to be a parent to appreciate this journey, but those of you who are (including those with special needs children) will find this an inspirational guide from someone who's lived it first hand. Highly recommended!

Generally, I feel that everyone is entitled to their opinions and because of that, I sat on this for a long time before I decided I needed to respond. I am certainly not going to berate "a reader" for her negative comments when it comes to the book, but there is one thing that she says that bothers me above all others. When she said "...most of the families have at least something positive to say about their child...." How could I not take that personally. So here goes...

First, the book she received was a "Review" copy from the publisher, therefore not meant to be "pristine". Secondly, I have to wonder if she actually read the entire book. If she had she would have read the letter to my son in the final chapter expressing how much of a gift I feel he is and how much I have learned from him and about myself as a result of the tradegy of his birth. Thirdly, she feels that I didn't have anything nice to say about some of the people I met as a result. Clearly she skipped the part in the book and in the acknowledgment page where I have expressed my deepest gratitude to my son's pediatrician, Dr. Hagan and his physiatrist, Dr. Webster as well as some other people I've met along the way.

Lastly, I think I should express exactly why I wrote this book and why I chose to write it the way that I did. When my son was born I searched high and low for a book that would help me feel like I wasn't alone in the world. I needed to have some connection to another parent who had been through what I was going through. Fortunately, I have a lot of wonderful books in my personal library. Unfortunately, there is not one that I fully connected with. A large majority of books available on special needs children do not reflect the needs of parents whose child has multiple challenges. I know that parents need that connection and that's why I wrote "In This Together".

As to why I wrote it the way I did, it's because I didn't want to sugar-coat anything. I was blatantly honest about what I was going through and how I felt about it because to be otherwise would be less than respectful to the parents and professionals who would read it. Furthermore, I wanted to take a "show don't tell" approach. It is easy enough to say to a parent, "Yes it does get better. Yes it will get easier" or if I said something like "I didn't think I could physically survive this profound sadness, but hey, by the time my son was five years old I was feeling okay about life". The harder part was showing how to get from total heart-break to a place in life where you can say "I'm alright.Life is good". And I think I achieved that by using my experience as an example.

Parents know when you're not telling the whole truth. To give them less then the absolute truth would be a disservice. Sometimes parents need to see that it's okay to be angry. And some of the things I said in the book are things that some parents think about but are too afraid to say. By me saying it, it sort of validate how they feel.

As far as "a readers" comment about the book's negativity and her feeling like I don't offer any joyous moments and that I'm basically telling parent's that it's one struggle after another, let me just say that while Murphy's Law did seem to prevail in our lives for a time, the reality is that there were a lot of struggles, some of them monumental and other trivial...but that's the reality, I didn't make it up.

That said, let me direct you "reader" to page 219 when I was summing up the things our family has been through... "We are no longer fragmented people who are bound only by the same last name. We are finally whole, each of us individually, and as a family. We have discovered that the simpler joys in life often mean the most. We have learned that we are adaptable people, because there are days, depending on what's going on with Jake, that we have to quickly reprioritize everything. But we take a deep breath and dig in. We are like the branches of a willow tree...we will bend but not break."

When it comes to the blessings I can count because of my son, let me direct you to page 241 and 242 where I express all the things I've learned about my son, myself, and life in general. It wasn't until after my son was born that I came to believe that we are all here on this earth either to learn something or to teach something and, at least in this lifetime, my son is the teacher and I am the pupil. And though "I may not have the most money or the biggest house, no retirement fund or a way to send my daughter to college when she grows up, I am rich nonetheless for having had the privilege of being a student to such a Master".

To my one and only critic, I hope you will take the time to go back and read the whole book and I invite you (and anyone else) to share your thoughts with me through my website, www.dawnatkinson.net.

To the rest of you, I just want you to know that this book is for you and if I've been able to help in some small way, then it is me who is blessed because of it.

Dawn Atkinson

The story of Dawn Atkinson is one of the joy of expecting a child and the heartbreak that can be when there is ignorance and arrogance. Ignorance by both a young first time pregnant mom and by a new inexperienced ob/gyn. And arrogance of doctor with no regard for the baby coming into this world, they are not made of rubber and don't always bounce back! As first time moms we tend to trust in our doctors. We may read books like "What to Expect when your Expecting" or even other informational articles in "Parents Magazine" but there isn't a lot of information out there about delivery. We tend to trust the person who is suppose to be the expert and hope for the best. After all babies are born every day in the United States without any complications or problems and all our friends and relatives went through it just fine right? This book not only is about the journey between mother and child but is something every pregnant women should read about and discuss with her ob/gyn before delivery and have a plan. How long will they let labor go on before doing a Cessarian section?, When do they use vacuum extraction?, What is the protocol?, Why do they induce labor? Should labor ever be induced early without a clear indication that there is medical danger to the baby or mom?.
This books is very helpful to both the expectant mom as well as a comfort to the mom who has gone through and is living her own story of loss of "normal" birth and motherhood. Sometimes too much information can be a good thing. We need to educate woman about the dangers of labor as well as the joys. We need to give control to the patient. Let them decide enough is enough and let them be the judge of when something feels wrong.
This book also belongs in college libraries. Especially colleges that specialize in nursing, education and pre-med. Anybody who will come in contact with or may come in contact with the kind of very special family Dawn Atkinson has should know the ins and outs, the nuts and bolts of what their everyday is like. It will make us all more compasionate and understanding. It will also teach us to have more respect for the one who knows the most about the affected child...THE MOM!

Dawn's incredible Journey with Jake is and ever changing challenge. She is a wonderful mother who advocates for her child as only a mom can. This book only gives you a sample of what it is to have a child with severe disabilities and the challenges that a parent faces.

I have read and reread this book. I would advise everyone to read this. You will get a broader understanding of what it is to be the parent of a special needs child and why (being a parent of a special needs child myself) we choose to continue from day one. You can never fully understand what steps are taken day to day, or how you develope as a person. Once you read this book you will. The insight you gain from reading this book can not be found anywhere else. Having read this book has made me understand one thing above all, that I am not alone in my journey. Please take the time to read this book to understand the growing world of special needs.

This book was a fantastic read for any parent of a special needs child. However, I also believe that teachers, doctors and ministers would also benefit from reading this mother's view of the journey with her son.

Not too many times have I picked up a book and not put it down. This book was an easy read, and the author was easy to relate to.

Anyone who believes that things happen for reasons that teach us to be strong will love this book.

I received this book as a review copy from the publisher because I am an employee of an early intervention program. I work with families who have children with devastating birth defects or diagnoses, some even more involved than the author's son, Jacob. However, most of the families have at least something positive to say about their child and sometimes even about the people they never would have met except for the tragedy that occurred. Although this book does demonstrate how important it is to be an advocate for your child, I am reluctant to share this book with parents of children with disabilities because it is so negative. I would hate for a new parent of a child with a disability to feel that they only have continual struggles ahead of them with no hope of joyous moments. Additionally, the obviously unedited book has numerous grammatical and spelling errors that were very obvious when trying to read the book.

Dawn Atkinson's book In This Together: The Journey of Mother and Child was truly a great book. As a mother raising a special needs child, Dawn's book truly hit home. It was like reading my life story. I recommend this book to everyone. The letter at the end that Dawn writes to her son, brought tears to my eyes and her advice she gives to loved ones and professionals, I have shared with those people whom are involved in my own son's life.
Dawn, I want to personally thank you for writing this book. You put all the feelings of Mom's everywhere into one book and we appreciate that very much.